March 4, 2005

she stuck it where?!?

So I did end up taking Charlie to the doctor yesterday (because I had $25.00 just burning a hole in my pocket, and I was dying to shell it out as a co-pay). He was still running a fever, and I figured it couldn’t hurt to know what specific kind of infection was causing him to burn up at six hour intervals (every time the Tylenol wore off). She checked his ears–both clear–and then gave him a throat culture, which he found pretty offensive (and I agree, having had my throat swabbed with the big Q Tip about a thousand times as a child). When that came back negative (in a mere FIVE minutes, mind you, not two days! Thank god for these advances in medical technology!), he had a flu test. Which consisted of the nurse sticking YET ANOTHER Q Tip in his nose.

The nurse was great. She zipped into the teeny tiny examining room and said, I need some snot! and whipped that Q Tip up his nose and then zipped out again. Charlie was a little shocked.

Why she put dat up my NOSE? he said, clearly offended.

Well, I said, she needs to run another test to see if you . . .

Henry! Charlie yelled. She put dat up my NOSE!

Where did she put it? Henry asked.

UP MY NOSE!

Where? Henry said, starting to laugh.

Charlie started to laugh, too. UP MY NOSE!

And they went on like this for a good five minutes, or just until the flu culture came back negative.

So we have what the doctor called a garden-variety sore throat virus. Tylenol, Triaminic, rest, fluids, yadda yadda yadda.

Today, Charlie is still running a fever.

And Henry is still saying, Charlie, where did the nurse put that thing?

And Charlie is still yelling, UP MY NOSE!