February 8, 2007
why he will never leave
Wade and I are always joking about our next marriage, you know, things like MY NEXT HUSBAND WILL DANCE or MY NEXT WIFE WILL COOK. Because there’s not a lot of either going on here right now. We’re also that couple who says things like, “I see your boyfriend” and “Boob job, five o’clock.” I’m not going to tell you who says what, though. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
We crack ourselves up regularly with this: Wade will pull the car into the driveway and let me get out there, instead of having to squeeze out between the car and the wall inside the garage. He’ll say, “Do you want out?” and I’ll say, “OH IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH I WANT OUT. Wait, were you talking about the car or this whole marriage and kids thing?” And we laugh. Every time. Because we’re like that.
I like to believe that joking about having the number of a good divorce lawyer programmed into my cell phone’s speed dial is a sign that I’m not thinking about leaving my husband. But it’s also nice to have moments of proof that we are truly meant to be together.
Twice in the last twenty four hours, Wade has taken his glasses off, set them down, and walked away. And then he has wandered around our house looking for his glasses and getting progressively more irritated.
Twice in the last twenty four hours, I have walked directly to where he left his glasses, on the first try. The first time, they were on the dresser in Charlie’s room; the second time, on a random end table in our living room. Wade had looked in both of those rooms without any luck. I went right to the glasses, both times.
Last night, I told Wade, “This is why you can never leave me. Because I’m the only one who can find your glasses.”
Posted by Susan @ 8:50 am • Uncategorized
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February 8th, 2007 at 9:07 am, Karyn Says:
I am totally stapling my husband’s glasses to his head, in that case.
February 8th, 2007 at 9:15 am, Jack's Raging Mommy Says:
What a wonderful story. I’m really not being sarcastic, I love reading about relationships like that. I hope we continue to laugh as much as the two of you do.
February 8th, 2007 at 9:44 am, Tater and Tot Says:
Those are the things that make a good marriage!
February 8th, 2007 at 10:02 am, Wendy Says:
Does it count when you roll your eyes when you have heard the same joke or witty comeback a thousand times?
Although, I thought it was nice when my husband went to tell the server his same joke, but turned to wink at me first. I, also, think it is nice that I dont say anything about his jokes. I just let them roll.
My husband favorite not-leaving joke is that I will get a pay cut if I leave. I find it funny EVERY.SINGLE. TIME. I hear it.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:09 am, daysgoby Says:
Oh, you’re on your trial marriage too?
We also leave messages with people that the ‘Other Girlfriend’ or ‘Other Boyfriend’ called. (”Tell J his other girlfriend called.”)
Yeah, I know. We’re weird.
Lots about Wade recently! It’s sweet to see you so in love, Susan!
February 8th, 2007 at 10:19 am, An Iowa Mom Says:
Too funny! My hubby and I are exactly the same way. He’ll call and say he’s on his way home and I’ll act panicked and tell him I have to go so my boyfriend can get dressed and out of the house before he arrives. Little stuff like that … we both laugh and it’s fun because we SOOOO know on both ends that we’d never want to be anywhere than where we are right now.
I used to think we were a little odd doing things like that … but now I know we’re not alone!
February 8th, 2007 at 10:51 am, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
I love this, though our roles are reversed…my Hubs is always the one finding whatever it is I’ve lost. Takes two to tango. And to find stuff.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:54 am, Annika Says:
I think I will have to marry you next. Will can only find my glasses if I leave them by the sink or next to the bed.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:55 am, Jenorama Says:
That was very very sweet.
February 8th, 2007 at 10:58 am, Roola Lenska Says:
G often loses things in the house - usually his wallet or train ticket and 9 times out of 10 I’ll know exactly where it is. I’m a little in love with my husband right now as well. I was shopping for a Husband Valentine’s Day card yesterday and found myself blubbering in the card aisle. The other woman that was leisurely browsing when I got there quickly made her selection and moved away from me.
February 8th, 2007 at 11:24 am, Becky Says:
That is too funny. Hubby and I are similar. For years our running joke was hubby’s girlfriend “Rowena”. We went to a Burger King one day and there was a sweet, elderly lady named “Rowena”…omg we laughed for hours and still do when we think of it!
February 8th, 2007 at 12:41 pm, Melissa Says:
And on difficult days you can always HIDE his glasses, then find them for him. Just to remind him how wonderful you are.
What, I’m the only devious one around here?
February 8th, 2007 at 1:50 pm, MamaChristy Says:
Poor Wade! Couldn’t find his glasses because he didn’t have his glasses! Lucky he has you to look for them.
My husband and I have a similar relationship. Kate Winslet is his girlfriend and Leo and Jude are my boyfriends. I point out boob jobs and he comments on the ripped dude in the elevator. Tit for tat, so to speak.
February 8th, 2007 at 1:50 pm, Melissa Says:
What if he gets one of those chain thingies for around his neck?
Oh NO!
February 8th, 2007 at 1:57 pm, Susan Says:
Melissa has found the flaw in my plan.
February 8th, 2007 at 2:28 pm, chris Says:
Rob and I joke around about that too. I suppose the day I stop talkig about my next husband or his next wife, we will have to worry.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:10 pm, Mir Says:
That’s way more endearing than me telling Otto he’s stuck with me because no one else in the world would’ve waited 17 freaking years for him to make up his mind.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:14 pm, Mark Says:
Don’t let him get Lasik,
February 8th, 2007 at 3:40 pm, Cmommy Says:
You complete him.
February 8th, 2007 at 5:30 pm, Velma Says:
I have long maintained that the ability to crack each other up is the strongest relationship glue out there.
Lots of sex works, too, but frankly, cracking him up is way less work.
February 8th, 2007 at 8:46 pm, Her Bad Mother Says:
My husband can never leave me because he would never have clean underwear. Or socks.
February 8th, 2007 at 9:25 pm, Jordan Says:
Our friends always look at us like we’re nuts and proceed to squirm uncomfortably when my husband and I joke like this. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not taking crazy pills. I guess it’s hard for people who haven’t had real security to understand the twistedness that it brings.
February 9th, 2007 at 12:28 am, Jonathon Says:
it’s these kinds of stories that make all this long-term relationship stuff/marriage stuff make sense.
February 9th, 2007 at 9:41 am, Lorelai Says:
I was in a four year relationship with a man where we were the same way. We are both very sarcastic people and loved giving each other crap. It was the days when we didn’t give each other crap we would know something was wrong.
Although we did not work out I cherish my time I had with him and know that in my next relationship I hope to find someone whom I can be the same way with.
February 9th, 2007 at 8:45 pm, Jeanne Says:
Same kind of thing around here. When the phone rings and the person hangs up as soon we answer the phone it is always “oh, must’ve been your boyfriend/girlfriend and they didn’t want to talk to me.”
Or if he is late coming home I’ll harrass him and ask how the secret rendevous with ‘the girlfriend’ went.
It’s only because we know that it would never EVER happen that we can joke about it!