May 25, 2006
you should totally picture my summer as a layout from the J. Crew catalog
Hello! So nice to see you! I’ve got nothing. Nothing! It’s hot as hell here already; our air conditioner is running ALL THE TIME; last night it stopped for a while and Wade said, “Is it REALLY cooling off in here, or is the AC broken?” Luckily, it was just cooling off! Everyone is sleeping, all night, in their own beds, BUT this morning when Henry woke up (at FIVE FORTY FIVE!) he decided it would be cute to get in bed with Charlie, who was STILL SLEEPING. Let me tell you something that you may not realize: when your day starts at six am and includes two kids who don’t nap AND temperatures near 100 degrees AND a spouse who leaves for work at seven am and comes home eleven hours later, it’s a LONG DAMN DAY.
And, to add insult to injury, I get a new J. Crew catalog every other day. Yes, really! So three times a week, I can sit around and wonder why the hell I’m not lounging in a hammock somewhere sunny but NOT hot in my lovely cashmere sweater and bikini bottoms drinking something frozen and fruity while the kids are off with the nanny (oh, sorry, forgot–the people in J. Crewland are too young to have kids. But! If they did! Nannies all around!).
Of course, I AM going to Florida for a week in June, and we WILL be staying mere feet from the beach, in a house with a pool, which should be VERY J. Crew, shouldn’t it? And I will lounge around in lovely white skirts and crisp polo shirts and sip my drink and laugh at everything. I certainly won’t end up sunburned and swearing at my kids because they’ve lost their shoes AGAIN. No, not me! Never.
The boys and I are still trying to find our summer groove; we get up in the morning and have breakfast and then head for the park, before it’s too hot. After lunch, we run errands or go to the bookstore (air conditioned!) or play at home. Late in the day we watch a movie (this week we’re all about Spy Kids–and really, Antonio Banderas is pretty hot. Even Wade agrees) and play with pirates or read stories or draw or dance. At some point, if I’m lucky, I will get a shower, but it has to be quick or the boys will come in the bathroom to report on who hit who and ask me to get them a snack. While I’m showering.
It’s a party all the time.
Today Henry said to me, “I want to go swimming. Can we go swimming?”
“No, buddy, the pool isn’t open.”
“It isn’t? Why not?”
“Well, it’s not summer yet.”
“It isn’t? Why not?”
“Uh, well, because it’s not Memorial Day yet.”
“It isn’t? Why not?”
“Uhhhh . . . .” And then what little was left of my brain melted out. The end.
It’s so much nicer to imagine me on the yacht with the fruity drink. For all of us. And maybe if you all click your heels three times I will end up there. Come on, try it. For me.
Please.
Posted by Susan @ 8:52 pm • Uncategorized
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May 25th, 2006 at 9:40 pm, Suburban Turmoil Says:
Oh, I’m sure Wade will be pleased when he learns that the entire blogosphere knows about his Banderas crush!
Right now, Susan, I’m coming here as much to see where your sidebar will be as I am to read your posts!
I feel for you, I really do, because I am forever effing up my blog and begging the Internet to come to my rescue! Wish I could help.
May 25th, 2006 at 9:53 pm, Karen Rani Says:
Click click click.
Now go away.
Kidding!
May 25th, 2006 at 10:00 pm, Mamacita Tina Says:
I totally feel your pain. My kids nap, but being one is 4 months, and the other 23 months, they are napping at different times of the day. The days are VERY long, and I’m usually desperately waiting to hear hubby’s car pull up so he can give me a breather and enlighten me with adult conversation.
I’ll give you three clicks, if you’ll do the same for me.
May 25th, 2006 at 10:15 pm, Susan Says:
I love that half the entertainment at Friday Playdate is the thrill of WHERE EXACTLY WILL THE POST BE TODAY? At the BOTTOM of the page? Or at the top, where it should be? It’s thrilling, the mystery!
I’m so sorry, you all. I have no idea what the hell is going on. I think this is my punishment for selling out (the ads! they have destroyed the template!) and of course, to make it worse, the whole thing looks fine on the iBook. But not so much, apparently, in IE.
Maybe you should all click your heels and hope that my template fixes itself! That would be REALLY great, yes?
May 25th, 2006 at 11:20 pm, Granny Says:
I don’t know what’s going on with your blog but it looks okay to me.
I want to go on the cruise with you. Please?
May 25th, 2006 at 11:21 pm, Granny Says:
Sorry, I stuttered. Or blogger did.
May 26th, 2006 at 6:24 am, Felicity Says:
HAHAHA While you’re suffering in the heat of OK, I AM having a party over here. Really! Carrying the wheelchair to and from my truck, carrying an 85 pound Fin everywhere he wants to go, trying to keep the stink of the new pet ferret contained by cleaning the cage every single day, watching my 15 y/o dd slip thru my hands.
If there’s any results fromt he clicking, it’s for me.
Oh, and p.s.? Forget about dr. bills, I now have TOY bills. TO allevite the guilt fromt he accident. And 90% of the places we go? Do NOT have automated doors.
and pps, if I did get to J Crew heaven, I’d have to wear a burkha, since I have now crossed the line into TOTAL fatness, Medifast be damned.
May 26th, 2006 at 6:49 am, Susan Says:
Okay, you SHOULD all start clicking your heels for Felicity–and then click on over to her site and give her some love.
Now pass me a margarita, okay?
May 26th, 2006 at 7:05 am, ieatcrayonz Says:
I’m sorry, did you say something? I can’t hear you through the puddle of melted brain in my ear.
IT’S TOO HOT ALREADY!
Take lots of pictures on your FL vacation. I know that I’m ready for another one.
May 26th, 2006 at 7:18 am, molly Says:
Aha! This is why I don’t take the J. Crew catalog; I take the J. Jill catalog. Most of the models in there are at least 35 or so, several of them have gray hair, and the clothes are lovely and floaty and forgiving.
BTW, speaking of floaty, your site looks fine in Firefox, but I did spot something strange in your CSS; I’ll email you about it when I’ve had a chance to look it over a little more carefully.
May 26th, 2006 at 7:39 am, Kristen Says:
You have the kids talking to you (I mean yelling and fighting) while you’re in the shower problem too? ARGH, that drives me nuts. My time home alone with them is all day on weekends, and I end up in the shower during Quinn’s nap, when Bryce can’t fight with him over a toy. GAA.
May 26th, 2006 at 8:18 am, Susan Says:
Kristen, my kids hear “Mommy’s going to take a QUICK shower” and they think “FIGHT CLUB! FIGHT CLUB!”
Every. Damn. Time.
May 26th, 2006 at 8:32 am, Holly Says:
Thank you for your blog!! A friend of mine stumbled across it the other day and sent me the link. You are so honest about mommyhood in your writing. I love it. I have a blog for family and friends to keep up with our doings, but I sugarcoat it. My in-laws read it religiously and well, I must do everything I can to look like the greatest mommy ever because well they pretty much think I’m the opposite. Anyway, I won’t ramble here. But I really enjoy your blog and just wanted to share that!
May 26th, 2006 at 11:57 am, mama_tulip Says:
Last year was the hottest summer we’ve had in like, a zillion and a half years. I know, who woulda thunk it, but it gets fuckin’ HAWT here in Canada in the summer. And during a ridiculous heatwave, where temperatures hit like, 114, our a/c crapped out.
I was 38 weeks pregnant.
My neighbours heard me crying from the kitchen floor and came over to ask if I was in labour.
No, really.
I feel for you.
(BTW, your blog looks fine to me. And am I ever glad I found it.)
May 26th, 2006 at 12:34 pm, Java Junkie Says:
I’m right there with you, except it’s not hot here, just really wet and Parker can’t understand why mommy won’t take him outside to play. Ten more degrees and I will! Rain, mud, worms and all, I don’t care, the kid needs some fresh air!
As for the shoes on your upcoming trip to FLA - cheapo flip flops For the WIN. Buy like 4 pairs for each kid in advance.
*supportive hug* hope things go a little better for you soon.
May 26th, 2006 at 12:51 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
Clicking works! I have stuf from J Crew AND I have a nanny. She comes once a week, and I’m usually out running errands like a madwoman. But I like to think of myself sipping my fruity drink as a hot male massage therapist does his thing to me, just before getting my pedicure and highlights. Because that’s what people do if they have nannies.
Unless they have 3 kids under 3 1/2, like me.
May 26th, 2006 at 1:24 pm, Felicity Says:
My interesting life: I’ve been obsessing since I commented here HOURS AGO that maybe I hijacked? And my spelling was awful. So now I’m fat AND embarassed. So let’s click for everyone, everywhere. And throw in some clicks for yesterday’s Princess, too.
May 26th, 2006 at 11:02 pm, lildb Says:
I just got another flippin’ catalog from those tree-destroying bastards today. and I managed to keep myself from poring over *most* of it.
I wanna cashmere fancy-shmance something-or-other, dammit!
(I’d settle for jeans that fit.)
May your Memorial Day weekend go more smoothly than the brain-melting festival of today.