December 17, 2008
Santa brought socks and underwear
Henry was asking Wade and me to tell stories about our childhood Christmas memories the other night (it was some kind of homework, CATHOLIC SCHOOL WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?!?). Wade told the story he always tells, about how he used to sleep under the Christmas tree; I’m not even sure it’s a true story, but the kids love it.
Although now they want to sleep in our foyer, under the tree. On the tile floor. Sheesh.
I told a couple of stories, like my favorite one, about how my brother saw Santa Claus one time when we were little, and then I told them about how John was all three innkeepers in the Christmas play, and then I realized that all of my childhood holiday memories involve my brother.
Which makes sense, since he is both my only sibling and the Funniest Person I Have Ever Met.
All of that brings me to the Christmas of Socks and Underwear.
As kids, my brother and I always got socks and underwear for Christmas. Woo exciting. I’m sure our thank yous were sincere, if not enthusiastic. And then one day we found ourselves out of college and on our own financially and DESPERATELY IN NEED OF SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR. And my mother laughed.
But she kept buying the socks and underwear because good mothers do things like that, even when they’re laughing at you.
So it’s Christmas, and my brother is living in Albuquerque and working full time and probably not making much money. My grandmother is also living in Albuquerque, in a group home, because she’s had a stroke and cannot live on her own. She’s NOT HAPPY about this, as you might imagine.
On Christmas morning, instead of doing what we usually do, which is to get up when my mother drags us out of bed (she’s getting us back for all those years of waking her at 4:00 am — thanks Mom!) and open presents while slurping coffee, we got up and got dressed and picked my grandmother up at her group home and had a nice peaceful round of present opening as a family.
EVERYONE (except my brother and perhaps my grandmother) knows that John is getting UNM season basketball tickets for Christmas. And by EVERYONE I mean every single person in our family and the state of New Mexico, because my parents were really really excited about this. The tickets are cleverly disguised as Something Else, in a bigger box, because my dad is fun like that.
So we’re opening presents, very slowly and politely, and my grandmother has a spell and that puts an end to the present opening. At that point, John has opened precisely two boxes: one containing socks, and another with underwear in it.
I am not kidding.
We stop opening gifts and take care of grandma and then it’s time for dinner and my parents’ friends and neighbors start showing up to eat. One friend says to John, in a very knowing way, “Did you get anything EXCITING for Christmas?”
And he says, very enthusiastically, “Socks and underwear!”
She stares at him, and then says, “Did you get anything ELSE?!?” Because what twenty-something thinks socks and underwear are the highlight of Christmas? Especially when there are BASKETBALL TICKETS hiding under the tree???
And my brother says, “Nope. That’s it. Socks and underwear.”
My dad goes and digs around under the tree and finds the Mysterious Box with the basketball tickets in it and saves the day, because I think my brother was starting to think that socks and underwear might be the highlight of his holiday and the neighbors are starting to think that it’s awfully early in the day for my brother to be drunk. And he opened the box and there were the tickets and there was Much Rejoicing and THEN we got drunk. Ha ha kidding!
Anyway, that is forever the Christmas of Socks and Underwear when we tell the story.
Huzzah!
My kids didn’t get why that was so funny. Socks and underwear! Hysterical.
Posted by Susan @ 9:51 pm • when you're here you're family
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December 18th, 2008 at 1:56 am, jenB Says:
Will they laugh when they get boxes of socks and underwear this year?
December 18th, 2008 at 7:19 am, Cara Says:
I love your Christmas stories. I’m so glad you linked to the story of when your brother saw Santa and his sleigh. It gave me chills.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:30 am, Jenny Says:
My mother-in-law also gave socks and underwear as Christmas gifts. We always got Christmas pajamas to be opened on Christmas eve and worn to bed so that we looked nice for Christmas morning photos.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:02 pm, Lucinda Says:
Socks and underwear! That’s brilliant. I think we should start that tradition as I’m always suddenly finding I need to buy those for my children when I really don’t have time. Plus the looks on their face would totally be worth it.
Great story. Funny as always.
December 18th, 2008 at 12:28 pm, Sue @ My Party of 6 Says:
I always give my kids pajamas on Christmas Eve too (although the economic grinch in me this year decided to pass on this, because really, we have A LOT of pajamas), but they are getting new sheets! Woooo. I don’t think they will be excited, but you have given me a great idea. Hockey tickets might make up for the sheets.
December 19th, 2008 at 9:10 pm, Suebob Says:
I totally wish someone would give me socks and underwear. But just really GOOD ones.
December 22nd, 2008 at 12:25 am, Sunday Linky Love Says:
[…] Have you ever had your own Christmas of socks and underwear? […]