August 19, 2005
the real problem is that I don’t have Wonder Woman’s boobs
I am having a hell of a time gettting dressed these days. Not so much because of the extra ass I grew this summer (although that is slowing me down some), but because I have no idea what mommies wear.
I’ve never known what to wear to this job. There is no dress code; there are no good rules beyond EVERYTHING MUST BE MACHINE WASHABLE. And even that doesn’t always apply. I wind up choosing my clothes by what the weather is like, or what park we are going to, or what is clean (and you do it, too, admit it). I want to wear grown-up clothes every once in a while! Or I would if I had any. That fit. And were practical. See the problem?
Really, what do you wear when you’re the Mommy?
I think I’m actually having an identity crisis. The other day Leslie was telling me that she and another friend had been talking about how smart I am (yes, me–just go with it) and I said, ‘Have you started drinking during your playdates?’ Because frankly, I’m not feeling all that smart these days. I’m feeling like I’m all ass and no brain. Really.
And I find myself doing crazy things like buying a pair of pants solely because a mommy I know only from the park and Starbucks but who seems very cool and fun has a pair just like them (forgetting, as I am buying them, that she is both younger and taller than I am, which probably contributes to her aura of hip and fun). Because maybe the right pair of pants will make me a cool mommy, instead of the dud mommy I feel like now.
I’m sure most of this is caused by the final slog toward the first day of school (when I will NO LONGER be outnumbered in my own home all day) and is compounded by the fact that most of my clothes don’t fit so I’m wearing the same thing over and over and over.
The other day Charlie was talking about what he wants to be when he grows up. His short list on this day included firefighter, astronaut, and knight. ‘Mommy, what do you want to be when YOU grow up?’ he asked me.
‘I am grown up,’ I told him. ‘And I’m the mommy, remember?’
‘And before that you were a teacher!’ he said happily. Then he thought for a moment and said, ‘Maybe next you could be a superhero!’
Yes, but what would I wear?
Posted by Susan @ 7:53 am • Uncategorized
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August 19th, 2005 at 8:11 am, Kyra Says:
hi susan!!!! you are cracking me up! i TOTALLY identify with EVERYTHING you are saying! i TOO am growing a prodigious ASS these days and wearing the same thing over and over! and in my case, the potato chip/salami diet is most assuredly not helping with the butt/thigh bumpy slope that has recently developed.
also, your son’s comments about putting the cavities BACK was a RIOT! thanks for coming over to the site and posting a comment! i love comments!!!
August 19th, 2005 at 9:23 am, ieatcrayonz Says:
Housecoats and caftans! It has to be hand-sewn and paisley. C’mon, Spidey Man did it. I’m sure Threadbared has something good.
Caftan Mommy to the rescue!
August 19th, 2005 at 11:03 am, Anonymous Says:
Add the turban to the caftan and you’re all set! Kitten heels will so complete the outfit! - Lisa
August 19th, 2005 at 12:23 pm, Candace Says:
It’s taken me YEARS to find my fashion self and I’m not giving it up because I have kids.
I LOVE skirts in the summer. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Causal, cute, funky ones with cotton v-neck t-shirts and sandals/flip-flops.
Capris are good, but only funky ones. NO denim. Denim capris are bad, for me.
Shorts are OK, but I really do love skirts in the summer.
August 19th, 2005 at 12:33 pm, Susan Says:
I do a lot of skirts in the summer, too, Misfit (as an alternative to shorts, which I won’t wear, even though it is hot as hell here most of the summer. Oh, yes, because it IS hell . . .)
What was I saying? Oh, skirts–and then I get this response, from TOTAL STRANGERS: ‘My, you’re awfully dressed up to be at the park/bookstore/grocery. Are you going somewhere later?’
Really, people, WHAT DO THEY EXPECT? That just because I’m the Mommy I will go around in my pjs all day?
August 19th, 2005 at 1:21 pm, Mary P. Says:
I wear skirts ALL SUMMER LONG. I go for the artsy, long, flowy, full ones, worn with a tank top. Very feminine, cooler than shorts, and perfect for hunkering down on the sidewalk to check out the ants with a toddler.
I know it’s What Mommies Wear, because I wear it, and I Am A Mommy.
So there.
August 19th, 2005 at 3:38 pm, adria Says:
My wardrobe is the same. Lately, I have been living in shorts or carpris and a tank top. Everyone I know dresses so much better than me.
Everytime I see what my single, no children or husband neighbor wears to work, I look with envy. I would probably dress in that style if I did not get crap spilled on me all day.
August 19th, 2005 at 4:26 pm, Homestead Says:
Hah! My work wardrobe and my mommy wardrobe are pretty much the same….. something that forgives me my lack of a waist (or, rather, my ample bodiage where a waist should be) and comfortable shoes. Capris & skirts with cute t-shirts (I got a SuperMan t-shirt on clearance that I’m pretty fond of… I wear it whenever it is clean). I also have a couple of cute sundress-type things that look very stylish with my jean jacket.
Oh, wait, picky eater comment to add…. I WAS THAT CHILD. I liked cheese and bread & butter. But only certain kinds of cheese & bread. My mom had a “more pounds than inches” party for me. (To do that now I would need to be twelve and a half feet tall… just so you know.) I now eat almost anything….
August 20th, 2005 at 5:41 am, Heather Says:
You mean you guys don’t wear 6 inch patent leather thigh boots to the park too?
No wonder I have a hard time keeping up with the kiddos. But I figure thats part of the supermommy regalia, but I can’t figure out why cars keep stopping me and ask me my hourly rate.
My hip mama factor usually involve capris
Skirts tend to accentuate my lumpiness in all the wrong ways.