May 15, 2007
that light at the end of the tunnel? most likely a train
Yesterday I worked like a busy bee all day and got EVERYTHING on my list done, including the very last things from our home inspection. I also whiled away nearly an hour on the phone getting our utilities switched from this house to the new house, which had been waking me up at night (because what if we move and I DON’T HAVE INTERNET ACCESS? OH THE HUMANITY!). And last night, after a delicious dinner cooked on the grill, I climbed into bed and slept soundly. No bloody noses (good!) and no Stephen Colbert (bad!).
But! My friend Rachel interviewed Jane Kaczmarek for ParentDish, and when she called last night, while we were out eating ice cream with the kids, to say DID YOU SEE THE INTERVIEW? I said, “You know she’s married to Bradley Whitford. Who is my secret boyfriend.”
Wade: How many secret boyfriends do you have?
Me: Shut up.
Rachel knew that, of course (duh) and then she said, “I have their phone number. On my caller ID.”
Me: What!?!?!
Rachel: Yep. When she called me, it showed up on the caller ID as B. Whitford.
Me: NO WAY!!!
Rachel: Yes way!
No, she did not give me Bradley Whitford’s phone number (duh) but I feel a little closer to him now, in a six degrees of Kevin Bacon kind of way. And then in the car on the way home, Henry said, “Who is Bradley Whitford?”
An actor, I told him.
“Yes,” he said, “and he’s also your secret boyfriend. What does THAT mean?”
Me: It means that one day he will come and take me away from all this to live a life of luxury.
Henry: Really?
Me: No.
Henry: Oh. I didn’t think so.
Anyway, I slept all night last night because I finally got (almost) everything on the Big List of Things To Do done (some of the utilities won’t set up service more than fourteen days in advance, so I have three more calls to make on Friday) and Charlie waited until AFTER I showered this morning to have his bloody nose, which was very considerate of him. And today I’m feeling really tired and logy but still like stuff is done and I have a little moment of rest before the Next Thing (which would be packing). I have one wee little project to finish today but I’m feeling very Zen about it because meh, it will get done.
Ahhh.
And then my realtor called to ask if we could do the final walk-through this week. And I said, sure! Why not? Because we might as well do it now, before the whole house is a total wreck.
Oh, wait, the whole house is ALREADY a total wreck! Dammit.
I’ve fired my housekeeper (FINALLY) and the lawn guy mowed on Friday but it’s been raining ever since so the grass is knee high AGAIN already and while I realize that all I really need to have done for the walk through is the stuff on the inspector’s list (done! all of it! plus a couple things she missed that we felt like we should do, because WE’RE SO DAMN NICE THAT WAY) I still feel like the house shouldn’t look like a sty when the new owners come through. And now I’m all stressed out AGAIN because I have to clean and talk Wade into mowing (honey, are you reading this? okay then!) and I’m worried that I missed something from the inspection and part of me is still afraid the buyers are going to say, “You know what? We’ve changed our minds.”
Breathe. Breathe.
This would be a really good time for one of my secret boyfriends to drop by, maybe with some flowers. Or a cold martini. And then he could mow the lawn.
Posted by Susan @ 11:54 am • Uncategorized
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
May 15th, 2007 at 12:55 pm, sherrypg Says:
We call them Pretend Celebrity Boyfriends. Mine is Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs. It used to be David Duchovny until he married *her* on my BIRTHDAY! How rude. You would think a PCB would be a little more caring of your feelings.
May 15th, 2007 at 1:15 pm, Melissa Says:
Probably a train. Heh.
May 15th, 2007 at 2:34 pm, Pamela Says:
Back off, sister. Brad’s MY secret boyfriend. We started hooking up during his West Wing days. But I hear Colbert is free.
Good job on your list!
May 15th, 2007 at 3:22 pm, Karly Says:
My guess is that Wade would welcome your secret boyfriend with open arms should he drop by and mow the lawn for him. At least thats what my husband would do.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:31 pm, stephanie Says:
Mine are Potential 2nd Husbands, and the list is getting ridiculously long. My husband is starting to feel inadequate and my children are confused…But I’m happy, and isn’t that all that matters?? Go you.
May 15th, 2007 at 8:00 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
Mine are known as my “future new husbands,” one being John Cusack and the other, well, John Cusack…
May 15th, 2007 at 8:06 pm, Susan Says:
Dawnann, I totally thought of you during the Pretend Boyfriend conversation! And of John Cusak!
He’s all yours, girlfriend, I promise. But hands off Colbert.
May 16th, 2007 at 5:46 am, cce Says:
Wonder if Bradley is the sit-on mower type or a tough guy who prefers a reel mower, shrugging off the modern convenience of gasoline powered yard tools. Now I’m cracking up b/c I can’t imagine Bradley Whitford mowing a lawn. Thanks for the chuckle.
May 16th, 2007 at 5:50 am, Susan Says:
I would say that Bradley Whitford is probably a push-mower kind of guy (he’s a liberal eco lefty, after all), while Colbert is a stand on the deck with a G&T while the lawn guy mows type.
I like both types, although the second is more efficient. And involves cocktails.
May 16th, 2007 at 9:49 am, Karyn Says:
PCB…SB…whatever all y’all call ‘em, I want in on this deal! (I was referring the list of candidates - yes it’s a list, don’t judge me- as Alternates.)
May 16th, 2007 at 10:29 am, Karianna Says:
Lots of people compare my husband to Bradley (in fictional personality, not looks) but he’s the one in deep, man-crush love with Stephen.
Hope the dust settles soon.
May 16th, 2007 at 2:01 pm, rachel Says:
“probably a train”
welcome to my world. Er, sorry, I thought I was channeling all the bad luck for my friends. Maybe it’s only for the people I’ve sent jewelry to? if so, jump on that bandwagon.
Hope the light is a way out for you!m
May 17th, 2007 at 2:40 pm, Anonymous Says:
Bradley Whitford is one of my “secret boyfriends,” too! Ever since “Adventures in Babysitting.”
May 17th, 2007 at 3:24 pm, Susan Says:
Oh I COMPLETELY forgot he was in that. Wow.
May 18th, 2007 at 9:24 am, Patti (Mazy) Says:
Have you tried a little vaseline in Henry’s nose? If it’s because he has brittle little veins in there, that might help. Nightly application for a week or so.
May 20th, 2007 at 10:35 am, Heather B. Says:
OMG! I love Bradley Whitford. Not just in his hot Josh Lyman days, but also, remember that episode of ER when his wife died of pre-eclampsia and his baby survived and every time I see it I cry..but remember that? I love him. I really do.