July 23, 2009
two cool
Last summer, my boys finally crossed that line where they are able to swim proficiently enough that I no longer spent every moment at the pool worried that someone was going to drown. This summer, I’ve actually been able to sit in the shade and read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies or Vogue or something equally important and weighty while the boys jump off the diving board 11 million times. It’s perfect.
But sometimes it’s still fun to sit on the edge of the pool and talk to them while they flop around in the water. Last week, they were doing underwater somersaults; Charlie can do three backwards, without taking a breath, while Henry can do a dozen, all in a row. But while Charlie curls himself into a little fetal ball and holds his breath, Henry stretches out in an arc, and every time his head comes to the top, he takes a big gulp of air and then goes over backward toward the bottom again.
It’s funny to me how different my kids are, for boys, raised in the same house, with the same rules. Charlie has a big, outgoing personality, the kind that draws other children to him; I can already see what he will be like in five years, or ten, with a a tight group of friends, all boys, and a looser group of kids who like him and want to hang out with him and a constant stream of girls who have crushes on him. He comes home from school and camp full of gossip and stories about what he did with his buddies, what games they played and who said what funny thing and how hard they laughed.
Henry isn’t like that; he lives more in his own head. But Henry thinks about the world in such an interesting way, like figuring out that if he breathes every time he passes the surface of the water, he can do more back flips. He thinks less about the details of social interaction and more about the big concepts of the world. He asks about things like how big the universe is and how hot the sun is, and then muses about how long it might take to fly a Lego spaceship to another galaxy and how fast the ship would have to travel.
Charlie is the classic definition of cool; he’s hip and fun and right there in the middle of whatever exciting thing is going on. But Henry is another kind of cool, this brainy, engaging kid who can describe, in minute detail, every aspect of a video game that he played for fifteen minutes, once, three months ago.
I love the way my kids balance each other out; I love that Charlie’s social cool and Henry’s brainy cool can coexist in our house. I love that they both want to be more like the other, that they study and imitate each other. At the pool last week, I watched them flipping over and over, counting their somersaults, doing the same thing in totally different ways and thought, I have two super cool kids.
Posted by Susan @ 9:34 am • Henry&Charlie
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July 23rd, 2009 at 10:34 am, Sue @ My Party of 6 Says:
I have two of each and my boys are like Henry and my girls are like Charlie. And the younger of each set is like a lighter, easier version of the older one. (Or maybe I have gotten better at this job?)
It has been the most fascinating thing to watch their personalities develop. I had so many fears about my intense, intoverted oldest, but he too is a really cool kid.
Great post!
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 am, Annika Says:
I love the way you write about your boys. Don’t tell, but I hope this baby is a boy, too, so Sam has a cohort the way Henry and Charlie have each other.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:07 am, Tiffany Says:
“a loser group of kids who like him and want to hang out with him”–this sentence made me cringe. I’m a mom with a son that has Asperger’s and struggles greatly with making friends and sheds many tears over this–are these the losers you are referring too? I hope mothers with children like Charlie will encourage them to include those “loser kids” NOT to exclude them. Sorry, just hit a sore spot with me.
July 23rd, 2009 at 11:29 am, Mary Says:
I’m sure Susan didn’t mean “loser”. She referred to a “tight” group of friends and then this “looser” group…friends who are in your social circle but not your BFFs.
Susan says: Mary is right; that was a horrible typo. Tiffany, I’m so sorry — I didn’t mean to insult anyone. Typo is fixed now.
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm, Cara Says:
Its such a pleasure to read a Mom who enjoys her kids the way you do your boys.
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm, Shannon Says:
Is it really true? That one day children can actually play in the pool without being attached to one’s hip? It seems impossible.
(Oh and by the way: my girls are much like your boys; Julia, my older, is brainy and intense and detail-oriented and curious; Genevieve, my baby, is sillier, more fast-and-loose, just a different personality altogether. Is IS fascinating, isn’t it? But I’m still stuck on the in-the-pool-alone part.)
July 23rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm, Shannon Says:
Susan–
Thought you might like to know:
http://mamainwonderland.blogspot.com/2009/07/pastthe-future.html
~Shannon
July 23rd, 2009 at 4:48 pm, Deb Says:
My 2 girls are 4 and 6 and as opposite as can be (as my husband and I are complete opposites and provided quite an array of possible traits to have LOL). From very early on I noticed a great benefit of this situation - they really met in the middle a lot and help the other find a balance. My older one is always described as “good” (i hate that word) because she is easy going like her dad, generous with friends, empathetic and loving and polite. to a FAULT. it only took 6 months with baby sister around (who is a hyper, take action, daredevil) for dd1 to finally stand her ground at the playground and take her rightful turns… She gained strength and confidence from her sister’s example. She has taught her baby sister how to stick with a task longer and be more generous of spirit.
It drives me crazy when they always choose the opposite things to like to eat, but i love how their opposites complement each other. Just like opposites attract for love, it can be a great thing for siblings when nurtured as a positive. Your boys always sound so sweet and funny and I love reading about them growing up(so fast it seems).
July 24th, 2009 at 12:41 am, Lauren Says:
This post made me smile
Every parent should be able to describe how super cool her kids are.
My 3-yr-old is astronaut cool because she likes to know how everything works and she can spin for two full minutes without getting dizzy and falling over. My 1-yr-old is celebrity cool because he flirts with everyone all the time and he always enters a room with his arms held out as if to say, “Here I am! Start the party!”
July 24th, 2009 at 1:01 pm, usafinks Says:
you just described my boys!
oldest…my acdedemic,happily a home body
youngest…makes friends almost too easily, always getting invited to everything…never met a sport he didn’t like
they are now 13 and 11 and are very close!
I wonder if it is because they never really compete at anything…they coexist beautifully. it has been great to watch them grow!
July 24th, 2009 at 5:28 pm, Suzanne Says:
Even though it so much of their personalities seem to be there at birth, isn’t it interesting how common it is to have the older, more serious child and the younger more gregarious child. Because that’s how my two boys, 13 and 10, are as well.