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putting it all together: how you give back

Filed Under everything else on April 12, 2010

Charlie got all new bedroom furniture this weekend, which he desperately needed; he’s been living in a room cobbled together out of hand-me-downs and the remains of the nursery furniture. Now he has a real big kid room, with two beds and a dresser and a bookshelf (back ordered but arriving soon!). This week I’m going to figure out how to store his eleventy million stuffed friends — fortunately he also has a closet the size of my first apartment, so that shouldn’t be an issue.

Last night he did a little impromptu song and dance routine about his “new Charlie room.” I think he likes it.

Meanwhile, there’s a twin mattress and box spring in the hallway, partially blocking the door to the playroom. Sigh.

Years ago, when Wade and I moved in together, we got rid of his twin bed. On a fluke, as we were loading things into the cars in the alley behind his apartment, we ran into one of his neighbors and started visiting. It turned out that this man volunteered for a group that provided hospice care for AIDS patients; they were always looking for donations. We have this bed, we told him. Can you use it?

Yes, he said, we can.

It was the best feeling, giving that bed away, even though the donation was totally accidental.

You all have been sharing your give-back stories in the comments here; I’m amazed at what you all do to make your communities a better place to live and grow. Your volunteerism grows organically from your lives, from what matters the most to you.

Keri wrote; “Keith and I have been involved with Relay For Life (the American Cancer Society’s flagship fund raising drive) for the past 7 years. We got involved after Keith was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2001 by joining a team, and then forming our own team the following year. For the past several years I have been a member of the planning committee (except for a year off when I recruited my brother to fill in for me). Our whole family has been involved in one way or another the entire time. It has brought a lot to our lives.”

You’re also doing your part to get your children involved in giving back, which often means respecting the different ways that they choose to give. STL Mom wrote, “My kids are very different about giving. My son is very quick to give away his clothes or toys or books. It’s like pulling teeth to get anything out of my daughters’ room. On the other hand, she wants to donate her proceeds from this weekend’s lemonade stand to an animal shelter.” That sounds eerily like my kids. Hmm.

Danielle is doing a version of the 1:1:1 savings plan with her kids (one part goes to savings, one part to charity, one part to spend). He son has a Tzedaka, or a Jewish charity box. She wrote, “When we give him coins he puts some in his piggy bank and some in his Tzedaka box. We explained it to him a few times and now he willingly does it. The plan is to take the money from both to the store and let him pick out one toy for himself and one to give away. We haven’t done it yet, but he seems excited to do it and talks about it in a way that makes us feel like he ‘gets it’.”

Like Keri, some of you have turned your own experiences of adversity into opportunities to give back. Jenn wrote, “We have spent time in Children’s Hospital with our own child for various medical challenges and we received help when we were in need. Now… We support our Children’s Hospitals in a couple ways. We volunteered by sewing for their grieving center ~ little pocket hearts they give away to families who have lost loved ones… Recently, my daughter and I hosted a sewing party … she and 4 friends made 100 hearts. We plan to host a heart party every year now!” I cannot tell you how much I love this.

In a couple of weeks, Michelle and I will be off to Pioneer Woman’s ranch to shoot our video; we’ll be talking about all the various ways that you can — and do — give back to your communities. In the meantime, we’re looking for more great examples of ways, big and small, to give. Please keep sharing your stories; you are truly an inspiration. On Thursday, I’ll tell you about two of my favorite giving back projects — both of which you can easily replicate in your community. Promise.

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Volunteering is a part of how I was raised. In fact, my husband and I met while volunteering. So, we want to make sure our children understand how important it is to give back. One of the best ways we’ve found for our kids to appreciate what they have is through family sponorship of a child in Compassion. We all write to our child, Sandrine, and pray for her. We talk about her life and our life and I see how she has really become a part of our family. We plan to let our children choose other children to sponsor and grow our family by giving back.

The “new Charlie room” song and dance is killing me with cuteness!
When we bought this place it was a downgrade size wise so we got rid of more furniture than we kept, and it all went to the local transitional housing charity. It really does feel so good to think there are families in need who are able to use all of that. Especially the sentimental pieces, like the bed my parents bought me for my first grown up apartment. I like to think whoever has it now feels the same sense of hope when they go to sleep as I did in those first scary months of living in a strange new place.

I am so glad I am not the only one out there who does little songs and dances. Of course….much cooler that your son was the one doing it…usually I am the one doing it to try and generate excitement for something!

Thanks for highlighting my comment about giving back. It’s been great to read all the comments you got on that post.

It gives me great satisfaction to give unneeded furniture, clothes, toys, etc., to others who truly need and can use them. Coincidentally, I plan to buy new furniture for my daughters’ (shared) bedroom this summer. Genevieve is still in a toddler bed converted from her crib (which she only gave up a few months ago!), and Julia is in the repainted twin bed of my childhood, which is very sweet except when I make the room into a true girls’ room rather than a baby/toddler nursery, I would like my girls’ beds to be a matched set.

Of course this means we will have a convertible crib and a twin bed to finally give away. Some people would be sad about giving away their childhood bed–some 35 years old–but I will be happy to pass it on to someone who will use it and who needs it.

One of the ways that we have involved the kids in giving is on their birthdays. For the past three years our boys have collected items for charitable organizations in our area in lieu of gifts. The organization typically has some tie to the theme of the birthday party. Over time the boys have collected >150 lbs of canned goods for our local food pantry, donated 187 prs of socks for our homeless shelter, send care packages to soldiers in Iraq, and collected items for a therapeutic horseback riding center in our area. The boys have really enjoyed seeing the variety of charities in our area and making an impact in their community.

The first year we did this was a little hard, but now the kids look forward to collecting the items. Plus, they don’t miss out entirely on gifts - they still get some from mom and dad and grandparents.

When I was a kid, I was one of the kids on the Angel Tree. I guess. I didn’t know it existed, but a couple of days before Christmas someone from the Salvation Army would show up with gifts for me and my four siblings. There were other times when we didn’t know where our next meal would come from and a bag of groceries would show up on our porch. That seed was planted deep in my heart and I have always wanted to find a way to give back. When I was grown and working I began giving to toy and food drives. After my son was still born, each year at Christmas time I sponsored an “Angel” boy that was the age he would be that year. Soon my longing to be a mother and my need to give back merged into the dream to give hope and love to kids who were abused, neglected or abandoned. When my marriage of 11 years ended, along with my dreams of having children of my own I started researching what it would take to become a foster parent. Today I am a foster mom to two beautiful kiddos, 21 months and 8 months. I am passionate about the need for foster parents. It’s crazy that several child placing agencies have worked for a month to find a home for this beautiful little girl that just joined my family. No one would take her. In a year I have taken care of 6 children. Some for several months and some for a few days. All of them hold a piece of my heart forever.

[…] the topic. You can be part of the rest of the series by leaving comments on Susan’s blog, Friday Playdate as we continue the series by sharing ideas for the 2nd installment about how we “give […]

Last year I learned about a small group of women who started a movement called “Help a Mother Out” (helpamotherout.org) - they encourage people to donate diapers to homeless families in their communities. Imagine not having enough diapers for your baby! The thought horrified me. Since then I have been working with them to establish a community of diaper-giving in the Los Angeles area. We partner with three agencies that get the diapers directly to people who simply cannot buy them. My children, 5 and 3, help me purchase diapers, load up the car, and count everything for the “kids who don’t have any.” It’s just a little thing, but at least it’s something.

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[…] can be part of the rest of the series by leaving comments on Susan’s blog, Friday Playdate as we continue the series by sharing ideas for the 2nd installment about how we “give back” in […]

We try to serve individually and organically, praying together regularly to be aware of other people’s needs. A month ago nearly all of the families around us were struck by The Plague. So I made the most massive pot of chicken soup and took tupperware containers to everyone. Who else needs to eat? The widow down the street could use some soup, so could my mother-in-law - you get the idea. Organizations are wonderful and can meet many needs. But for the most part I see individuals struggling, people who don’t have such massive needs that they are going to an organization for help, but who need help nonetheless. Our family, probably on a weekly basis, has a conversation about those around us and what their needs may be. We base our weeks, and hopefully our lives, on service to others.

I give to the United Way and donate money to church. And I never throw out anything that I can donate - one year we had our heating system replaced. Our condensing unit was only two years old, but we needed a larger unit to go with our new furnace. The contractor asked if we wanted them to dispose of it for us, and I asked instead of we could donate it to habitat for humanity. He checked into it and we could! It was new enough. But he never would have suggested it on his own.

One of my favorite ways to give back is to do something that benefits children. Around the holidays, our family always sponsors a few children, and purchase and wraps all of their Christmas gifts for them. In the summer, I help run a corporate book and school supply drive. I love knowing that some child will have a present to open, a book to read, or a backback for school because of my efforts.

My children are totally on board, and love helping me pick the things we don’t need anymore. Last year, my daughter donated about 40 books, including princess and Dora books she had outgrown, to our children’s book drive. And she picked them all out herself.

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