February 27, 2008
you can be my Nick Arrojo*
I’m turning 40 soon (does that make you nervous? because people get all wigged out when I say I AM TURNING 40, like 40 is some disease that might RUB OFF on them if I get too close). I’m not a midlife crisis kind of girl; I’m more of a mid-week or mid-morning type, because why save it up? Let’s just get it over with and move on. For me, 40 is just a really great excuse to have a party.
Or three.
I’m totally good with turning 40; I have a terrific marriage, two great kids, a nice house, an interesting career (of sorts). I also have terrific friends and family.
But I have TERRIBLE hair.
When I think about what I expected my life to be like at 40, I did NOT expect to STILL be struggling with one bad hair day after another. I mean COME ON, 40 is like totally grown up — so why do I still have tenth-grade-picture-day hair?
(Oh don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean. EVERYONE has bad hair in tenth grade, ESPECIALLY on picture day. And if you didn’t then I do not want to hear about it. Ever.)
Also my face still breaks out. Perhaps what I really need is an entirely new snap-on head, like the ones on the Barbie dolls. And breasts! And feet that are designed ONLY for stilettos! And a hairless boyfriend!
Wait, what was I talking about? Right, my hair.
I decided recently to grow my hair out; I was between stylists, again, because the LAST girl mulletized me, just in time for the holidays. But I am impatient and my mullet was starting to make me look like Carol Brady, so about two weeks ago I went to a NEW stylist for cut and color, because I am ALSO getting really really gray all of a sudden. The color turned out great, very subtle and shiny, although the cut consisted mostly of the stylist waving the scissors NEAR my head because I had said that I wanted to let it all GROW.
I swear I have a point here. I think.
So my hair is growing, and I am encouraging it with scalp massages and special hair growth vitamins and Girl Scout cookies (what do you mean THIN MINTS WON’T MAKE MY HAIR GROW?) and it’s getting longer, I guess. Slowly.
V e r y s l o o o o o o w l y .
Eventually, if I can stick it out, it will be a Classic Bob, as the stylist said, and he will make it even MORE shiny and colorful and it will be SO GREAT. Right now, though, it just looks terrible, either all helmet-y or all birds-nest-y, which I hate. And I have to BLOW DRY IT every day (which is like ONE TOO MANY THINGS in my already jam-packed morning). Plus it is really REALLY boring.
Stupid hair.
The one thing I do remember about how I thought my life would be at 40 is this: it wouldn’t be boring. I wouldn’t be boring. I would do Interesting Things! and go Interesting Places! and hang out with Interesting People! And of course I would have Interesting Hair. I have most of that going on, if you take into account that I’m really just a Soccer Mom with an internet connection, but my hair is still a disaster.
I think I’ve kept my short short hair for so long because it’s different and unexpected; now that I’m letting my hair grow, I feel kind of generic and bland. Also the blow drying is making me insane. I think it is possibly frying the five brain cells I have left.
And that, my friends, is the extent of my mid-life crisis.
*To the tune of the Barenaked Ladies’ You Can Be My Yoko Ono. Of course.
Posted by Susan @ 8:21 pm • better than Botox
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February 27th, 2008 at 8:39 pm, Jenn Searls Says:
I am so there with you. I had your hairstyle for 5 years. Loved it. Decided I had to grow it out because I always swore that I wouldn’t be one of those people who had the same hairstyle for a zillion years because they were too scared to try something new. Thing is…I hate the fussing. I hate blowing it straight. I hate the flat iron. I hate that I mostly pull my hair back so what the heck did I grow it out for? And I feel like I am generic and boring with this hair (a la Katie..er…Kate Holmes). Sigh…on the other hand, it’s taken me 18 months to get to this point so I don’t want to just chop it all off quite yet. Good luck!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:44 pm, Headless Mom Says:
Wow Susan, I LOVE your hair! You totally rock the short look. I’ve always wanted short hair like that but I now have a husband that has threatened to divorce me if I cut it shorter than chin length again. (I totally DON’T rock short hair.)
Good luck growing it out and Happy 40-It is my year to turn, too!
February 27th, 2008 at 8:47 pm, bethanywd Says:
This is so funny that you are writing about this because my close friend just started growing her hair out in preparation of her 40th birthday!
And, seriously, we need some photos as this evolves.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:56 pm, Kate Says:
I too am growing out my hair - although FROM the bob to a longer layered look. I’m also growing out a series of fun but time consuming varieties of bangs. I’m all about taking vitamins and hoping against hope that it’s longer today than it was yesterday! This middle-of the road Mary Tyler Moore thing that is currently happening is enough to make me have a crisis most mornings!
Good luck with your growing!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:13 pm, Erin Says:
My hair is super, super short - but it looks best when I spend 5 to 10 minutes either blow drying or running a flat iron over the ends. On the days where I don’t feel like doing either, I picked up a few of these:
from JCrew. They are fabulous. I think I posted a picture of myself wearing one in my flickr photostream (Erin829). They might work well for you whilst you work on growing it out. FWIW I think you rock the short hair!
February 27th, 2008 at 9:14 pm, Erin Says:
Whoops. Here’s the link. Sorry!
http://www.jcrew.com/catalog/product.jhtml?id=prod83695201&catId=cat290251
I love me some madras.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:04 pm, Shan Says:
It’s funny; I hate the blowdrying too, which is part of what is keeping me with my long hair, which I have just grown for 2-1/2 years to get this way (total change, after many, many years of bob with bangs and then short layers with bangs; now it’s long and straight, long layers in front, no bangs). With my long hair, I only wash it 2 times a week (this works for me b/c my hair is very, very dry)–which means I only blow it dry 2 times a week. But that also means that in between I wear it pulled back a LOT. So part of me thinks, Why do I even have this long hair that no one ever really sees anyway?
But despite all that, I still went to my hair appointment this very night and got only the barest of maintenance trims. Because I can’t go back to that short-hair daily blowdrying. I hear you so loud and clear.
I do love the classic bob with a nice modern feel (say, shorter in back and angled forward). I think it is flattering on so many women.
Good luck, Susan. In the end, as I’m sure others will say, I always think you look adorable with your funky, stylish short haircut. That’s the kind of hair people look at and think, Maybe I should have hair like that! Susan is brilliant! Cheers.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:18 pm, merrymishaps Says:
Hmm, have you posted a photo of yourself since the stylist waved scissors at you?
Since you are trying to grow it out, you’re probably going to have to suffer a little longer. You’d look cute in a headband or scarf. Just scrunch in some gel or mousse and let air dry.
Not that I have any experience growing out really short hair, but I did wear my hair in a clip for most of 8th and 9th grade, Growing out those 80s layers was a nightmare! (My 10th grade photo was pretty good, actually, but you’ll never see 7th-9th!)
February 27th, 2008 at 10:24 pm, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
Oh, I feel your pain, sister. I’m growing out my short ‘do, too. My husband wondered aloud the other day if our marriage was strong enough to surivive my bang issues.
February 27th, 2008 at 10:34 pm, Jenn @ Juggling Life Says:
Funny how important our hair is.
I agree that you could rock the headband while growing out the hair.
40 is a helluva party! My BFF’s husband was out of town for mine. She ended up flirting shamelessly with a football player friend of my daughter’s. Good times!
February 27th, 2008 at 11:14 pm, Busy Mom Says:
You had me at the BNL reference.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:39 am, Stephanie Says:
Wow Susan, I also love (and covet) your short hair. But I completely understand your need for change. I cut mine off this summer in a desperate desire for something new, but then discovered that a shorter, layered cut requires maintenance. And I am not a maintenance kind of a gal. So now I’m growing it back out to my regular style, the page-boy, cut off between the shoulders and the chin style that I’ve sported since the 1st grade.
But because I have all the layers, I have to have some pulled back and some falling down in the back, (it’s a bit of a mullet right now) so most days I end up looking like Sawyer on LOST.
You know that is H-O-T.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:07 am, chichimama Says:
I stuck it out. I love my flat! shinny! bob! But it does take slightly more work than the “scrunch it and go” haircut I had before. I have made peace with the flat iron, however.
And my big hair question, why can’t one find a good colorist AND stylist in the same person?
February 28th, 2008 at 7:15 am, All Adither Says:
You can have unexpected, cool longer hair. Just put a pink streak in it.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:51 am, Tracy Says:
You could take pre-natals for super hair growth (and shiny-ness!). I got my haircut the other day and my stylist said “How many of those are you taking?” Who says you have to be expecting?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:24 am, Alyssa Says:
Ha. I totally got that the title was sung to BNL. On the hair front, I suck at hair too, but have looked long and hard to find a stylist that understands that I don’t care what it looks like as long as it doesn’t make me look old or fat or horribly out of style. I struggle tho because my hair is naturally curly but thin and fine. so, most of the time it’s wild and curly. Take biotin, it will help it grow out faster (plus, bonus, better nails too).
February 28th, 2008 at 8:29 am, Sister Honey Bunch Says:
I had a sassy, super short, super cute hair style. Then I grew it out just in time for my 40th birthday last November (which was a 3 day bash with all my favorite girls.).
My hair grew in curly. Really curly. It makes me happy.
PS 40 rawks.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:06 am, Mara Says:
Happy 40! I don’t think it’s contagious, so I’m not scared. Right now I am in one of those frustrating positions in which my life is NOT HEADING THE WAY I WANTED– I think that’s the only thing that makes any paticular age scary. If I had your lovely checked-off list (with your lovely babies on it! That’s all I want!), I’d welcome 40 too! As it is, 27 gave me a minor crisis last month.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:42 am, Suniverse Says:
I’m closing in on 40, too, and growing my hair out because I’ve had a nightmare trying to find a stylist who understands that really kinky, really curly, really DRY hair is a completely different animal, and when I say I don’t want mushroom head, I mean it.
I’m loving the gray, though.
Good luck keeping your cool through the growth. And go with the headbands.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:43 am, Suniverse Says:
Oh, and I STILL break out, too. What is UP with that?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:53 am, Javamom Says:
I hate blowdrying my hair because it takes so friggin’ long. But if I don’t, given the freezing temperatures outside, my hair will look straight out of 1980s highschool. Frozen in place, although not by hairspray…
February 28th, 2008 at 12:54 pm, Pamela Says:
Are you on Whoorl’s crazy long waiting list for Hair Thursdays that she keeps postponing?
February 28th, 2008 at 1:21 pm, Paulla Says:
Wow, we must be kindred spirits. I turned 40 last year and realized I’d hated my hair for most of my life. I cut it all off and I’ve been tweaking it ever since. It’s not there yet, but I’m still working on it.
Maybe by 41?…
February 28th, 2008 at 1:43 pm, Virginia Says:
Welcome (soon) to the Fabulous Forties. I have to admit that I have spent my entire 40-some years cutting my hair off and then growing it back out, never satisfied with any length or style. I believe I will go to my grave with my hair in some in-between half-grown out shaggy style.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:31 pm, MJH Says:
I’d love to do the short hair, but that requires regular haircuts. I’m the frumpy mom that only gets 2 or 3 cuts a year. When I did the short-do, complete with regular trims, I discovered (quite by accident, long story) that the best stylists are men’s barbers. Color still requires a regular beauty salon person, but find a barber, one who is reluctant to touch your hair because you are a woman, and he’ll give you a great cut. They give consistantly great cuts too, no bad haircut surprises the day of the biggest event you’ve been to since your last bad haircut!
February 28th, 2008 at 2:46 pm, standing still Says:
Old woman advice here: Keep it simple. If you love gray hair, keep it. If you love to have your hair colored, do it. If you hate to do the styling, keep it short. If you want the long hair, prepare for ball cap and cute clip days with your mid-way bangs. At 45 I can tell you this. Nothing, not even aging, makes zits go away for good. I swear they will use concealer on my cold, dead corpse to hide blemishes.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm, Sue Says:
I do love your short hair, but I understand the need for change. (Maybe something Katie Holmes-esque?) I grew mine out a bit as I approached 40. Still short, but more options now. I think some PRODUCT could help you through the transition period. I don’t know exactly which product, but you could play with some and see what works. Or some really great chunky necklaces. (Draw that eye down!)
And as far as the pimples go, my limited experience as a 40-year old tells me that they only get (sit down) worse. Sorry about that. But you have the great concealer.
Sue W.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:38 pm, aisha Says:
Isn’t Carol Brady hair awful? The only nice thing about it is I can reassure myself that I have moved out of the Awful Mullet Thing stage.
I hate hate hate waiting for my hair to grow- I stopped cutting it almost a year ago(I had been shaving it, something which I’m thisclose to doing again over the summer because I’ve forgotten what it is like to have hair. Seriously. You forget how much effort goes into hair). My hair barely reaches the bottom of my nose now. In front. In back it’s just… stupid looking. But most people in my town have long hair, so I’m afraid to have anyone cut it, because I’ve waited a YEAR for my hair to get this long, and I’m not letting someone take all of that away with one ‘oops…’
I’d like to think I had a point with that…
February 29th, 2008 at 11:30 am, sozzled Says:
I’m quickly approaching 40 and like you have been mulling the seeming lack of midlife crisis….which I think is causing my mid-blog crisis. I have no hair advice because 99% of the time my hair is in a pony tail, but I think the party or two or three is a great idea
March 2nd, 2008 at 5:04 pm, Kian Says:
You know, we all go through the midlife hair crisis, probably (definitely) more than once in our midlives. I just turned 39 and finally got decent hair. For too long, way too long, I was doing either the Betty Page look, or the no style look or the “I got a one inch pixie cut two months into my pregnancy and had the joys of bad short hair to go with my growing belly and it took FOREVER to grow out and now that the baby is nearly 10 months old, it looks decent”
I can’t imagine you with longer hair though because I’ve only seen photos with the short hair and you really really rock that look.
March 3rd, 2008 at 12:06 am, kerflop Says:
Can we just trade? I have your bob and you have the hawt short hair I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to do for months. If we hate the trade, we’ll just trade back!