Comments on: the butter people http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/ entirely true, but exaggerated for comic effect Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:17:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: martha http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1688 martha Fri, 02 Dec 2005 20:06:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1688 I can thank my own ADD tendencies that I'm pretty much as unlikely to know where the butter is as my husband. I think of myself as a feminist. My husband and I both work from home, and spend pretty much equal time with the kids. The gender issue shows up in our household primarily in the inequity of how much money we make. And money is power. I know that to my roots by now. But it's a complex equation-- I don't make as much money in part because of the profession I've chosen (I'm a muralist), and partly because I have a great deal of trouble asking for what I'm worth, which of course is another gender related issue. Interesting discussion. I can thank my own ADD tendencies that I’m pretty much as unlikely to know where the butter is as my husband. I think of myself as a feminist. My husband and I both work from home, and spend pretty much equal time with the kids. The gender issue shows up in our household primarily in the inequity of how much money we make. And money is power. I know that to my roots by now. But it’s a complex equation– I don’t make as much money in part because of the profession I’ve chosen (I’m a muralist), and partly because I have a great deal of trouble asking for what I’m worth, which of course is another gender related issue. Interesting discussion.

]]> By: Susan http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1664 Susan Thu, 01 Dec 2005 12:53:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1664 L, I think that's the most significant problem with this essay--and with this line of feminist theory in general. There is a distinction between pragmatic choices and choice as a rhetorical trope; we all make actual CHOICES (what brand of butter to buy, if you will) but I've come to think that those choices are NOT what Hirschman and other third-wave feminists are talking about. Which is why, for so many women, it doesn't feel like feminism is really about our lives any more. L, I think that’s the most significant problem with this essay–and with this line of feminist theory in general. There is a distinction between pragmatic choices and choice as a rhetorical trope; we all make actual CHOICES (what brand of butter to buy, if you will) but I’ve come to think that those choices are NOT what Hirschman and other third-wave feminists are talking about. Which is why, for so many women, it doesn’t feel like feminism is really about our lives any more.

]]> By: L. http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1663 L. Thu, 01 Dec 2005 06:19:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1663 Ockerbarnes, glad I`m not the only one. But what they did with the butter wasn`t exactly feministing!<br/><br/>And contrary to what Hirschman says in her article, just `cause lots of women don`t mind, or actually LIKE doing the household butter stuff, doesn`t mean all of us let men off the hook and lower all our expectations. Ockerbarnes, glad I`m not the only one. But what they did with the butter wasn`t exactly feministing!

And contrary to what Hirschman says in her article, just `cause lots of women don`t mind, or actually LIKE doing the household butter stuff, doesn`t mean all of us let men off the hook and lower all our expectations.

]]> By: the ockers http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1657 the ockers Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:00:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1657 Hi L, yes, I thought about Last Tango in Paris too and had a giggle about that too Hi L, yes, I thought about Last Tango in Paris too and had a giggle about that too

]]> By: L. http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1656 L. Thu, 01 Dec 2005 01:03:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1656 Am I the only one remembering Marlon Brando in "Last Tango in Paris" saying, "Get the butter!" ...?<br/><br/>Yeah, I thought so....<br/><br/>Seriously, the only emotion I had when I read Hirschman`s article was ordinary anger, that she seems to think there`s something wrong with what I`m doing. I didn`t refectively wonder if I was letting womankind down, because I "opted out." Perhaps there`s something wrong with me? Maybe I`m missing something? I won`t be losing any sleep over this. Am I the only one remembering Marlon Brando in “Last Tango in Paris” saying, “Get the butter!” …?

Yeah, I thought so….

Seriously, the only emotion I had when I read Hirschman`s article was ordinary anger, that she seems to think there`s something wrong with what I`m doing. I didn`t refectively wonder if I was letting womankind down, because I “opted out.” Perhaps there`s something wrong with me? Maybe I`m missing something? I won`t be losing any sleep over this.

]]> By: Rayne of Terror http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1653 Rayne of Terror Wed, 30 Nov 2005 14:37:00 +0000 http://fridayplaydate.com/the-butter-people/#comment-1653 I was interrupted from commenting Monday by a phone call. I immediately asked this friend what she thought about the butter because I feel conflicted about the butter. Sometimes I love the butter and othertimes it makes me so mad. She and I both had mothers who primarily stayed home, though they both occassionally had part time jobs and earned extra degrees. She had just returned from a thanksgiving run by a stay at home dad who doesn't know where the butter is and she found it totally maddening.<br/><br/>Anyway everytime I get mad about how much butter I have to look after I think about my out. I'm returning to law school in 6 weeks. But then I think about how my husband (whose mothere did EVERYTHING) has gotten quite complcent about the butter and how much of an upheaval we're going to have when I need so much time to myself for the next 3 semesters.<br/><br/>I didn't choose to get pregnant. I didn't choose to stay home. The baby was born on the first day of the semester so I couldn't go back and the graduation and bar requirements/timeline kept me home for a year. But even though being home has been depressing it has also been wonderful. Which I guess is the same way I'd describe working at the Illinois Senate prior to school, and also school itself. So maybe that's just the way I am. <br/><br/>Anyway, I have loved this discussion. I rarely comment, but read every day. I was interrupted from commenting Monday by a phone call. I immediately asked this friend what she thought about the butter because I feel conflicted about the butter. Sometimes I love the butter and othertimes it makes me so mad. She and I both had mothers who primarily stayed home, though they both occassionally had part time jobs and earned extra degrees. She had just returned from a thanksgiving run by a stay at home dad who doesn’t know where the butter is and she found it totally maddening.

Anyway everytime I get mad about how much butter I have to look after I think about my out. I’m returning to law school in 6 weeks. But then I think about how my husband (whose mothere did EVERYTHING) has gotten quite complcent about the butter and how much of an upheaval we’re going to have when I need so much time to myself for the next 3 semesters.

I didn’t choose to get pregnant. I didn’t choose to stay home. The baby was born on the first day of the semester so I couldn’t go back and the graduation and bar requirements/timeline kept me home for a year. But even though being home has been depressing it has also been wonderful. Which I guess is the same way I’d describe working at the Illinois Senate prior to school, and also school itself. So maybe that’s just the way I am.

Anyway, I have loved this discussion. I rarely comment, but read every day.

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