August 2, 2007
worlds colliding
Every once in a while, Wade’s cell phone will ring and he will not be standing near it and will yell, “GET THAT WILL YOU?” and inevitably it’s someone he works with and I will chat with them because I’m RIGHT THERE on the phone and they’re all really nice people. And when I hand the phone over, he will say, in a pretend distressed voice, “My work life and home life coming together. Greaaaaat.”
We like to keep things compartmentalized around here. It’s just easier.
This weekend, my blog life and my home life are coming together, right here in my living room, and it may cause my husband’s head to implode because WORLDS COLLIDING (remember that Seinfeld episode?). The fabulous HeatherB is jetting to Oklahoma City for Wito’s birthday party (although I think she really just wants to touch Whoorl’s hair some more) and will be sleeping in my guest room (note to self: clean guest room ASAP).
The Internet is coming to my house and it’s making me nervous.
This afternoon, while I was trying to grocery shop with both kids, Shana called me to say DUDE IS HEATHER REALLY STAYING WITH YOU? And while we were visiting, I had to stop about fifteen times to tell my kids to BEHAVE DAMMIT OR I WILL LEAVE YOU HERE IN THE SUPERTARGET (which would be a more effective threat if they didn’t love Target so much). They were seriously playing some crazy game where they took turns poking each other in the face and then crying because HE POKED ME IN THE FACE. I loved that Shana’s first exposure to my kids was the poking and crying and my yelling. Awesome.
I am nervous about the Internet coming to my house because the great thing about the Internet, of course, is that for all you know, I always speak lovingly and kindly to my children and have plenty of milk in the fridge and clean bathrooms. But the reality (you will be SHOCKED to hear) is that I don’t know what’s for dinner most of the time, there’s something sticky on the bathroom floors, and my kids need to STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER.
Also, for all you know, I wear really cute shoes and mascara every day and take my kids to do totally fun things or stay home and do fabulous crafts with them. The reality, of course, is that some days I don’t shower and most of the time I wear flip flops and there is no such things as a “fabulous” craft for kids like mine. My real day doesn’t consist of drinking cocktails on the patio or talking about books or politics or much of anything with other adults (there’s not much TALKING to other adults, actually). There’s a lot of scrambling to find something for lunch and loading and unloading the dishwasher and trying to remember to drink some water every once in a while.
And I know you’re thinking of course we knew that, our lives are exactly the same, but still it’s funny to have someone you know ONLY from the Internet and BlogHer (motto: The Drinks are Free and Plentiful!) come to stay in my real house and my real life. I’m excited to see HeatherB but I hope she’s not disappointed by my mommy lifestyle.
We’re going bowling. Awesome.
Today, as I was pulling in the driveway, SJ called my cell phone and got to hear me say, “CHARLIE! GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE!”
“Ooooh,” she said, “Go to your room is huge. Wow.”
Then again, maybe the Internet already knows what I’m like and there’s nothing to really worry about.
Posted by Susan @ 3:05 pm • the internet came to my house
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August 2nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm, Susan Says:
I think this is a safe place to voice my favorite thing to say to my children.
“RUN! Save yourself.”
August 2nd, 2007 at 4:23 pm, gorillabuns Says:
i would be quite disappointed to find out, you were perfect.
and you didn’t get frustrated with your kids.
and you didn’t drink alcohol.
wait, scratch the last one. we know better on that one.
bowl-a-rama!
August 2nd, 2007 at 5:25 pm, Liz Says:
The REAL you comes out! i LOVE it.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:05 pm, threeplustwo Says:
LOL, when my soon to be 4 year old twins are into mischief and see me coming they yell “RUUUNNNNN” and scatter in opposite directions (to save themselves).
BTW, Susan what college did you teach at in Seattle? My oldest daughter went to SPU and is now in grad school at the UW.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:09 pm, Wendy Says:
You have completely shattered my image of you and I dont know if I will recover.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:13 pm, undercovermutha Says:
You are wonderful.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:21 pm, chris Says:
Yvonne got to hear me yell at Miles to get off the stove tonight while I was cooking dinner at 7:30pm. And then she got to hear him cry when he burned himself by touching the pot.
Just keepin’ it real for you.
August 2nd, 2007 at 7:42 pm, Heather B. Says:
I think we’ll be ok.
At least I’m hoping we’ll be ok.
Who randomly decides to come to Oklahoma at the drop of a hat?? You’re a freaking saint for putting up with me for three extra days.
And I hope you’re there for me when I call Charlie, Henry and vice versa. Because I totally will.
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:54 pm, Kari Says:
I never touch cell phones that aren’t my own.
I was listening to a radio show in which my husband’s boss was scheduled to be interviewed. A few seconds before airtime, I heard a phone ringing in our house. Yup, it was Big Boss’ cell phone in a brown paper bag (?!) with the Big Radio Personality on the other end.
August 2nd, 2007 at 11:13 pm, Jamiee Says:
Like the new digs, hope the visit is anything but the usual!
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:22 am, dorothy Says:
I do still sort of thing you’re way more fashionable than me. Sorry.
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:03 am, Shash Says:
I have to agree with dorothy, even though we live the same life, you seem to do it with much more panache than I do.
Which is fine. someone needs to pick up that torch, and I’m wicked tired. So um, thanks
My kids? Right now? Playing video games. Oh, and fighting. I may run away by the end of the day. At least that’s what I’m currently threatening them with.
Have fun this weekend.
Shash
August 3rd, 2007 at 9:06 am, Friday Playdate » my kids are all over the Internet! Says:
[…] scrambling around to get the last bit of cleaning done before the Internet comes to my house, but in the mean time you can go over to Vodkarella and read about what my children will talk about […]
August 4th, 2007 at 3:06 pm, jenB Says:
I love you with the fire of a thousand suns.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:05 am, jm Says:
Well, even if all that stuff is true, your hair looks fantastic all the time.
Also, perfect moms are SOOOOOOOO boring. And they don’t drink enough.
August 7th, 2007 at 1:15 pm, Anne Glamore Says:
You should have HEARD the talk about manners I gave my boys before we met MetroDad for lunch. I sure as hell hope it worked. He hasn’t been dissing my kids, has he?