January 26, 2006
the Wrath of Oprah! plus: a clarification, a confession, and a tasteful bit of embellishment
not sad, just embarassed
I watched the first 38 minutes of Oprah’s interview with James Frey; for the most part, it just served to remind me why I don’t watch Oprah all that often. Because it’s all about Oprah!* Really, how MANY times could she tell us that she was ‘embarassed’ by the whole whoops-it’s-not-all-true thing? What irritated me was her swing from I BELIEVED EVERY SINGLE WORD to I HAD MY DOUBTS ALL ALONG. Because, of course, like you, I found myself thinking, well, if you had your doubts, why not pursue them? Like the folks at The Smoking Gun did!
Frey himself seemed to be regretting his decision to get clean and sober, as a stiff drink would have made it all better or at least less painful. In fact, I turned it off primarily because Oprah’s insistence that she was not sad, just embarassed was starting to make ME want a stiff drink. Frey did get himself into a bit of a tangle, however, when he insisted on referring to people in the book as ‘characters,’ a term usually applied to the folks in fictional writing. But let’s face it, he was just there to face the Wrath of Oprah. It’s the literary version of being called to the principle’s office. But with a live studio audience audience! And Oprah! By the end, even that drug-free double root canal was sounding less painful than this particular interview.
I was the most irritated with Nan Talese, Frey’s editor, who had no good answer when asked, in Oprah’s defensive, roundabout way, why she never had Frey’s manuscript fact checked. The best she could do was assert, repeatedly, that it ‘rang true.’ And while I will give her that (after all, OPRAH believed it), I still say that she has a responsibility to check the facts in any text that purports to be a TRUE story. How hard would it have been for someone at Doubleday to call the Ohio police department? Again, not so hard! The people at The Smoking Gun did it!
And now I have done with James Frey and Oprah. Forever and ever, amen.
when I said mundane, what I really meant was fascinating
I want to be clear about something I said in my last post, about Mommy blogging being about the ‘mundane.’ I did not mean that what I–or anyone writing in this genre–has to say is insignificant; quite the opposite. Too often, in our culture, we overlook the mundane–the everyday, the quotidian–in favor of the exotic. But while the exotic–Brad and Angelina and their instafamily, for example–might be entrancing, most of us are not Angelina. And if we think about it, I don’t think most of us want to be (although I would like to know what it’s like to have those boobs, just for a day. Wade thinks maybe for a weekend).
I went on to say that Oprah’s selection of A Million Little Pieces confirmed the importance of Frey’s story. I did not mean either that Frey’s story was more important than, for example, mine, or that only Oprah has the power to conferr importance. We live in a culture that demands external validation and we often turn to the media to find it. And, unfortunately, when the media talks about mommies, it is more likely to be a story about Angelina than a story about someone from your playgroup. Or mine, for that matter.
Even though THAT is the story I really want to read. Particularly if it’s funny. And perhaps involves a cute puppy!
Enough said.
other than this, everything else is completely true (I think)
Having made such a huge deal about TRUTH, I feel compelled to disclose the following: I don’t really like martinis. I like the idea of the martini, and I love those glasses, but the actual concoction makes me a little queasy. But I will happily carry one around at a party, because they make such great accessories! Although I prefer to drink wine. Or a nice Bloody Mary, if it’s early in the day.
Can you ever forgive me?
they’re sparkly! and shiny! and practical!
Let’s say, hypothetically, that I was thinking of buying these shoes (by which I mean that I have already bought them but have not told Wade). Are they fabulous or just . . . not? Help me out, here, Internet. I need some external validation.
*Yes, I am aware of the irony of complaining, in my blog, which is, of course, all about ME, about Oprah turning her televised talk show into an hour of narcissism. Let it go, people, let it go.
Posted by Susan @ 8:49 pm • Uncategorized
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January 26th, 2006 at 9:16 pm, wordgirl Says:
I saw the last part of today’s show. I held off reading the book until after Christmas and then all Hell broke loose when the Smoking Gun brought the real details to the table.
I’m no fan of Oprah, but I saw James Frey’s dour expression and decided to stay. Oprah totally reamed him and allowed others to do so as well. Not that he didn’t deserve questioning, but HOLY CRAP!…I think she allowed him to be publicly and verbally flogged in order to detract from her own mistakes.
Queen Oprah had to say she was WRONG on national tv and that makes her very, very cranky. Not a good day for Oprah means not a good day for James Frey. I wouldn’t be surprised if he went back home and blew his brains out. I’m not joking.
January 26th, 2006 at 9:23 pm, L. Says:
Nice shoes! Can you really walk in them??? If so, I salute you.
January 26th, 2006 at 9:26 pm, Susan Says:
Walking! I knew I was forgetting something when I bought those shoes. Dammit.
I was distracted by the sparkly bits.
January 26th, 2006 at 9:44 pm, mom on a wire Says:
First of all, I have a love/hate relationship with Oprah. And with the internet. So all this talk about Oprah ON the internet is kind of freaking me out. I can’t figure out if it combines into love/love or hate/hate or maybe love/love/hate or even hate/love/hate/hate. I’m all flustered and verklempt and I am very glad I missed today’s show.
Secondly, those shoes are HOTT. Wear them with a cute denim skirt and bangly earrings and you’ll be all trendy boho-chic!
January 26th, 2006 at 9:55 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
I was really uncomfortable watching the Oprah show today. I kept flipping back and forth to Law & Order because it was too painful to watch. The holier-than-thou columnists and Oprah were talking OVER James Frey as if he wasn’t there.
It is unfortunate that James Frey’s book isn’t 100% factual. I would have read it anyway. It was powerful stuff. I told my husband that if he doesn’t kill himself soon, he will probably start using again. Not that I wish it on anyone, but come ON!!! He may as well have been sent to Siberia!
BTW, I bought a smilar pair of shoes last summer on gojane.com (cheap shoe central) and they are FAB! And, more importantly, I can walk in them. Which is key. Since I am a klutz!
January 26th, 2006 at 11:11 pm, adria Says:
The shoes are awesome!
My question is how much did Oprah pay Frey to come back on her show and get scolded in front of millions?
January 27th, 2006 at 12:48 am, Penny Pressed Says:
I watched the Frey interview tonight as a rerun on our local station (and in the spirit of alcohol addition, was half in the bag, if you want to know the truth). I seriously can’t believe Frey agreed to go on the show. And though I totally support the memoir as representing the spirit of truth vs. a journalistic account of the facts, this whole debacle saddens me. (And Frey deserved a significant bit of flogging. But from the Queen of the Airwaves? Yikes.) The entire episode actually spurred a fairly heated debate between me and my husband on who was to blame in this situation, but I’m totally with you on the smarmily-accented Doubleday editor who should have done at least minimal fact checking. It’s called CYA, lady.
As for the shoes, they are cute. And I can’t wear them myself–my feet? look fat? can’t do it. So if you can pull them off, I will be totally jealous.
January 27th, 2006 at 4:39 am, Nancy Says:
I haven’t kept up on the Oprah/Frey thing, so I have no opinion on such weighty matters today.
The shoes, however? Very sweet. I like the sparkly bits too.
January 27th, 2006 at 6:38 am, the ockers Says:
too funny. I don’t really like martini’s either. too dry. but I do like the olive!
Clare
January 27th, 2006 at 7:49 am, littlemissme Says:
Ha! I saw those shoes yesterday, examined them closely, found them just like the Steve Madden wedges from last year, and vowed to buy them when they’re just a bit cheaper. I mean, it’s payless. I am morally obligated to spend $9.99, at the max.
Also, as many have said before me in other places, I think most of us read mommy bloggers to see that other people are just as bored and impatient and silly and crazy as we are…the mundane is good. The mundane is our life. Brangelina might be exotic, but they’re not exactly real.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:50 am, Kelli in the Mirror Says:
OMG the shoes. My friend has some that look almost like that, except they’re Steve Maddens and were a hundred bucks. I am in awe of you for finding them at Payless, and in fact may have to go buy a pair for my ownself. Congrats on your shopping prowess!
January 27th, 2006 at 8:47 am, Felicity Says:
I like the shoes tho they would probably hurt my feet. And they’re cheap, so why not.
I’m stunned by the martini revelation, though. I was so impressed: A mom! WHo likes Martinis! Wow! How cosmopolitan! Being a wine or tequila drinker myself, the martini really made you a grownup in my eyes. Why not call it a cocktail instead? A coctail is vague enough to allow it to be whatever you WANT to drink, yet still SOUNDS grownup.
Additionally, I still really need your surface address. I have a surprise in the works for you. Oh, and it doesn’t involve stalking or visiting.
January 27th, 2006 at 8:52 am, Felicity Says:
Also, the part about our lives being mundane, and what we write being mundane? That IS life. 90% of life IS the housework, the kids, driving, shopping, etc. So why not talk about it? And if we can talk about it in a way that makes it more real, siginificant, funny and/or eloquent, then why not? Isn’t discussing the dailiness of our lives making it–the dailiness–that much more real and significant? It’s about time that we bring this–Mommyhood–to the forefront. Instead of allowing it to be dismissed & relegated to embarassed admissions (I’m a stay at home mom. But I have a college degree!) let’s recognize it, celebrate it, laugh and so forth.
January 27th, 2006 at 9:54 am, Kara Says:
first the shoes. espadrilles are the new… espadrille. and they are very ‘now’ and very cute! i have been looking for an affoardable pair with a nice stripey pattern. then i will need to find a fab sundress to go with them.
about the martini- ditto. but i do love the stoli raspberry gimlet. delish, smooth, and they are served in the same adorable glass.
ugh. work. must. go.
January 27th, 2006 at 11:00 am, Nothing But Bonfires Says:
1) Purty shoes. And from PAYLESS! I am quite sure that this means that you need them in the other color too.
2) I feel like my whole life has been a lie, now that I have discovered you don’t like martinis! I don’t like them much either. But I bought two martini glasses at Ikea once just so I could drink water from them because I love the shape. And they were from Ikea so they were cheap so I could justify it.
3) I am impressed you had the self-restraint to buy shoes you can’t wear for a little while. (Or can you? We’re still in sweaters and boots in Charleston.)
January 27th, 2006 at 11:24 am, Candace Says:
Good shoes, bad drink.
That’s all I have to say about that.
January 27th, 2006 at 12:57 pm, Susan Says:
I neglected to say (shame on me!) that I purchased the shoes (hypothetically) in the brown; the orange was a little too . . . well, ORANGE for my wardrobe. And they seem surprisingly comfortable, or at least they did during the twenty five minutes that I wore them in the house yesterday. While sitting down. Drinking wine. So we will see.
And James Frey–I’m more and more freaked out the more I think about it, so I’m really trying NOT to think about it. Fortunately, the boys are having meltdown after meltdown today, making it hard to think about anything! Whew.
January 27th, 2006 at 1:43 pm, The Daring One Says:
I’m banned from Oprah for the first year of my son’s life so I didn’t see the interview. I’m glad I can live it through your blog…..if I can trust your interpretation of what went on, that is.
I like the shoes. Perchance I will have to think about picking me up a pair. And hiding them in my closet.
January 27th, 2006 at 2:14 pm, Susie Says:
I agree re: Oprah. I was really uncomfortable watching the show and today I was thinking about it and she used the guy as a platform for herself. The whole time I wanted to scream - Who give a @#$%! Even though I was interested to hear Frey’s case. I agree he was wrong to lie but I have a hard time believing the publishing house didn’t set him up for this by failing to do their jobs. He looked so miserable I swear I thought several times “I hope this guy doesn’t off himself.” He looked down most of the time.
Also I only like fruity martinis. And I LOVE wine. Specially Pinot Grigio. Yum-MEE.
As for mommy blogging - I read them to see some reflection of myself. So I don’t get lost over here. Was it Fussy who said they were revolutionary?
January 27th, 2006 at 2:34 pm, Susan Says:
Susie, it was Alice, from Finslippy, and I was totally thinking of her when I wrote that original post. And not only because she has fantastic hair . . .
January 27th, 2006 at 3:06 pm, Homestead Says:
I don’t really enjoy martini’s either…. but I really like Lemon Drops…. and they can be served in a martini glass…. although I usually drink them out of a plastic cup because, well, it’s just safer for everyone that way….
January 27th, 2006 at 3:48 pm, CarpeDM Says:
I want those shoes. I must have those shoes. But I want the orange ones because orange is my absolutely favorite color.
I can’t watch Oprah. She annoys me. Besides, she likes Tom Cruise and I can’t stand him.
I feel kind of bad for James Frey, not that I had any clue who he was until everyone (read bloggers because that’s how I get my news) was talking about him. It’s too bad that he felt the need to lie about his background, from what I’ve heard it was well written.
In my case, I do try to be as truthful as possible but I love to make people laugh. So I’ll tweak things. And I can’t remember dates to save my life. I usually say something happened ten years ago when I’m talking about my past but then realize later that, uh, no, I’m a lot older than I like to think.
I have never had a martini but I am sure I would hate them. Not even the chocotini can tempt me. Although the glasses are pretty. But since I am never ever ever drinking again, I don’t have to worry about them.
January 27th, 2006 at 3:56 pm, Susan Says:
Homestead, recipie please. And quick!
January 27th, 2006 at 3:57 pm, Kristen Says:
I don’t like martinis either, but that doesn’t stop me from ordering them and then forcing my husband to trade drinks with me. He’s a saint. Or a lush. Take your pick.
I could never pull off those shoes. But I am so jealous those of you who can!
And the Oprah interview? I didn’t see it, but I feel awkward just thinking about it based on your descriptions here. Ick.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:29 pm, Rayne of Terror Says:
Why was he on the second time? People? Book sales! How big a bump do you think his book got the first time he was on Oprah. Now there’s a mini scandal about his book and he gets to be on a second time. I bet his share of the profits skyrockets. Slate has a bit on how it got published without fact checking, because the publishers knew it was fiction and made the decision to repackage it as a memoir after 17 publishers rejected the book.
January 27th, 2006 at 8:33 pm, Mary P. Says:
Every time I read one of your posts, I just feel good. You’re so smart, you’re witty, you’re fun to read. You know what’s important and what’s not. And you don’t like martini’s, but you do use them to accessorize at parties, too!
January 28th, 2006 at 10:00 am, Susan Says:
Rayne, I wondered about that. I need to read the Slate article, but this just confirms my sense that, while Frey is absolutely complicit in this whole debacle–and, I think, had a moral or ethical obligation to stand up and admit that his text was BASED on a true story but not necessarily a TRUE story–Nan Talese is the one who should be taken out behind the shed to pick a switch. Doubleday is a HUGE publishing house–it is irresponsible of them to hang an author out like that.
Gah. I think I need to go look at my cute shoes again.