January 30, 2006
the Cub Scouts made me cry
I got up this morning and put on a pair of pants that zipped (hooray for me!) and went to tour YET ANOTHER school. This time, I was looking for Charlie, and because I was visiting a Catholic school, I felt like I couldn’t wear jeans (doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible that Thou Shalt Not Wear Jeans on the Campus of a Catholic School, Excepting the First Friday of Each Month? I swear I remember that). Anyway, I found a nice pair of velvety corduroys and a modest turtleneck sweater and off I went.
The principal was a lovely woman, about my age, with a son in kindergarden, at this very school! What good advertising! She was warm and welcoming, and she said, ‘We can talk a little about the school and then I will show you around.’ I was trying to remember what exactly I wanted to ask her about–art, music, language classes, recess–when she said, ‘Let’s start with a prayer.’ Which threw me a little, as we are not let’s-pray-before-we-chat people here at Friday Playdate, but it is a CATHOLIC school after all, and I don’t know what else I expected. So we prayed, and I was reminded of how terrible I am at the whole prayer thing when I kept thinking, ‘Wow, I’ve had so much coffee this morning that I can’t hold my eyelids still! I hope she doesn’t notice. Wait, she’s praying, she probably has her eyes closed! Or at least she probably isn’t looking at me. Amen!’ So, yeah, not so much with the praying. Good first impression!
Then she told me all about this lovely school, with 20 kids in a class and music and art for the pre-k kids and Spanish starting in kindergarden and computers in first grade. When I told her that we’re not Catholic, she wasn’t thrown by that; she talked about how this is a CATHOLIC school, so they emphasize helping each child form a relationship with Jesus, but that nearly 15% of the students were from non-Catholic families and they were good with that and even had a system where, during Mass, the non-Catholic kids went up with everyone else during communion to recieve a blessing instead of the host so no one felt left out. And how they had sports for the kids, starting in kindergarden, and intramural sports starting in fourth grade. And Cub Scouts, too!
When she got to the Cub Scouts, I got a little weepy. No, not because scouting makes me cry (although the idea of sleeping outside in a tent does) but because, in all of the schools I have looked at for Henry, particularly this year, I’ve never had the luxury of thinking about scouting and basketball. Our concerns for Henry have focused so much on finding a community that could meet his specific needs–very small class size, teachers familiar with ASDs, access to OTs and PTs and tutors–that, until that moment, I hadn’t thought about things like sports and scouting as part of a school experience. And when I realized that this is what MOST parents think about when they look for schools, this idea that their child will fit in and participate and belong, I started to cry and the nice principal had to give me a tissue. Again, excellent first impression.
The principal took me around the school and showed me the classrooms, and everywhere we went polite children said ‘hello!’ and ‘good morning!’ to her. She knew all their names and they were all delighted to see her. When I asked about class size, she said, ‘We do everything we can to keep each class at no more than twenty, but sometimes we have to adjust. When the hurricane evacuees came from New Orleans, of couse, we took them in, and our kindergarden class was a little big for a while. But we did what we had to do.’ I wanted to hug her. But I wasn’t sure that would make a good impression, particularly after the poor praying and the crying, and I really really wanted her to like me.
As I drove away, I had this huge sense of relief. All this school touring has been stressful, to say the least, and I’m ready for it to be over. For the first time since we started looking at schools, I feel like we’ve found what we need, for both kids. I always swore that the boys would go to the same school, dammit, because I wasn’t driving all over town all day, but ha ha! that’s exactly what I will be doing. We’ve found a great school for Henry, one that specializes in kids with learning differences. In some ways, it’s a lot like the school I looked at today; it’s an Episcopal school, so Henry will also be building a relationship with Jesus, albeit with a more liberal Jesus. Both boys will wear uniforms, which makes me happier than you can imagine, as my kids stink at dressing themselves. Both schools are located on the same major road, within a few minutes of our house and each other, so I won’t really be driving around ALL the time. And each school offers exactly what my sons need.
Now just cross your fingers and hope they get in, because if they don’t both go to school full time next year, I cannot begin to describe the bad things that will happen. Really.
Posted by Susan @ 4:48 pm • Uncategorized
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January 30th, 2006 at 6:01 pm, Jenorama Says:
Lovely! Firsties!
Your crying about cub scouts almost made ME cry!
WAIT. There is more than one school in your town you can send your kids to? Just kidding. We have a Catholic School too, and a Lutheran one. I am just not as good a mommy as you. And I *still* have three kids in three schools!
January 30th, 2006 at 8:05 pm, Arwen Says:
We are starting the kindergarten search for Noodle this week, open houses Wednesday and Thursday, wish me luck. I asked my management if I could work from home for just this reason, explaining that it was on their conscience if Noodle didn’t get into the right kindergarten, since it leads straight to Harvard. Glad you found the schools that fit the boys.
January 30th, 2006 at 8:14 pm, L. Says:
Despite all my son`s problems I`ve written about on my blog at our own Catholic school, our daughter is absolutely thriving at the same school. Just stay away from OLD NUNS, and Catholic school is great!
January 30th, 2006 at 8:22 pm, Mary P. Says:
Your internal not-praying monologue - LOL
sleeping in a tent makes you cry - LOL
weepiness because of normal scouts stuff - poignant sigh…
“albeit a more liberal Jesus” - ROTFLMAO
why you love uniforms - LOL
Oh, sweetie, you have so earned a good year for you and the boys next year. (And not just because you make me laugh nearly every day!) I’ll be praying or meditating or focussing or sending good vibes or whatever it is I can call that thing that I do when I really, really, really want something to happen!
January 30th, 2006 at 8:46 pm, Chag Says:
Here’s hoping they both get in!
Cub Scouts at school? Spanish in kindergarten? I have much to learn.
January 30th, 2006 at 8:46 pm, daysgoby Says:
The schools sound great. How do the boys feel about them? Do they still throw Kool-Aid and cookie end of summer bashes so all the kids get to know each other?
January 30th, 2006 at 9:04 pm, Susan Says:
Oh, crap, I forgot about those get-to-know-you deals. I should start looking NOW for something to wear. Crap.
Charlie is very excited about his Big Boy School. And Henry has decided that he wants to go to boarding school, like Harry Potter, so any place we send him will be a letdown. But WE are excited about his school!
Seriously, what do I wear to New Student Night?
January 30th, 2006 at 9:09 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
I am excited for you that you found the right schools for each of your sons. All fingers and toes will be crossed for luck.
January 30th, 2006 at 9:41 pm, CarpeDM Says:
I have often thought, that if I did have children (which is not happening unless there is some sort of miracle (Or punishment, depending on how you look at it)), I would send them to a private school.
I’m happy that you’ve found what’s going to work for you and the kids.
And I’m really bad at public praying as well. Do you shut your eyes? Should you be watching to see if they shut their eyes? How do you know when it’s over with? I prefer to have conversations with God that don’t involve traditional praying.
I should probably say these conversations do not mean that I hear voices.
January 30th, 2006 at 9:49 pm, Susan Says:
I should have said that the nice principal lead us in prayer, which means that she was praying OUT LOUD while I was wondering how on earth I had drunk so much coffee without stopping at Starbucks.
I’m going to hell, aren’t I?
January 31st, 2006 at 2:51 am, KatieK Says:
(My word verification set was: Jenun, ha, NUN…)
My daughter goes to a secular school in Istanbul, but they, like all schools, have a state-mandated “region” class, which of course means Sunni Muslim.
We had the option to have her sit out the class, but decided she should take it so she would have the full Turkish experience, and so her friends would not be able to classify her as “different.”
Everyone assumes she is Christian, since she is blonde and her mom is foreign (most mixed marriage families follow the mom’s religion). She is not Christian. I was raised Zen Buddhist in Oregon in the 1960s and 1970s. Her dad’s Marxist (not unusual for his generation of Turk).
When they ask her what religion she is, she annoys them by saying “my parents say I do not have a relgion until I am an adult and then I will make my own choice.” This drives them crazy.
January 31st, 2006 at 12:05 pm, Candace Says:
I remember when we had our first preschool conference for Sophie. We had the same teacher Christopher had, and our conferences up to that point had all involved specialist referrals and IEPs and problem behaviors.
We sat down and she said, “Sophie is a joy to have in class, she’s very independent, and she’s having no problems at all.”
I cried. But this is a special needs preschool (with spots for typical kids) so the teacher knew why I was crying. She said, “I know. After Christopher, it’s nice to have one you don’t have to worry about.”
And it is. I love my boy so incredibly much, but man, it’s nice to have a kid I don’t have to worry about.
January 31st, 2006 at 2:40 pm, Kara Says:
you will look fabulous and you will def. be the mom there with the quickest wit! the muffia at the kid’s school has given me lots of good(?) material. the blog will write itsself!
January 31st, 2006 at 9:09 pm, Kristen Says:
My kids are currently at different schools, and my husband does spend much of his day driving them around…but they are both getting what they need and we’re happy about that. I know how relieved you must feel.
February 1st, 2006 at 9:12 am, marti (standing still for once) Says:
First, congrats on zipping your pants. Second, as the years have gone by since the ASD diagnosis, after all the intervention we’ve done, we have noticed more and more that we’re doing the typical child things and less of the ASD needs things. Of course, intervention started at 3 1/2, and Child is almost 11 … but you’ve never seen two parents happier to see their child play on a typical little league team. Or a mother more proud when she overhears another parent say to the coach, “Let Child catch … his head is in the game.” Here’s to the tiny little congrats we can give ourselves.