March 21, 2010
unplugged
Recently, my alarm clock died. I knocked it off the nightstand one morning trying to hit the snooze button; it fell under the bed and shattered. And even though I go to Target every 72 hours, I couldn’t seem to remember to pick up a new clock, so instead I was using my iPhone as an alarm.
That was a terrible idea.
I would get into bed at night and check Twitter; I would Google things as they occurred to me. And all night long, I would hear the ping of incoming email and text messages, and the chime of eBay auctions ending.
It was driving me crazy.
Drink wine; find silence.
A couple of weeks ago, I bought a new alarm clock, the old school kind with an analog face and no snooze option. I love it; its presence on my nightstand is soothing and comforting, because all it does it tell me the time and wake me at 5:00 am. At night now I get into bed and I read, and if I find myself wondering about something, I write a little note to myself, a reminder to look it up in the morning.
I’m sleeping much better.
Last week, I read about the National Day of Unplugging, and I was intrigued. And then I read the Sabbath Manifesto and I was hooked: “The Sabbath Manifesto is a creative project designed to slow down lives in an increasingly hectic world.” This slowing down includes finding ways to connect with family and friends, with ourselves, and with the world. I need all of those things.
Light candles.
On Friday afternoon, I sent one last email, and then I logged out of our desktop computer. I turned off my laptop and put it away. I shut off all my iPhone notifications — Twitter and Facebook and eBay — and turned off my email. I set my phone to vibrate and tucked it away in my handbag.
And then, since the kids were outside playing, I poured a glass of wine and read this month’s Real Simple, from cover to cover. It was truly delightful.
I make my living on the Internet, and I am perpetually grateful for the opportunity to do something that engages my heart and soul and mind, every single day; I love social media, both because I am fascinated by the way it is evolving, moment by moment, at nearly the speed of light, and because of the myriad ways in which it connects me to people I would otherwise never get to interact with. And the combination of intellectual engagement and inspiring community makes me a smarter, better person, every single day.
But I also love my family, deeply and broadly, and having two entire days of being fully in their presence — because I am just now checking in with my wired world, a full 48 hours after I unplugged – has been relaxing and rejuvenating and inspiring in ways I never expected.
Eat bread; connect with loved ones.
My family did not totally unplug this weekend; we watched college basketball (Northern Iowa, OMG!) and movies (the second installment of “The Lord of the Rings”) together, and the boys played video games and listened to music in the playroom. We didn’t do anything unusual, in fact, just our normal weekend routine of sleeping late and cleaning house and going out for lunch on Saturday. But without the distraction of the Internet, it was a completely different weekend for me. And it made me think about other times and other ways that I could — that I can — unplug.
This weekend, I thought about work, but not in the usual panicked way that I tend to; instead of feeling like I really should be writing and not doing whatever I am doing right now, at this particular moment, I have spent two days giving myself permission to do this and only this — whatever “this” happened to be in that specific moment. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I watched a movie — or a basketball game — without my laptop and my phone balanced on the sofa with me. Instead, this weekend, I snuggled a child under my arm, or held my husband’s hand. Delightful.
How do you unplug? Could you go a day — or two — without Facebook and Twitter? What do you gain from plugging in — and what could you get from shutting down?
Posted by Susan @ 6:05 pm • everyday life
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March 21st, 2010 at 6:51 pm, Hollee Temple Says:
I don’t make my living on the Internet, but I feel its constant tug. When I first started to blog and got roped into Twitter, I wasn’t that immersed. But then I got into the conversations and blogstats and the whole thing … (even though we don’t currently have an ads on our site) …. it just started to drive me crazy.
After awhile, I found a way to make it work. I check periodically throughout the day, but I don’t keep those windows open when I’m trying to be productive otherwise. For now, I’m holding out against having a phone that connects to Facebook and Twitter — I don’t yet trust myself to keep it all under control. The joy and pain of technology. I guess it’s all about finding the right balance.
March 21st, 2010 at 7:12 pm, Amy --- Just A Titch Says:
The more I blog and tweet and FB and spend time online, the more I realize how it absolutely petrifies me to spend time offline. I really love this idea, though, and your post definitely got me thinking about what I gain from being online and what I could gain from being offline. I think I might give it a try. Thanks for the inspiration.
March 21st, 2010 at 7:44 pm, Deb Says:
Honey, you know your wine, you know that glass should not contain white wine. I just wanted to point that out in case it was some sort of trick question on this post.
I have owned 1 (one) alarm clock in my entire life, gifted to me when I was 11 years old (I’m 36) by my aunt. I still own it, but I use my Blackberry as my alarm. I bet your phone has an option, too, where you can turn all sounds off except the alarm.
March 21st, 2010 at 7:59 pm, MarathonMom Says:
Gosh I could do that except my besties and I commune via txt or cell only. I don’t think they know my dinosaur number.
But using my Bberry as an alarm didn’t work much for me either. I ended up buying another dream machine. At least I can see it in the middle of the night!
March 21st, 2010 at 8:06 pm, sarah Says:
Good for you! Great inspiration! We are on spring break…which for us isn’t much different since he just doesn’t have preschool all week. But I am going to be very mindful of my time with both boys this week. We will choose wisely how we spend our time together - and for me I will be more mindful of my plugged and unplugged time! Great post!
March 21st, 2010 at 8:38 pm, Alyssa Says:
btw, if you put your phone on airplane mode you can still use the alarm.
March 21st, 2010 at 8:41 pm, Jamie Says:
Last week was my 2nd grader’s spring break. We didn’t go on a true vacation, but the girls stayed with my inlaws for a few nights, we had a special “girls’ only” outing Thursday (hair cuts!) and Friday the four of us went to Opryland Hotel here in Nashville to enjoy the day and eat lunch. As we were pulling out of the drive I realized I’d left my iPhone at home and decided to forego it for a few hours. I thought I might cave but it was nice to not be constantly checking work and blog e-mail, even if for just five hours. Yeah I’m pathetic.
I rarely blog on Sundays in an effort to unplug, but as you can see I’m reading blogs tonight.
March 21st, 2010 at 10:35 pm, Stacia Says:
Still working on this, and still don’t have a good answer. Maybe the arrival of my third child in a few weeks will “help” me find some solutions. As in, let’s sleep, not blog. =>
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:08 am, Janine Says:
I’m trying to unplug more, especially on the weekends. I turn my blackberry off about an hour before I want to go to bed, so I can read and relax without the constant buzzing and beeping. It’s a bit easier for me to step away from the gadgets during the warmer months because there are so many things I want to do outside.
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:39 am, Lori Says:
Thank you so much for sharing this! I often talk about unplugging for the day or the weekend, but it never happens. If I ever could unplug, I’d hopefully spend the time reading and cooking a wonderfully delicious meal, just for me. Thanks again for the inspiration!
March 22nd, 2010 at 8:28 am, andrea p. Says:
What a great idea! I also feel tied to everything “plugged in” and wish I weren’t at times. Life was much more relaxed when I wasn’t tied to my cell phone or computer. I used to actually go to the store and nobody could reach me until I got home to my “landline”. Little did I know then that I would miss that escape.
Just an aside — I’m a Northern Iowa alum. Go Panthers!
March 22nd, 2010 at 8:36 am, Shannon Says:
Congrats, Susan! I think that is a great idea, and I love that you did it and wrote about it. We could probably all benefit from a similar experiment.
March 22nd, 2010 at 9:18 am, Kristen Says:
When I went on vacation last month, I realized that I *could* turn my phone completely off and not check email or Twitter or Facebook and, for one thing, the internet wouldn’t die. Also, I wouldn’t die. It was a revelation.
I’m making more of an effort to incorporate this into every day. I don’t have the volume on my phone turned up as loud — if I’m right there, I hear it, but it doesn’t jar me from the other room. If I’m not actively doing something that needs doing on my laptop at night, I close it and put it away. And on the weekend, I don’t look at work emails — I know they’ll be there on Monday. And when I take a day OFF, I’m really going to take it OFF, and offline.
March 22nd, 2010 at 11:27 am, Hip Hip Gin Gin Says:
We are definitely doing an off day on Saturdays (already talked about it) when my husband finishes his masters this summer. For right now he needs to be on the laptop writing and I need the internet to prevent me from bugging him while he works.
But this Saturday we did a sort of half day unplugged since it was so nice outside, went to a little hidden garden in town and ate lunch, watched planes go by overhead, and just sat.
It was the best day ever! I can’t wait until every weekend includes a day like that.
March 22nd, 2010 at 11:53 am, Drew Says:
I unplug in the shower. Being the mother of a 9 month old makes the daily showers with the door closed and someone else watching her the ideal time for unplugging. And we unplug when on vacation. We bring phones, but no computers and no turning on the tv should there be one where we are vacationing. But I like the idea of unplugging everyday life a little more.
March 22nd, 2010 at 12:38 pm, SoMo Says:
I canceled my Twitter account Saturday because of what someone said, which was really stupid. My daughter had a gymnastic competition on Sunday and my phone remained safely tucked away (except when I had to take a picture, because I still forgot my camera, doh!), because why would I need to check it. I got to watch every second of her gymnastic competition without worrying about what someone said on the Internet.
When we got home I sighed up again and felt shame. Although, I have decided that I can turn it off and on when I want. It doesn’t have to be a cracked out monkey jumping up and down on my shoulder. I mean I do need something to occupy me when I am eternally waiting at my children activities. *sigh*
March 22nd, 2010 at 1:36 pm, Sheila Says:
I could live without social media (although sometimes I think life wouldn’t be as rich without the voices of people I follow), but what I could NOT do without is a snooze button! How does ANYONE get out of bed at the first beep?!?
Interesting article here on college kids who have never known life without YouTube or Google being asked to unplug as an assignment in a social media class: http://bit.ly/afofLx
March 22nd, 2010 at 3:01 pm, stacyfrPgh Says:
Our book club had a discussion about this. Our leader mentioned that she feels sorry for the children in strollers and at the park where instead of Mommy watching activities and pointing out things on a walk, Mommy is always yakking on phone. I work at home through the internet and just this morning, I vowed I would spend less time surfing and socializing because it was costing me way too much time of my valuable life.
March 22nd, 2010 at 3:27 pm, Danielle Walker Says:
Last week I was on a health-imposed hiatus from Twitter, Facebook, work - OMG, WORK - that simply did wonders for me. Yes, it was mind-boggling when I finally did plug the laptop in, but Tuesday through Sunday I was more relaxed than I’d been in a LONG time. It was nice. And now that I’m back at, I’m reminding myself to take it slow and to relish the little things in life. Things that aren’t typically tethered with an electrical cord or a wireless connection.
March 22nd, 2010 at 4:59 pm, Iowamom Says:
I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented before but I read your blog daily! I stay at home so I can log on and off quickly, just to check email and basic weather/school stuff. I don’t use Twitter, just Facebook, and find it boring after about 5 minutes. My husband must always be connected for work so unplugging for him is a treat. I’m just not that devoted to my technology, only if Jcrew is having an awesome sale!
My husband is a University of Northern Iowa alumni so these last two basketball games have been so exciting!
March 22nd, 2010 at 7:39 pm, Annette Says:
Ditto what someone mentioned above about feeling sorry for those kids whose moms are on the phone, too busy for the kids. I witnessed this last week taking my youngest to the pediatrician’s office. Several parents were on their iphones, checking who knows what, holding their sick, crying kids in their laps, not paying any attention to them. The only time the phone was put away was when the nurse called them. That old saying applies in this situation … no one died wishing they’d spent more time at the office (or on their iphone/social media).
March 22nd, 2010 at 9:38 pm, Pamela Says:
So interesting, because I was considering a similar post. I had several busy days preceeding Lent and was rarely on the internet. I found myself to be in a more peaceful spot, not constantly checking to see what so and so was up to on Facebook or if whats-her-name was Best Dressed at the Oscars. I decided to severely limit my time on the internet for the duration of Lent. I know, such a 21st century sacrifice.
I’ll tell you, it has been good. But two days ago our daughter was sent to Children’s Hospital with pneumonia and severe asthma. After she got stabilized one of the first things I did was get on Facebook. Social networking can be a wonderful way to spread the word about what is happening in your life quickly and succinctly. In this case I kept everyone up-to-date through several posts. And now I’m closing out my guilty pleasure of reading just a couple of blogs a day. You, of course, will always make the cut.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:13 am, Sue @ Laundry for Six Says:
I did this for 3 days awhile back and at the time, I SWORE I would do it once a month, but I haven’t. It IS hard when so much of my communication, even with IRL friends is online. No one calls on the phone anymore.
I would like to unplug from the time the kids come home from school until the time they go to bed because those are some stressful hours and I find myself seeking refuge online, when I should be setting a better example and being more present.
March 23rd, 2010 at 5:47 pm, The Coffee Lady Says:
I’m not actually here, you know. I’m sitting in a candlelit room, reading a novel.