July 17, 2007
you will have fun OR ELSE
So happy birthday to Charlie! Huzzah! And thank you for all your birthday wishes.
Turning five is great, apparently, except for the part where there weren’t enough presents and his dessert wasn’t what he “suspected.” Oh and the whole bit about how I asked him to get dressed this morning. Because GOD how UNREASONABLE am I to expect him to PUT PANTS ON. I mean, it’s his BIRTHDAY for god’s sake. And laying on the playroom floor SOBBING was SO MUCH MORE FUN than getting dressed and going to Starbucks.
Or something like that.
Today was a long day, a long looooooooooong day. I was up half the night, worrying about this and that, and after an hour of the worry, I got up and worked (which was one thing I was worrying about). But by then it was 4:30 am and everyone in the house was up and going at 6:30, so I started the day tired and cranky. And after yesterday’s Tomorrow-Is-My-Birthday! cutefest, the birthday boy was a little bit whiny today. And his horribly neglected brother, who already HAD a birthday thankyouverymuch, was a real delight.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG day.
This summer, my kids have developed a delightful propensity for not wanting to do ANYTHING that might REMOTELY be fun if it involves 1) putting on clothes, 2) leaving the house or 3) not staying in the playroom in their pajamas playing with Legos and Bionicles. No matter what kind of adventure we hold out for them (pool! park! playdate! parade! with ponies!) they refuse, sometimes politely and sometimes less politely. (The ONE thing they are ALWAYS willing to do is go to the grocery, because groceries means SuperTarget and SuperTarget has a TOY AISLE and maybe just maybe if they whine enough I will buy them something. Because my kids? have NO toys. NONE! It’s horrible the lack of toys at our house. Horrible.)
This morning, I had every intention of taking The Birthday Child and his sidekick, Disgruntled Boy, to Starbucks and getting them EACH a donut because how often are you (or your brother) five! But then after Charlie had a tantrum about getting dressed, I nixed that and we just ran drive thru errands instead (pharmacy, video store, bank, dry cleaners). And I read them the riot act about how there would be NO MORE complaining about the Fun Things we have planned, and how I did not want to hear ONE SINGLE WORD for the REST OF THE SUMMER about how long and boring their days were and could they PLEASE play on the computer and watch television. Because dammit we are going to do FUN THINGS if it KILLS US.
Hmmm. That sounds so familiar. Have I said that before? Quite possibly.
(Oh, yes I did. Here. Go figure.)
This afternoon we went bowling, which involved MORE whining and complaining and begging to go to the POOL instead and then much joy and delight and proclamations of BOWLING IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER! which made me want to kill them both. Charlie bowled a 97, and Henry bowled a 99 and a 98. At one point, they were bowling at the same time in adjoining lanes and BOTH bowled strikes at the same time. Charlie came dancing into Henry’s lane so they could high-five and all the other moms died from the cuteness.
I wasn’t fooled.
Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is sticking to your guns. This morning, when I told Charlie that there would be no donut because he wouldn’t get dressed, he sobbed, “My birthday is NOT going like I thought it would.” And my heart broke a little, because how could it not! But it was time to get dressed, and he didn’t, and that was that. We still had to run the errands, but there was no donut at the end because that’s a treat and treats are for kids who get dressed when they’re asked to.
I hate being that mom.
And then there was the little window when, after I had confirmed with the other moms that yes, we would meet them at the bowling alley, the kids started saying they didn’t want to go bowling. No no! We’re GOING bowling! Because you’ve missed too many other fun things this summer, and I’m still listening to the complaints about them. (Charlie: Why didn’t we go to the parade? Me: Because you REFUSED to go. Remember? Charlie: Oh, yeah . . . ) I’m tired of making plans only to have the kids moan about how the plans won’t be FUUUUUUUN before we’ve even left the house.
I hate being THAT mom, too.
When we left the bowling alley, the boys were begging to go swimming. Okay, I said, let’s go home and get a snack and get ready. And then during the snack, in the cool air conditioning, they changed their minds, which was fine with me because I had a gigantic headache. And Henry asked if he could do computer and Charlie asked if he could watch a video and I said yes, 20 minutes of computer and ONE Bob the Builder DVD and that was it.
And when that was over and it was nearly 4:45, Henry said, “Okay! NOW let’s go to the pool!” But by then it was too late and when I tried to explain that he had chosen to play at home instead of going swimming he sobbed and yelled at me and said I ruined his afternoon.
All this having fun is wearing me out.
Posted by Susan @ 7:14 pm • Uncategorized
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July 17th, 2007 at 9:04 pm, Mark Says:
What has amazed me is the reversal. My five year old has decided she needs us to wipe her rear, put her clothes on her, ect. All things she could do at an earlier age.
When did 5 become 15?
July 17th, 2007 at 9:26 pm, Annika Says:
I am exhausted just reading about all that fun. Oy.
What about screen time tickets (like OMSH does)? Do you think they’re old enough to ‘get’ an idea like that? (And I don’t really mean their age.)
July 17th, 2007 at 10:37 pm, Anonymous Says:
2 words- summer camp! get those kids signed up somewhere, and then they will be grateful for the fun you plan, OR they will love it and beg to keep going! Good luck with the rest of the summer!
susan
July 17th, 2007 at 11:05 pm, Karianna Says:
I am ALWAYS “that mom.” Sigh.
And my dessert was totally not what I “suspected.” Sheesh.
Glad your loooong day is over. Pat yourself on the back.
July 18th, 2007 at 4:50 am, chichimama Says:
Oy indeed. And a very small piece of me is glad to hear that I am not the only one with children who whine about doing fun things and refuse to get dressed and leave the playroom. It makes me feel so much better about being “that mom.”
Hope today is the day that they decide clothes are the best thing since pajama’s…
July 18th, 2007 at 7:40 am, MamaChristy Says:
“I hate being that mom.”
But they will totally love you for being that mom when they are happy, functioning adults.
July 18th, 2007 at 10:05 am, marti Says:
You have inspired me to write about the boredome of summer. Thanks.
July 18th, 2007 at 11:26 am, Laurie Says:
Oh man, I think you stole my life. The ONLY difference in your summer and mine is that I have a boy and a GIRL rather than two boys. I wholeheartedly agree that it is really difficult to be “that mom”. Ugh.
July 18th, 2007 at 12:18 pm, Shan Says:
Exactly. I’m “that mom” too. And, yes, I too am glad to hear I’m not the only one with a child who inexplicably refuses to go out and do something fun. What’s UP with that?!
July 18th, 2007 at 12:53 pm, Sarah Says:
Are you sure you don’t live at my house and your boys’ names are not Charlie and Henry and they are actually 4 and 2? Cause that sounds an awful lot like my life. And I, too, hate being that mom.
July 18th, 2007 at 1:19 pm, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
You have no idea how much it encourages me to hear that other moms have days like this.
Are you still on for BlogHer?
July 18th, 2007 at 1:58 pm, Susan Says:
Shannon, BlogHer is the ONLY THING between me and a padded cell right now.
See you next week, girlfriend.
July 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm, Lisa Milton Says:
From this Mom to that - I hear ya. I plan many activities because it is SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, this summer thang. Then they are worn out and obnoxious and I hate it.
Oh well.
We do what we can, so they don’t become those kids.
Be well.
July 18th, 2007 at 3:52 pm, lapoflux Says:
Thank you thank you thank you… for making me realize I am not the only mum who TRIES to get to them doing fun things only to be told “No thank you”. (on a good day for the 5 year old - on a bad day whines, and the the 3 year old just screeches).
I am SO not Julie McCoy on the Love Boat, but I try to entertain them. So why is it MY fault when they refuse to do something, then end up bored and grumpy…?
At least I am not alone. Soldier on!
July 18th, 2007 at 7:53 pm, Cathy Says:
I am having the opposite week. I have only one 20 month old angel. J is in a kick-ass camp for kids with ADHD/AS (can ya believe THAT?) and Ambrose is in a camp for 5 year olds that want to rollerblade, but think they suck when they rollerblade with older brother.. I am living the life. I agree with anon - a week of summer camp - even a 1/2 day camp? it refreshes everyone!
and off topic - are you at PD still?
July 18th, 2007 at 7:59 pm, Catherine Says:
Hold on nelly… all I got from this post is that my soon-to-be four year old boy will still be refusing to get dressed and throw himself on the floor daily when he’s five. Good to know.
Actually, your day sounds very much like ours. I’m that mom too. But if we’re all that mom, isn’t that the norm and that other mom becomes that mom?
July 18th, 2007 at 9:38 pm, Caitlin Says:
Thank God I’m not the only one. It happens in Australia too, my girls are exactly the same.
Gin and tonic helps.