February 14, 2006
the part about how much I love him is completely true
You know who doesn’t get nearly enough attention around here?
My husband.
By ‘here’ I mean this web site, not my house in general, although that’s probably true, too. But as it is Valentine’s Day, I figured I should fix that. After all, other blogger’s husbands get recognized in the grocery store–which reminds me: if you live in OKC and you ever think you recognize Wade, anywhere, for the love of god PLEASE go up to him and say, ‘I READ YOUR WIFE’S BLOG’ because that would TOTALLY freak him out. I will pay you real money to do that.
Anyway, Kathryn (who turns out to have an arrest record in Texas, go figure) wants to see what kind of lies I am capable of telling. You all know what a big fan I am of the truth, but I agreed to play anyway, because–well, because she’s got that ARREST RECORD and all and you never know what those Canadians are capable of.
But, because I’m a rebel (stop laughing), I’m going to break the rules and tell you five things about Wade, four of which are true. You will need to decide, based solely on what you have read here and your own sense of what seems probable, which of these things is the fiction. And, as with all contests, employees of Friday Playdate and their families are not elegible. Nor are those of you who actually know my husband. You know who you are.
So! Here are five things about Wade, ONE of which is a complete falsehood. Happy Valentine’s Day!
1. Wade rode on the University of Oklahoma cycling team. Shortly before I met him, he was hit head-on by a car outside of Norman, Oklahoma. He flipped over the top of the car, breaking the sunroof, and landed on the ground behind the rear bumper. When the driver got out to see if he was, well, dead, Wade hugged him. Because he was so happy to be alive. Oh, and he wasn’t wearing a helmet (Wade, not the driver, although the driver probably wasn’t wearing a helmet either).
2. Wade runs marathons; he has run 18 in the past ten years. He ran the San Francisco Marathon with my brother last year; my brother took three business calls during the race. Yes! Really! Because when you own your own business, there are no days off. Wade has finished in the top ten in the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon three times; he ran a personal best two years ago, and we celebrated for a week (although the first two days of ‘celebrating’ weren’t so much fun for Wade, what with having just run a marathon and all). He also runs shorter races, including a 10K at a nudist colony near Tulsa. He usually wins that one. Apparently running nekkid makes you faster. Or something like that.
3. Wade once shared a bottle of Southern Comfort with David Lee Roth, in the stairwell of a local hotel. I don’t know what else there is to say about that.
4. Wade spent a summer working in an oil field. His job consisted mostly of painting stuff and throwing rocks at cows to keep them from drinking tainted water. He lived in a trailer for one week, and then checked into a Motel 6 for the rest of the summer.
5. Wade will go on a five-day camping trip where he will hike twenty miles while carrying a fifty pound pack, fly fish in icewater up to his thighs, sleep on the ground at night, and eat freeze-dried camp food while sitting under a tarp in the pouring rain (or snow!), but he will NOT eat a decent, freshly-prepared meal outside. We will cook on the grill and then COME IN THE HOUSE to eat. Once a year, usually for my birthday, we will eat out on the deck at our favorite burger place. But that’s it. All meals must be served indoors.
So which of these things is NOT true about my husband? And how do you know?
Posted by Susan @ 8:28 am • Uncategorized
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February 14th, 2006 at 9:59 am, Kara Says:
hmmm… if he won’t eat a meal outside, then i can’t imagine him satying at a motel 6.
hmmmmm.
can i get a hint?
February 14th, 2006 at 10:00 am, standing still for once Says:
This is hysterically funny, and such a sentimental heartfelt Valentine tribute to the man in your life. What says love more than “which of these is a lie about my husband?” Since I haven’t read much about Wade, I’m going out on a limb and guess that it’s the the one about the bicycle. Not for any particular reason … I do love imagining someone in a stairwell drinking with David Lee Roth, tho’.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:22 am, Felicity Says:
My guess is the oil field. And I’m not saying why.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:39 am, Laura Says:
I’m also guessing the Motel 6 one. He looks tall and slim, so I can easily see the running and cycling thing. The David Lee Roth thing is too good to be made up. And the part about eating outside seems to have quite a bit of FORCE to it, so I would imagine that is true. Although I can’t for the life of me imagine why someone would run outside naked, and still not eat outside. Then again, my husband has to have some sort og garnish on every meal (to include cereal) so who am I to judge?
February 14th, 2006 at 11:25 am, Mary P. Says:
But these are all so good! I don’t want any of them to be false! Umm… stairwell with whatisname. Why? Because Southern Comfort, unless it’s in eggnog, is noxious stuff and Wade obviously has better taste than that. (He picked you, right?)
As for the Texas arrest thing. While I’m aware that this may be an urban myth, it’s common wisdom up here that, while it’s NOT illegal to have a loaded firearm on the seat beside you as you drive in Texas, it IS illegal to own a personal vibrator, even if it never leaves your house. Which, I don’t know, but for some reason, this would make me, were I ever to go to Texas, line a dozen of them up on my dashboard as I drove, just to TRY to get arrested for it. I’d be PROUD.
But that’s just me, I’m sure…
February 14th, 2006 at 12:18 pm, MamaChristy Says:
You play fun games! I think the fake one is about the marathon running. I couldn’t find Wade’s name on the list of finishers for the past five years on the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon web site(http://www.okcmarathon.com/). How’s that for snoopy…
February 14th, 2006 at 12:18 pm, CarpeDM Says:
I’m thinking number 5. Because that is such a guy thing to do. Not that I know what guys would do because I am so dang single it is not even funny. Dang it.
I’m so going to have to do this. But what version? Oh, the agony of choosing.
February 14th, 2006 at 12:56 pm, Chag Says:
I’m picking #4 as well. No reason.
But #3 did look tempting.
February 14th, 2006 at 1:25 pm, Kelli in the Mirror Says:
I’m picking the oil field, merely because it doesn’t seem to fit as well with the theme of the others. Besides, running a nekkid marathon makes me laugh hysterically and I just want that one to be true.
February 14th, 2006 at 1:46 pm, ieatcrayonz Says:
I couldn’t find a Wade in the marathon results either, and nobody in his age range from OKC in the top ten.
This would have been so much easier if the list were about you and you said you were the one running around like a wild woman in the great outdoors.
February 14th, 2006 at 3:12 pm, Candace Says:
Here’s my guess:
Whichever one is the lie.
How’s that?
February 14th, 2006 at 4:24 pm, adria Says:
Those were great!
I think the one about the oil field my be the fib. On an off note - I have David Lee Roth’s autograph in my scrapbook. My sister gave it to me when I was 12 or so - back when Van Halen ROCKED! What did Diamond Dave and Wade talk about??
Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 14th, 2006 at 5:20 pm, MJ Says:
These are all so good that I want every one of them to be true. But, if I must decide I’m going to go with…with…with the marathon running. No idea why. Maybe it was the naked part.
February 14th, 2006 at 5:23 pm, M&Co. Says:
I’m going with the Marathon running too. Almost every young man in OK worked in the oil field at one time. I remember you talking about your parents being here helping you with the boys while Wade went fishing, so that part seems fesible. I don’t remember you saying Wade went to OU, but it’s possible. And I too couldn’t find anyone with Wade’s name and in his age group from here in the memorial marathon.
You wanna meet at B&N some time and have me say to him, “I read your wife’s blog?” or would he know he’s been set up?
February 14th, 2006 at 5:45 pm, Chilihead2 Says:
OK, no man runs nekkid. Right? Seriously. Please don’t let that be true.
February 14th, 2006 at 7:31 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
Decisions, decisions.. He looks like a runner, but I can’t believe he runs nekkid. Why would he run naked if he won’t eat clothed outside? For some reason, I feel those should be parallel.
February 14th, 2006 at 8:21 pm, Kristen Says:
It’s got to be the marathon one. There’s no nudist colony outside of Tulsa, right? RIGHT? Please confirm.
February 14th, 2006 at 8:31 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
He’s built like a cyclist (Mr. Cleaver is one, that’s how I know), but no cyclist in his right mind would ride without a helmet. Except, of course, a few in the Tour, who must figure that since they’ve attained their life goal of riding in the Tour, it’s now okay to die.
I’m goin’ with the Can’t Eat Outdoors Man.
February 14th, 2006 at 8:33 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
By the way, Mary P., should I be surprised that you have a dozen vibrators?
February 14th, 2006 at 8:36 pm, L. Says:
You husband is hot — I love lean guys. My husband was lean, too, a couple decades ago.
I cannot tell a lie. I mean, I cannot tell which one is a lie — I`m perfectly capable of lying myself, but choose not to, most of the time.
Happy V-Day.
February 14th, 2006 at 9:51 pm, Susie Says:
I vote the marathon one too. Doesn’t strike me as a naked runner.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:04 pm, Arwen Says:
I am going to say david Lee Roth, because who would really want to drink with him. Of course, if you were in close proximity with DLR you would probably want to drive to numb the pain of DLR.
February 15th, 2006 at 7:46 am, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
Whoops. I played wrong. I pick the cyclist one as the lie.
February 15th, 2006 at 11:01 am, Jenorama Says:
How did I miss this? It is true that when you own your own business, there is no such thing as a day off.
Very funny– I read the answers first, though, so I can’t play.
February 16th, 2006 at 1:44 am, The Daring One Says:
I’m guessing it’s 5 and I love the part where you beg people to go up to him in the grocery store. My husband would love that SO much too, I’m sure.