May 16, 2005

the cop thought she was hot, too

My last year in graduate school, I had an office mate named Michael Charlton. He was a fiction writer, working on an MFA. He looked like a writer–his clothes were rumpled, and he always needed a shave and a haircut. He was recently divorced, and was trying to get back into the dating scene. He drank too much and smoked too much and was always announcing that he needed coffee. He had a deep, gravelly voice and a lopsided smile–if you like that tortured writer look, he was pretty damn sexy. Once, after too many beers, he told my friend Jennifer that he thought I was ‘hot’. But I digress.

One afternoon, Mike came into the office and said, ‘You’ll never believe what just happened.’ He had stopped at the bank on his way to lunch. One of the tellers was a beautiful Japanese girl; he had been talking about her for weeks. He asked Jennifer and me, ‘Would it be weird if I cashed a check and then asked her out?’ No, no, we said, go for it! It’ll be great! On this particular day, he stood in the line, testing out variations on ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ The man in front of him finished his unusually long transaction and Mike stepped up to the counter. Before Mike even had a chance to hand her his check (much less ask her out), she burst into tears, turned to the teller next to her, and announced that the customer in front of Mike had just robbed the bank.

When the police came, they asked Mike if he had noticed anything about the bank robber–the man in front of him in the line. ‘Nope,’ he told the police office, ‘I was too busy checking out the hot teller.’

‘Smooth,’ I told him.

‘Yep,’ he said.

‘I bet she’ll go out with you now.’

He laughed. ‘You think?’

‘Absolutely.’

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One Response to “the cop thought she was hot, too”

1. May 17th, 2005 at 8:04 am, ieatcrayonz Says:

   Talk about ruining the moment. Being in a bank when it’s being robbed is one of my biggest fears. It probably has to do with a couple of bank robbery deaths here in T-town last year. I can’t believe he didn’t even notice. Wow.

   I was wondering when you were going to post. I kept imagining you in a euphoria of house cleanliness meditation all weekend. Feet propped up on pillows and wearing a gel mask, the kids would tap your shoulder. “Go outside and play kids, I’ve found my happy place.”

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