January 16, 2006
this just about covers everything
My goodness, I have so! much! to! tell! you all, and it all requires multiple! exclamation!! points!!! For no good reason!
The End of Enforced Rest Time
Thanks to all of you who offered suggestions and moral support. Our experiment with ending Enforced Rest Time has been a mixed bag. On Friday morning, I told Charlie, ‘Today, after lunch, how about we go to the bookstore and play?’
He said, ‘Are we going to rest?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘not after lunch. We’ll eat and then go to the bookstore and then later, we’ll have some quiet time before Clifford comes on.’ (See–I’m using BOTH independent play AND television! Just like you all suggested! Hooray for me!)
‘Why are’t we going to rest?’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘you don’t really rest, do you?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I jump on the bed!’ Then he thought for a moment and asked, ‘Can we get a cookie at the bookstore?’
And because I am not above bribing my children with sugary treats, I said, ‘Of course!’
So Charlie was on board. Henry, however, was a completely different story. When I pitched the bookstore idea to him in the car on the way home from school (including the cookie, to give it more weight), he started to sob. ‘No no no, we HAVE to rest!’
‘It’s okay, buddy,’ I said VERY CALMLY (like EXTRA very very calmly). ‘If you’re tired, you can have a rest.’
Charlie piped up. ‘But I’m not having a rest, right? Because I don’t rest, I just jump on the bed!’ He’s so helpful, that one.
Henry continued to wail. ‘No, EVERYONE has to rest! Otherwise, if anyone comes to our house, how will they know it’s us?’ I’m sure I must have mentioned that one of his quirkynesses is a tendancy to lose track of reality. Yes? Yes! He cried the ENTIRE way home from school (about a twelve minute drive); when we came in the house, he laid on the floor in the kitchen and cried until his lunch was ready. Then he kept insisting, ‘I AM GOING TO REST.’ So, a good start!
In the end, he did NOT rest because he realized that Charlie wasn’t going to, and we played in the yard for an hour and went to the bank and stopped at the bookstore (and, yes, had a cookie–although I was wishing for a martini by then). Change is hard for Henry, and consequently for the rest of us. But we’re forging ahead! Or something. And we’re not resting! Although we are having quiet time from 3:00-4:00, just to keep Mommy out of the sanitarium.
What I’m Really Reading
Lucinda e-mailed me the other day (the best BEST part of this whole BoB thing is the nice nice people I’m meeting, like Lucinda and Kathryn–go read their blogs, but VOTE FOR ME, which you can do ONCE A DAY until the voting ends, not that I care or anything)–anyway, Lucinda e-mailed me the other day and said that she, too, is reading The Other Boleyn Girl and how did I like it?
And I e-mailed her back: ‘Honestly? I don’t.’ Really, I’m trying, but I just don’t like it! I’m reading it for my book group, so I feel bound to finish it, particularly if I’m going to show up in two weeks and blah blah blah on about how much I hated it, but gah! I’ve read 191 pages (leaving me a mere 470 to go!) and I could care less what happens to any of the characters. I’m actually starting to HOPE that the narrator will be executed because she is so very annoying. Have I mentioned that one of my flaws as a reader is a tendancy to get over-involved in the narrative? Maybe that’s where Henry gets it . . . huh.
Anyway, I think my real problem is not so much with this novel (although I do think it’s just TERRIBLE) but with the other things I’ve been reading when I should be reading for the book group, which have been one absolutely magnificent book after another. So for your reading pleasure, here are All The Good Books I Have Read Since Christmas and Why I Loved Them.
The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd
This is a beautifully written coming of age story set in South Carolina in 1964. The protagonist, fourteen-year-old Lilly Owens, runs away from home with her nanny, Rosaleen, after the older black woman is arrested for assaulting three racist white men. They travel to Tiburon, South Carolina, and are taken in by three black bee-keeping sisters who hold the secret to Lilly’s mother’s mysterious death ten years earlier.
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Ishiguro is most famous for The Remains of the Day (another novel I love). This is similar in structure (the narrator, Kathy, is looking back at her life) but entirely different in its plot. Set in England in the late 1990s, Never Let Me Go is a haunting exploration of the ethics of eugenics and cloning. In light of the recent Senate debates about abortion surrounding Samuel Alito’s confirmation hearings, this is a timely–and frankly disturbing–read.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Christopher, a fifteen-year-old boy with Asperger’s syndrome, looks out his window one night and sees his neighbor’s poodle dead in the yard. He decides to solve the mystery of the dog’s death, but this heart-wrenching novel’s greatest success is in the way it shows the reader the mystery of the autistic mind. As the parent of a quirky kid, I found this novel so very moving; when Christopher talks about his inability to recognize nonverbal language cues, I cried. Read it now.
Okay, I think that just about covers it. And look! It’s almost time for cocktails! How perfect!
Posted by Susan @ 4:27 pm • Uncategorized
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January 16th, 2006 at 4:36 pm, Jenorama Says:
Oh my gosh, this entry just about killed me, I was laughing so hard.
I do need to tell you about this stories thing they do with Austistic kids that I have used with my non-Autistic children.
You write a little story about people in the situation which you are trying to encourage (moving from enforced rest time to non-enforced rest time) and how a little boy in THAT family was worried that nobody would recognize them anymore until the grandmother came over and recognized them because of something about them that was still the same! And she said that EVERYBODY has a day when they stop having rest time, and it is hard for everybody, but it is VERY NORMAL, and everybody adjusts to it with time.
Believe it or not, these stories really do work. Type up a story, add pictures with clip art or ye old internet, print it all out, staple it like a book, and read it to him.
Let me know if it works, if you decide to do it.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:03 pm, mom on a wire Says:
The Secret Life of Bees is one of my all-time favs. Loved it SO much.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:04 pm, Penny Pressed Says:
Congrats to you for not breaking out the martinis earlier. (The day we do away with naptime is the day I officially become a functioning (or not) alcoholic.) And! Oh! I have had The Other Boleyn Girl on my bedside table for (two? three?) months now but haven’t started it. Should I not open it? It’s a loner from a preschool mom, so I feel obligated to read it … eventually.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:21 pm, Susan Says:
Penny, I have Birth of Venus next to my bed–same scenario (loaned to me by lovely friend who HIGHLY recommended it, but no dice–I couldn’t get into it, either). And the guilt! Oy, the guilt.
I say go with Secret Life of Bees, if only because it’s shorter. Oh, and BETTER WRITTEN.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:53 pm, Joel s Says:
Oh goodness, be glad you HAD nap time, at one point. My youngest sister has never liked sleeping more than 5 hours a night. Since she was a baby, bed time at 11, up before dawn. That’s it. If she has a nap, she’ll sneak downstairs and harass me until I goto bed.
If you want a nice short book to make up for a cruddy one, I suggest “All families are psychotic” by Douglas Coupland. It’s so delightfully dark and hilarious.
January 16th, 2006 at 8:37 pm, ieatcrayonz Says:
So glad to hear you made it there and back. You go, Baby Andrew, you keep fighting your way out of that NICU. And then ask your mom to make you a blog, so we can read all about your adventures.
I LOVE the Secret Life of Bees and I have the Mark Haddon book on hold at the library. How weird is that?
Right now I’ve got “Freakonomics” and “The Kite Runner” on my nightstand.
January 16th, 2006 at 8:42 pm, MamaChristy Says:
Good Gawd! That was quite a post. Thanks for the book ideas. You’re right; The Secret Life of Bees was so good! I loved it! I’ve heard that The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kid isn’t quite as good, but still worth a read.
January 16th, 2006 at 8:49 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
I am embarrased that I have had the Secret Life of Bees for, oh, two years and I have yet to open it. I am on page 40 or so of the Kite Runner and put it down two weeks ago. Instead, I just read The Devil Wears Prada and am currently sinking my teeth into Blowing My Cover My Life as a CIA Spy. In addition, I have the Alienist and The Man in the Basement collecting dust on my nightstand. I am on a fluff-book streak currently. Someone shoot me if I start reading Harlequin Romances.
Glad your nephew is getting stronger!
January 16th, 2006 at 9:04 pm, Susie Says:
So glas to hear your nehpew is better. And I also sing enthusiastically off-key. Liam’s first “no” was to me singing. I loved Secret Life od Bees. And I’m having a hard time with Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking.
January 16th, 2006 at 9:11 pm, Susan Says:
Okay, here’s my So You Don’t Really Want to Think recommendation: when I was in graduate school, I shared an office with Jennifer Crusie. Jenny writes romance novels–really good, steamy ones, with literary references and fun plots. She’s smart and wicked funny, both in person and on paper. When I go on vacation, I take one of her novels.
Step away from the Joan Didion and get yourself a copy of Charlie All Night (or anything else she’s written).
That is all.
January 16th, 2006 at 9:37 pm, Kristen Says:
Oh man. Henry with the crying about the rest time, the insistence that things MUST. STAY. THE. SAME. OR. ELSE. That sounds so much like Bryce it’s scary.
I also loved the Secret Life of Bees, and I’m actually shocked that I’ve even read it because every time I see a list of recommended books, I just feel like a huge slug for never making the time to read anymore. What kind of former English major am I, anyway?
Oh, and I loved Freakonomics, whoever mentioned that one. The author is from the school where I got my degree, so I am biased, I’m sure. Such a great read, though.
I’m so glad that Andrew’s doing so well!
January 16th, 2006 at 10:16 pm, The Daring One Says:
I just bought The Other Boleyn Girl at at garage sale but I haven’t read it yet. Good thing I only spent 50 cents on it.
You rest time experience, cookie and all are hilarious and way too familiar. Do you know they give out free cookies in most grocery store bakeries?
You sound like someone who already knows that.
I wish I just got back from Houston.
January 17th, 2006 at 5:17 am, llama Says:
How in the world have you read 3 books since Christmas??
January 17th, 2006 at 7:33 am, Kara Says:
Yay for your nephew, yay for Henry, Charlie, Baby Football,the pretty headboard (my kiddo has the same flowers wrapped around her curtain rods), the voting, all those BOOKS, and YOU!
Just so you know, I liked the Boleyn Girl (I like Phillipa Gregory in general, strange, but whatever), Secret life of bees- not so much,(but that’s only becase I can’t get through a book about girls and their mothers and healing and shit), and Curious Incident? WOW. AMAZING. incredibly well written. I’m off to the library for that one I haven’t read!
January 17th, 2006 at 8:40 am, Felicity Says:
This is a super long entry so I’m stopping mid-way thru to comment. About the headboard lights. The last time I let Pippy go spend time with her dad, I redecorated her room. I bought one of those tulle bed curtains (you know what I mean, right?) and attached tiny flower lights to it.
She outgrew the entire thing in about one second.
Before my own bedroom was usurped by MM’s GM, I had littel white XM lights entwined in the canopy frame of my bed. So there’s a way to get Wade on board. Tell him it’s sexy.
January 17th, 2006 at 8:45 am, Felicity Says:
Oh and I am also very happy about Baby Andrew. But I knew he would be awesome.
January 17th, 2006 at 9:21 am, Meegs Says:
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime should be required reading for all people who may ever encounter someone who is different then themselves (um, aka. everyone). It is touching and moving and deeply satisfying.
Just had to share my agreement!
January 17th, 2006 at 12:21 pm, Candace Says:
Heavens to Betsy, that’s a lot of post. But good, don’t get me wrong.
TCIOTDITN (hee hee) is an incredible book. I haven’t read the others, but will request them from the library.
My most recent book debacle involved one of my Christmas gifts from Mr. Foot, A Confederacy Of Dunces. I hate it. I loathe it. I have never not liked a book, so it’s disturbing me that I hate this one so. I got 45 pages in and I’m not sure I’ll finish it. Poor Mr. Foot feels so badly that I don’t like it.
January 17th, 2006 at 1:47 pm, Mary P. Says:
It’s ironic, isn’t it? Your child is crying because you tell him he CAN’T have a nap; everyone else’s cries because they don’t WANT to take a nap… Bet it just make you wanna keel over laughing, huh?
January 17th, 2006 at 5:45 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
Yay! I need new books. I just started reading Lolita in Tehran, and I’m soooo regretting it.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:40 am, Anonymous Says:
Susan,
If you haven’t already, check out
Wrongplanet.net it is a site for ASD kids, by ASD kids, it has a lot of good stuff, plus a great book list. Including The curious incident of the dog in the night time you already mentioned and so much more.
January 18th, 2006 at 9:48 am, Suburban Turmoil Says:
Okay, okay. In defense of The Other Boleyn Girl, I like it! It’s a good, mindless read- a nice historical romance that’s well written for that sort of thing. I personally like to alternate between difficult, “important” books and mindless page-turners.
If, however, I was forced to read The Other Boleyn Girl for a book club, I think I’d be pretty pissed. It’s not a book I would want to discuss, because it would be like discussing a Joan Collins book. And that would be weird!
Susan, I’ve enjoyed meeting you too. You’re a regular read now. Cool.
January 18th, 2006 at 10:26 am, Arwen Says:
Never let me go was so good and so depressing. I tried to get people to read but they I think I spun it the wrong way…something about ‘cloned people realizing the futility of life’ didn’t work for people. I recently finished the newest John Irving, Until I find you, and feel it is one of his best. John Irving is so good when it comes to writing about damaged people.