September 20, 2008
who says stuff won’t make you happy?
God you people are nice. As my husband would say, you’re nicer than Gandhi. (I think that’s from The Simpsons, maybe, from like ten years ago.)
I so appreciate all the thoughtful comments and emails, everything from yes yes I hear you! to actual constructive (and kind!) suggestions for finding happiness. And book recommendations, too — I’m a sucker for books and I will be checking out all the titles you all sent me.
Thank you.
I’m feeling a little bit like I have too much going on (I can hear you rolling your eyes over there, knock it off) and it has occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, that’s part of the problem (again, knock it off with the eye rolling). So I’m going to get rid of some stuff and see if that helps. Physical stuff, yes (I have a Give Away bag going in my closet again) but also less tangible stuff — I quit one of my jobs this past week, which is honestly nice, and I’m working on saying NO when people ask me to volunteer for things (holy hell that one is hard though).
Aside: Oprah did a show on saying no, or something like that, probably two years ago. She talked about how she says no to requests; she tells people that she needs to pray about whatever it is they are asking for, because this gives her time to think, instead of answering right away, when she’s more likely to say yes to something she can’t, or doesn’t want, to do. And then, she said, when she comes back and says no to the request, it’s hard for people to argue, because she prayed about it and Jesus said no.
Who can argue with Jesus? I think I’m going to start using that one. I think it will totally work in Oklahoma.
Amen.
Anyway, in the meantime, I’m looking for the happy in little things (hey I think you all suggested that …) and since I’m all about sharing, and I feel a little bad for possibly oversharing yesterday, here are a few things that are making me happy. Or happy-ish. Or not unhappy. Whatever.
JK Jemma Kidd Color-Adapt Lip Gloss. Custom lip color for $20.00! Woo! Use this as base for your regular gloss; it lasts longer and gives a more intense color. Yes I have over thought this, why do you ask?
J. Crew tailored wool Carrie dress. Arriving Tuesday. In two sizes, just in case. Now I need to plan a party, don’t you think, so I’ll have somewhere to wear the LBD. Or maybe I’ll just toss it on for carpool — why not?!?
The Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style. Advance copy! Also arranging an interview with Kim France. I have died and gone to Fashion Magazine Heaven.
Starbucks Banana Chocolate Vivanno. Because it’s healthy AND delicious, or at least more so than the mocha frappuchino that I used to get. And I believe this is the Official Beverage of Fashion Magazine Heaven.
Your turn — what stuff is making you happy(ish) these days? Humor me — clearly I need it.
The nice people at Starbucks made it possible for me to get hooked on the Vivanno by providing me with gift cards. Thanks a lot. No, really!
Posted by Susan @ 6:54 am • pretty things
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September 20th, 2008 at 9:02 am, Heather Says:
A fantastic sunset - We’ve been having them daily in VA for a week and sometimes you just need to stand on the front porch and drink it in.
My lab’s eyebrows. She’s a little bit dumb and cute as can be and she makes her eyebrows go up and down when she’s confused. It makes me laugh every time.
Mostly, I find “happy” to be undefinable, but there are times of true joy and times of true contentment. And I think when you just stop to appreciate those moments, they override the “ated” feelings you mentioned in your last post.
Lastly, as a simple “why not” suggestion… if you are going to go to all the trouble of using the “pray about it line” why not actually pray about it. You may be surprised at the results.
September 20th, 2008 at 9:46 am, blackbird Says:
We did a little practice run today.
I put on my working-girl skirt and fall coat and realized that I CAN hike up the skirt, throw my leg over the scooter, and hitch a ride to the station with my dear husband.
I’m pretty excited about it.
September 20th, 2008 at 9:47 am, Angella Says:
I missed sending you happy thoughts on your last post, but here I am!
I remember that episode about taking time to pray before answering…I just forget to put it in play most of the time.
Believe it or not, all of the canning I have been doing lately is making me happy. Seeing the jars lined up like little soldiers is rewarding
September 20th, 2008 at 10:15 am, Natalie Says:
What makes me happy these days?
My front flowerbed with no weeds (finally).
My goofy little dogs.
A good book.
Hearing my children laughing together. This doesn’t happen often now that they’re teens and have their own friends to hang out with, but when it does, it’s so great.
September 20th, 2008 at 10:58 am, slynnro Says:
People offering me blogging jobs so that I can earn J.Crew money!
September 20th, 2008 at 10:58 am, slynnro Says:
Oh, and I’m glad you got the dress. You are so tempting me…
September 20th, 2008 at 12:01 pm, Naomi in Ohio Says:
Oversharing? You got called out for oversharing?
Isn’t that what blogs like yours are for …. for the rest of us “public” who aren’t brave enough to tell it like it is?
I give you three cheers for saying it how it is … almost word for word … in MY house.
My current “happy factor” this week is pomegranate ice cream.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:40 pm, gorillabuns Says:
I haven’t been happy about anything for months so could I use the “I’m praying” phrase to get out of a family birthday party tonight?
Somehow I don’t think it will work and this will make me even more unhappy.
September 20th, 2008 at 3:57 pm, Little Read Hen Says:
This hat http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=24813&pid=578201&scid=578201012 that I bought for my daughter and some satin-ish pj pants that I scored at OldNavy for ten dollars, but could not find on their website.
Also, I made a haircut appointment for Wednesday and it is a much over due ‘do. I think I am going to use my Alone Day to go find some new jeans. I really hate all my jeans and it is fall in Southcentral Alaska and I have put the skirts and short AWAY already. Wish me luck… I too need a peep up. Also, I need all the people and all their Babies to go into seclusion for awhile so that I can leave the house without feeling wierd. Good luck! How’s the lipgloss?
September 20th, 2008 at 4:42 pm, Mary Says:
Walking outside in the cool morning air… having coffee on the back patio…watching the hummingbirds at the feeder…visiting with my daughter and her friends from high school… Philip Roth has a new book!!!
September 20th, 2008 at 5:04 pm, MJH Says:
Wine after kids are in bed, just me and the husband. I pretend that it’s actually just me and the husband. For an hour or two, we don’t really have kids, no one to think about but myself.
OK, when I admit that, it seems terrible and selfish. I do love my kids, but that hour of excusing myself from the reality helps!
September 20th, 2008 at 7:40 pm, Emily Says:
I didn’t comment on the last post (or read all the comments!) but have you heard of Gretchen Rubin’s happiness project? It’s here: http://www.happiness-project.com/ and I love it. I get such a sense of calm reading it and even though I don’t have my own happiness project really, it’s inspiring to read.
Another thing I did was start my own fake happiness project on flickr - every day I took a picture of something I love (a new pair of shoes, my Bodum tea pot, my day planner, a picture of me and my boyfriend) and wrote a little note about why it made me happy. It was simple and felt a little lame, but whatever! It’s nice to be happy!
September 20th, 2008 at 8:03 pm, EllenW Says:
I took a home pregnancy test today and it was positive! I’m enjoying the excitement before thinking about being pregnant with a toddler underfoot.
September 20th, 2008 at 9:04 pm, Chris H Says:
Happy =
Overhearing one of my students say “This is so much fun” about the lab part of our class.
Making coffee for my husband in the morning (I have tea) - I don’t know why really, but I’ve been doing it for several weeks now. Knowing how much he likes coming downstairs to a cup waiting for him, and not hassling with the grinder, etc., makes me happy. We sit, drink our morning cups and listen to NPR. And just for a brief time, before the onslaught of the day, there is peace and the possibilities for the day seem endless.
September 21st, 2008 at 10:36 am, mimbles Says:
Playing Sing Star for 5 hours straight with friends on Saturday night. Awesome fun. And now I have no voice LOL
Going for a walk with my dog and having conversations with complete strangers because our dogs NEED to say hello to each other.
Knowing that there are only 5 more days of the school term left and then the kids are off school for 2 weeks.
I find I’m mostly content, there are moments of unhappy and there’s a lot of just ok, but there are also times of true joyfulness. Moments which have me wanting to tell the world life is GOOD! And that’s enough
September 21st, 2008 at 3:05 pm, Mara Says:
Urgh, I am NOT a fan of the new Vivanos or whatever they’re called. I can taste the protein powder way too much. On the other hand I’m thrilled that it’s Pumpkin Spice Latte season again already. (What, you don’t measure seasons by Starbuck’s seasonal lattes?)
September 21st, 2008 at 9:34 pm, Shannon Says:
Excuse me while I go find the nearest Starbucks.
Um….I made a bunch of delicious homemade food for my family this weekend, with farmers’ market veggies and autumn apples, in leisure because my husband was playing with my toddlers all day, and they all fairly knocked each other over in their haste to eat it, oohing and aahing and thanking me, so that makes me happy.
I ran 5 miles on Saturday evening, and that makes me happy too.
What would really make me happy is a.) a way to make some money with a part-time, from-home job; b.) a graceful way to exit a volunteer position that has turned into a nightmare; c.) a paid-for plane ticket to visit my best friend in TX for a girls’ weekend.
In the meantime I’ll keep trying to appreciate the little happinesses.
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:56 am, jenB Says:
While we were in China *wink wink*, there were no bananachocolate Vivannos. I don’t know how I did it. None of the airport Starbucks even made them. I have had one pretty much everyday since they came out. TO be safe, I held up a barista for the close enough recipe.
and reading this made me happy.
September 22nd, 2008 at 4:02 pm, Shelly Says:
As I was reading this I got an email from Target with the subject: “Here comes happy.” And I have to say, Target frequently makes me happy.
Can I have the dress that doesn’t fit? You can wear yours to my husband’s 40th birthday party.
September 22nd, 2008 at 5:10 pm, Ilona Says:
- Mike’s Hard Lemonade. I’m on my second.
- I’ve invited a bunch of college and university students over for dinner. That’s always fun, and they do the dishes!
- My porch is FINALLY painted.
- My dog is over her … intestinal difficulties.
September 22nd, 2008 at 6:11 pm, Keri Says:
Any time I can help somebody else out I feel some happy. I know that I don’t have little ones tugging at me all of the time anymore and that makes a big difference on the amount of energy you have to help others… But giving them the gift of doing this is pretty huge too.
My current project of scanning in old family slides and negatives is making me happy. Seeing photos of my parents having parties (life just seemed so glamorous back then!) and their friends and siblings getting married… Beautiful. And it’s great to be able to preserve them for the future before they are destroyed.
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 am, ferrers locke Says:
the first drink of the day. I take time to savour it.
the smell of washing fresh off the line.
a hug from my niece. her laughter when I swing her round. the quiet when she goes home.
Thursday morning coffee with a friend.
sewing self-lined gift bags out of old shirts. they look so neat when they’re done.
September 23rd, 2008 at 11:45 am, karyn Says:
Well, the painkillers - broken ankles obliterate most happiness, but I don’t think you had narcotic-induced happiness in mind. So.
1. Cherry Chapstick.
2. Macintosh Apples - fresh and crispy and juicy and YUM, they taste like autumn.
3. Bill Bryson’s “Neither Here Nor There, Travels In Europe” because if I can’t go there at least I can read witty accounts from someone who has.
4. BBC America. I -heart- this network.
5. PennyTalk, which lets me talk to my dearest (if not nearest) people, on the cheap.
6. COOLER TEMPERATURES
7. SCHOOL! BACK! IN SESSION!
8. Project Runway
9. The fact that using a walker to hop and wheeling myself through major venues counts as cardio.
10. Trader Joe’s Shea Butter soap.
September 23rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm, Rebecca (Bearca) Says:
For me, happiness is watching my 3-year old and 7-month old laugh at each other, the knowledge that a J. Crew shipment is arriving today, and the new lip gloss I just got that was recommended by the internets.
Oh, and also the fact I am leaving for Hawaii in two weeks. First real vacation since 2005!
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm, MomsReality Says:
- i’ve been journaling so I can remember the things that are making me happy! (that helps especially when the day is crappy).
- Watching my son have fun with his friends; they crack me up
- Swedish fish (although last night I found that too many of these will just make you want to throw up)
- Janet Evanovich books will make me laugh out loud ( love the “mental eyerolls”
September 25th, 2008 at 12:05 pm, Kim Says:
Ok here, this made me laugh out loud and made me happy that my 3 year old thinks this way:
We were looking at photos of him when he was a baby and he said “Oh look, that’s Connor” and I said “No that’s you, when you were the baby.” And then he looked again then said “Oh yeah. I was wearing a different head.”
HA!
September 25th, 2008 at 12:29 pm, Sheri Bheri Says:
What makes me happy?
- that “I love the whole world” commercial on Discovery channel, I can play it on youtube, over and over again
- telling a funny joke and making OTHER people laugh
So here goes my favourite blond joke:
A ventriloquist is doing his show, and he starts off with a blond joke and just continues from there, he spends probably about 20 minutes doing blond joke after blond joke.
Well, finally a woman in the audience (we don’t need to mention her hair colour) stands up and says “What is your problem? Do you realize that you have spent the past 20 minutes, the ENTIRETY of your act, denigrating women. You’ve taken a group of women, and you’ve passed judgment on them, their personality and their intelligence based entirely on the colour of their hair follicles. Do you even realize how misogynistic your act is? And how insulting it is to ALL women?
So the guy turns beet red and starts to say “oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I never thought of it that way ….” and she looks at him and says “I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU! I’M TALKING TO THE LITTLE ONE!”
October 1st, 2008 at 10:51 am, Sarah Says:
I hate to be the sort of person who is a drive-by commenter, BUT obviously I don’t hate it enough to stop myself from leaving this comment. So hi, I’m at your website for the first time, I’ve only read a couple posts and know nothing about you, and I’m commenting.
This is why: I have a happy book.
Seriously, stop laughing, that’s what I call it. A few years ago, I was living abroad and missing my family and realized that I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t UNhappy, I just wasn’t actively happy.
I happened to have an empty journal at the time. I’d meant to chronicle my wild overseas adventures in it, but had totally failed at that, and I just started writing down things that made me happy. Sometimes I taped in a photograph or an image from a magazine and sometimes I wrote WHY something made me happy, or I wrote down a happy memory, etc.
Today, my happy book is almost full. Writing in the happy book doesn’t make me happy, but every now and then it is nice to take a peek when I’m not actively happy. I just open it to a random song and see a picture or read a memory and suddenly, I realize that I’m much happier than I thought.
Whatever you do, I hope it works and I hope you find your happy soon. There are few things more humbling than the realization that you’re going through the motions and letting something IMPORTANT elude you as a result.
And with that, with the best of well wishes, I’ll end this comment. Nobody likes to hear crazy talk from complete strangers, after all =)