March 4, 2010

reeeeeeead to meeeeee!

When Henry was a toddler, he would bring us book after book and insist that we read to him, literally for hours on end. I would hear those PSAs that suggested parents read with their kids for 20 minutes a day and would weep because at the 20 minute mark, Henry was just getting warmed up. I dreamed of having a child who only wanted to have 20 minutes of story time. What a nice break that would be!

(I have that child, by the way. His name is Charlie.)

Henry would come to us with a book and hold it out; if we didn’t respond fast enough he would push it into our hands or laps. And if that didn’t work, he would haul off and hit us with it, because dammit woman, your job is to reeeeeeead to meeeeeee! Except of course that since he didn’t talk (AT ALL, no lie) he would just smack us with the board book or picture book and then wait until the reading started. It was crazy.

When he was a little older, maybe three, and was finally talking, he would memorize books; he would ask us to read the same book over and over and over and then sit on the floor and recite the exact words on every page. It was annoying but at least it was a break from reading.

These days, Henry is writing stories about superheros and their adventures; occasionally, his stories are about conflicts that sound suspiciously like the ones he has with other kids at school. It is fascinating to see how he is using stories to work through what’s on his mind. This year has been all about distinguishing between kids who are really your friends and kids who are not; we’ve talked a lot about how he is required to be kind to everyone, but how he does not have to make any extra effort with the mean kids. And of course, we’ve talked about the point at which he needs to go to an adult for help with the mean kids, and how to know when he’s at that point.

It’s not a conversation I love, but it’s one we need to have, and to keep having.

As part of that conversation, we tell stories — about things he’s done with his good friends, about what Wade and I do with our friends, about times when friends have really come through for us. The stories give him a way to grasp what it means to say that someone is a friend, and just like when he was a toddler, he latches on to those narratives and replays them over and over in his head.

And hopefully, they help.

* * * * *

Stories are one simple way to get inside your kids’ heads, to give them a script for the things in their life that can seem overwhelming and scary. We tell stories about the first day of school and the first night in a big kid bed and all the days in between. We tell stories about being brave and being independent and being kind. GoodNites has gathered these stories in their Bedtime Theater campaign, to give parents a way to open the door to talking with kids about difficult and important issues.

It’s a good project. (Although that link, to the Bedtime Theater site, has sound, so be warned. Sorry.)

They’ve also provided a super cool gift pack for me to give away today — let’s recap what’s in it, shall we? An iPod shuffle, a pair of Logitech speakers, a $25 iTunes gift card, and a super soft cuddle blanket, all of which comes packed in a reusable Patagonia bag. The whole thing is valued at $175, which is not too shabby.

The winner of the second GoodNites Bedtime Theater gift bag is Mama Bear, who wrote “My daughter learned to read by ‘reading’ The Very Hungry Caterpillar to us after we had read it to her. She was brilliant!” Yes she was! And what a great memory.

There’s still time to win — I’m giving away one more gift pack on Monday, March 8; to enter, leave a comment on the original giveaway post by midnight Sunday night. And don’t forget that the GoodNites people are giving $2500 for the best contribution to their Iggy and his Wiggy Bed series, which is awesome.

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® for this series of posts and giveaways; I am being compensated for my participation in the Bedtime Theater program and for hosting these giveaways, not for promoting a product. Just so we’re all clear.