August 15, 2006
the obligatory my baby is starting school post, as required by the Official Mommyblogging Handbook (page 342)
alternate post title: you can’t always get what you want, particularly if you’re not entirely sure what you want in the first place
Tomorrow is Charlie’s first day of preschool. And no, there is no Official Mommyblogging Handbook, although I could use one right now because I have NO IDEA how to talk about what it feels like to send Charlie to school.
He’s ready. He knows his teacher’s name. He is excited about the hot lunch and the playground and the new friends in his class. He is nervous about the hot lunch and the playground and the new friends in his class. He is sad that he cannot take his binket with him, but agreed that it would be nice if we put his little frog in his bag and left him there for the day.
He will cry when I leave him. He will have fun once I am gone. He will be fine. He’s ready.
I have said before that I don’t worry about Charlie, but the truth is that I do. I don’t worry about how he will do in school–he is smart and social and everyone likes him. I worry instead about how Henry’s quirkiness–and our complicated responses to it–will affect him. My full-blown worry about Henry started the summer Charlie was born, and I know that has shaped my relationship with him. I know that he’s too little to know, in any real way, that Henry is different, but I also know that he has a clear sense of himself in this family. He is the baby, with his binkit and his thumb and his snuggly cuteness and his wonderful smooches. He is also a big boy, who wants to get his own snacks and water and pick out his own clothes. He is incredibly kind to Henry, not because we insist on it but because he is just incredibly kind.
Tomorrow my baby is going to school. And I don’t know how I feel about that.
Sometimes I think I am missing some essential component of the parenting experience, a peacefulness that comes from loving a child, the joy of just being with that child. I love my children and I feel fortunate that I have been able to stay home with them, that this is the first year they will both be in school full time. I have been waiting for this day, Wade likes to remind me, for six years. And now that it’s here (well, almost here, Henry starts school on Monday) I’m not sure what to make of it.
I will miss Charlie when he’s at school. I don’t know what I will do for seven hours each day without his chubby little smooches. I will miss him not because he is my baby but because he is the child who gives me peace. And all those smooches.
Thanks to Henry, who took these lovely pictures of Charlie and me.
Posted by Susan @ 8:00 pm • Uncategorized
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August 15th, 2006 at 8:18 pm, MamaChristy Says:
That was so… touching. I’m crying just reading it because, like you, I’m both looking forward to and dreading the day my boy starts pre-school.
BTW, Henry took some great photos.
August 15th, 2006 at 8:21 pm, Jenorama Says:
Wow, Henry took some great photos. I wish I could give you some comfort– you are standing on the precipice of a new era. And I can’t get out of the water and jump with you or hold your hand.
But know that I am down here in the water awaiting you, know that the water is cold, it is a jolt, know that standing where you are is scarier than the water itself.
And know that I am still treading, still here.
August 15th, 2006 at 8:35 pm, Chilihead2 Says:
Hey, Henry! You rock at the photography!
You know I’m with you on the back-to-school thing. BUT. Since I wrote that last post? Yeah. I’m good with school starting tomorrow. It’s the after school meltdown I’m dreading now.
August 15th, 2006 at 9:27 pm, M&Co. Says:
Tomorrow! Tomorrow? That seems so early, though I know people are starting school all over town. The BoyChild starts next Wednesday and the GirlChild starts back the 28th.
August 15th, 2006 at 9:28 pm, Melissa Says:
Um, how cute is Charlie?! Those are beautiful, sweet photographs.
I’ll be waiting to hear how you feel about the first day after the fact. And then the second day, and the third, and the tenth, and the hundred and sixty-second.
Because you’re the bulk of my reading material until the Official Mommyblogger’s Handbook arrives.
August 15th, 2006 at 9:40 pm, adria Says:
Henry has a great eye for photography! You should buy him his own camera and send him off.
I am happy and sad that Daria is heading off to Kindergarten in a few weeks. This is a beginning of a whole new era, and I, too, do not know what to do with it.
August 15th, 2006 at 9:43 pm, Mir Says:
Awwwww. He will come home to binket (and you) and still give you smooches. I promise.
August 15th, 2006 at 10:57 pm, nina Says:
Henry! Wow! Some great photos there!
And oh my, tomorrow sounds so soon! Is it already here? Summer is already over? Where did it go?
Charlie sounds like such a sweetheart.
August 15th, 2006 at 11:08 pm, chris Says:
Awwwwwww, that was so beautiful.
Personally I am tethering my baby to me and never letting him go more than 6ft away…ever.
August 16th, 2006 at 4:56 am, Tara Says:
The first time I dropped Littleman off at preschool and had three whole hours to myself, I sat in the car, sighed, and couldn’t move. I then rushed home to sit by the phone in case the teacher called.
She didn’t.
Congratualtions- your husband is right, you have earned this!
Charlie is very smoochable!
August 16th, 2006 at 5:50 am, Karyn Says:
I know how it makes me feel that my peaceful, kind, loving, smooch-giving baby (whose older brothers many neuroses rival those of Rain Man) will be starting NURSERY school for two mornings per week… it makes me feel like I want to barf.
Your post is way more eloquent and touching.
But I’m sticking with the Barf thing.
August 16th, 2006 at 6:30 am, Mamacita Tina Says:
Hope both boys have a great school year filled with fun memories, silly friends, caring teachers, and lots of learning! Can’t wait to hear about all the trouble you’re going to get into while the boys are at school.
August 16th, 2006 at 6:52 am, Cmommy Says:
Cute, cute, cute!!! I wrote my obligatory post last evening! {HUGS} wish you could go to brunch with our bus stop gang of mommies! C
August 16th, 2006 at 7:46 am, Meegs Says:
Wow, time flies. Your baby is starting school!! I’m sure it will be quite the adjustment for all of you, but I think you will be better for it. Charlie will certainly make new friends (how could they not love that face!), and you will have some time without the boys, which every mother needs. Good luck with the transition, can’t wait to read all about it.
August 16th, 2006 at 8:53 am, Laura Says:
Henry is an excellent photographer.
I completely understand your feelings, as I have a very similar relationship with my 2 girls. It was very hard when S started school. She has pretty much been a joy since the day she was born. It was hard, the starting school, but it got better. Mainly because she was so happy to do it, and had so much fun. That made it easier on ME.
That said, enjoy your time to yourself, and feel free to miss your baby. Just don’t worry that he is going to suffer somehow in comparison to Henry. Kids like Charlie and S are resilient. And joys to have around.
August 16th, 2006 at 9:25 am, Candace Says:
I got a little teary the other day when it hit me that Sophie starts first grade next week. I’ll never have any more babies. No more chubby little cheeks, no more nursing, no more coos and gurgles and baby-down skin.
I think, though, that it was a bit easier for me to reach this point because she won’t be starting full-time school until she’s six-and-a-half. Having that half-day with her for three years was glorious. And now I’m sort of ready to let her go to school all day. Sort of.
What Jen said? Awesome. And you know what? I can totally hold your hand and jump in that water with you. Because we’re both doing this for the first time.
Got your towel ready?
p.s. I’ve already arranged a breakfast date on Sophie’s first day with a friend whose daughter went to all-day Kindergarten last year. She’s ready to give me her shoulder to sob on.
August 16th, 2006 at 12:33 pm, Holly Says:
Awwwww…..such a sweet post, and what a cute child. He will do just fine!
I am confused, though, by the seven hours a day. How old is Charlie? What preschool runs seven hours a day? I take it that it runs through naptime? Has he given up his naps?
(I have a 4 1/2 y.o. and 2 1/2 y.o. and am clinging to naptime for dear life.
My kids are switching from FT daycare to preschool this year, and the youngest’s class is only 3 hours a day, two mornings a week. I would have preferred more. :-))
August 16th, 2006 at 12:40 pm, The Daring One Says:
Oh, the pictures are SO cute! I wish I could be there to hang out with you. Maybe my baby could give you some peace, hee hee hee. I am totally terrified of the first one heading off, let alone the last. Knowing your personality, I’m sure you will be all over some big project in no time and wondering how you ever had time to spend with the kids.
August 16th, 2006 at 1:49 pm, Ginny Says:
I just sent MY “big boy” to kindergarten on the 8th. His first day was very scary for him, but now he tells us he wants to go to this school forever. Your post made me cry. (((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
August 16th, 2006 at 2:17 pm, Meredith Says:
Wow, Henry is a great photographer! I hope this new era brings you more happiness and that both boys bring on the snuggles.
August 16th, 2006 at 3:38 pm, Susan Says:
Holly, Charlie is four. This particular preschool program is five days a week from 8:00 to 3:00. They have a rest time in the afternoon, but I’m really hoping that Charlie DOESN’T nap, because it messes up bedtime.
We went back and forth about this school, in part because of the long day (okay, I went back and forth–Wade went in the kitchen and got a beer and nodded a lot while I kept talking and talking and talking). When Henry was four, he TOTALLY wasn’t ready for a full day (heck, he may not be ready NOW, at six) but Charlie really is. So we went for it.
Plus, it will WEAR HIM OUT, which is my number one parenting goal.
August 16th, 2006 at 4:09 pm, Holly Says:
Oh, I didn’t realize that he was 4. Is this the equivalent of pre-K? Some of the preschools here have extended day pre-Ks that run 9-3 5 days/week. Unfortunately (?), my 4 1/2 y.o. got into the regular pre-K class instead of the extended day; it runs 9-12 5 days/week. So lots of quality (?) time with mom and sister.
I’m with you on the wearing your kids out thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only mom who takes her kids to the park in the morning and the pool in the afternoon what seems like every.single.day, but it’s a must for good naps and night sleep!
August 16th, 2006 at 4:20 pm, Susan Says:
Holly! We also do park and pool on the same day! Because EVERYONE at my house needs to be asleep by 8:00. Or I will need a padded room!
August 17th, 2006 at 9:11 am, Kristen Says:
Quinn is my Charlie. And my feelings about him (and his spot in the family, and his relationship with Bryce) are so similar to what you describe about Charlie.
This is a big step for all of you. We’ll be there next year. Yikes.
September 4th, 2006 at 9:33 am, Jill Asher Says:
We wanted to let you know that we linked to this post has been selected for the Manic Monday Mashup at Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Here is the link.
http://svmomblog.typepad.com/silicon_valley_moms_blog/2006/09/manic_monday_go.html
Congrats and great post about back to school!