May 7, 2007
"When Sophie outgrows Polly Pockets, I’ll go to AA. But not before."
On Saturday night, I went to a gone-away party for my friend Rebecca, who moved to the Bay Area in February. Her move was such a whirlwind that there was no time to pull together a party for her, so this weekend she and her husband came back to town and the girls in her Dinner Club wined and dined them.
And by “wined and dined” I mean that we drank margaritas and ate homemade guacamole and fajitas and talked about how our boobs are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what they used to be. Whatever.
I am still relishing how wonderful it was to sit with these girls and talk about plastic surgery and real estate and feminism and books. We laughed about how much we drink and talked seriously about how many women our age are being diagnosed with autoimmune diseases and how many others are on medication and in therapy, and we theorized why that might be and what the connections are. We talked about guilt and desire and where to buy a bra.
I will write about all of that later, perhaps, but what I want to tell you is this: the couple who hosted the party don’t have their air conditioning up and running yet, and so they had all the doors and windows open because it was in the 80s here on Saturday. Their children were in the bedroom watching TV while we all sat on the patio and drank margaritas. Lots of margaritas. That’s important to the story, by the way.
Anyway, we’re drinking our margaritas and talking about Really Important Stuff (like our boobs and how smaaaaaaaal they are) when the kids start screaming. They’re yelling something about a frog, so we all wander in to see what’s going on.
And there in the master bedroom is the biggest frog EVER. Honest to god, it was the size of a small dog. I wish I had pictures because you would be totally freaked out. I’m freaked out just THINKING about it.
The frog hopped under the bed, and then came out from under the bed and hopped down the hall. Every time it hit the floor we could hear it’s gigantic feet flopping against the hardwood. That is, if you could hear anything over the screaming. No, not the kids, the women. My friend Christa said, “I’m not usually such a girl, but that thing is disgusting.”
Eventually, the men caught it (after they lifted up the sofa to fish it out) and they chased us around the room with it for a minute (because even when they have graduate degrees and luxury cars and businesses of their own they’re still little boys) and then they put it outside. And we all stopped screaming and had another margarita.
It was, really, the perfect evening.
The title of this post is one of the two funniest things anyone said all night long. The other was Christa telling me repeatedly that I can NEVER MOVE AWAY or she will KILL ME, which she repeated the next morning when I went to fetch my car from her driveway. And I promised that I would never leave Oklahoma City, ever. Really.
Posted by Susan @ 12:34 pm • Uncategorized
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May 7th, 2007 at 2:28 pm, wordgirl Says:
Why, Why WHY didn’t you have a camera? Isn’t that in the Blogger handbook or something? And where on earth did that thing come from?
May 7th, 2007 at 3:14 pm, Karly Says:
This makes me want to schedule a girls’ night. Sounds like you had tons of fun!
May 7th, 2007 at 3:18 pm, elise Says:
That does sound like a perfectly, wonderfully, tequilla-drenched evening.
Isn’t it nice (sometimes) to live in parts of the country where you can just leave the doors and windows open all night long and the worst thing that happens is a frog hopping in? I like that.
May 7th, 2007 at 3:20 pm, Susan Says:
Elise, I forgot to mention that Angie’s cat was recently eaten by a coyote. Who apparently came up on the porch to get him.
But no coyotes came in the house that night. Thank god.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:05 pm, Kelli in the Mirror Says:
I had an episode slightly similar to that last night except it involved a slug the size of a garden hose and NO margaritas to dull the pain. I didn’t think I was such a girl either but I couldn’t stop screaming and jumping up and down.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:11 pm, Susan Says:
Eeeeeew slug! Gross!
And yes, I am a girl. And now I really want a margarita.
Gross.
May 7th, 2007 at 4:16 pm, Wendy Says:
My friend Christa said, “I’m not usually such a girl, but that thing is disgusting.”
I think the way I imagined someone saying this made me laugh. Also, the guys chasing the women around with the frog. I can relate with anything from the outside coming in.
LOL!!!
May 7th, 2007 at 6:58 pm, Mark Says:
The joys of Lake Hefner!
We saw an opossum as big as medium sized dog a couple of weeks ago in the back yard. Our brave dog refused to leave the house.
May 7th, 2007 at 7:02 pm, Susan Says:
Mark, we were actually some place east of I 35 (I was not driving, because I had partaken of a tall icy drink consisting primarily of vodka before we set out and thus was also not paying much attention to where we were going).
I had NO IDEA there were COYOTES inside the city limits. Never mind frogs the size of newborn human babies.
Oh god now I need ANOTHER drink.
May 7th, 2007 at 9:16 pm, Mark Says:
That area is pretty wild, from Forest Park up to the Turner Turnpike and North,
I took a scout troop camping at 63rd and Sooner about 10 years ago.
Lots of open fields
May 8th, 2007 at 1:20 am, Val Says:
Temps in the 80’s and cuddly frogs??? Niiice.
It’s 45 here and the bears are coming out… and they’re hungry.
May 8th, 2007 at 7:04 am, chris Says:
Almost makes me want to move to OK. Almost…
May 8th, 2007 at 7:30 am, Debra Says:
Love the sounds of your party!! Our Monday Night do’s rarely let me participate in the alcohol (driving), but we do have fun!!
I could explain some of the therapy and such.. but why ruin a great buzz??
Pass the tequila.
May 8th, 2007 at 9:11 am, Jen Says:
Susan, that’s called FORESHADOWING.
You are now destined to leave.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:08 pm, Jessica Says:
I need a girls night out. I also need a HUGE drink. LOL