March 27, 2006
pointless (but in a funny way)
When Henry started school, I held my breath for the day they would call me and say “Come get the boy! Right NOW!” And when that particular call didn’t come, not even last Monday when Henry stayed ALL DAY without any medication OR any lunch, I got just a little cocky. Because clearly the boy WOULD be able to go to school ONE day a week, leaving me to my own devices for a whole decadent FIVE HOURS each week. Right?
Wrong.
We were completely–COMPLETELY!–grocery-free this morning; we were out of milk and half and half (so no cereal for Wade and no coffee for me) and frozen French toast and peanut butter and fish crackers and tampons and fizzy water and pretty much every imaginable Friday Playdate staple (yes, fizzy water is a staple–it’s not at your house?). First on my list of Things To Do Before 2:30 was GET COFFEE, and then GET GROCERIES. After that were various other important things like FILL OUT CHARLIE’S SCHOOL REGISTRATION and BALANCE CHECKBOOK and START LAUNDRY and WRITE SOMETHING NOT BORING FOR BLOG. It is also possible that STOP AT GAP TO PERUSE SALE RACK was on that list. Just maybe.
But! I didn’t do any of it! Or nearly so.
I got coffee; I even read the New York Times and ate a blueberry muffin! Without sharing! Then I went to the SuperTarget for groceries, without worrying that I would have to drag a crying child away from the Star Wars action figures. On the way, I called to check on Henry’s school registration (the school had cashed our check but not sent us anything, but yes! he’s in! hooray! because we have no backup plan). I zipped through the grocery aisles, got everything I needed, and headed home. Just–JUST–as I put the LAST cold thing in the fridge, the phone rang.
It was Henry’s teacher. Henry needed to come home; he was yelling and pushing and hitting and not doing his work. It was 11:00 and all I had gotten done was the grocery shopping and the coffee getting. And I really needed some more coffee.
Instead, I went and got the boy and we went to lunch (he was a little confused about why I was picking him up early, but before he got upset I said “HEY, let’s go to Gourmet Deli and get a grilled cheese!” and that distracted him) and then we went home and I made two VERY QUICK phone calls and we played chess and then we went and got new soccer shorts and shin guards and we picked Charlie up and took him to meet my friend Christa’s babysitter (because I’m leaving Charlie with her on Wednesday so I can take Henry to speech therapy–have I mentioned that Henry cries EVERY SINGLE TIME we talk about missing school on Wednesdays to go to speech therapy? Yes! Indeed!) and then we came home and I thought dammit, I didn’t get ANYTHING done today.
What was my point? I have no idea, but it MAY have been this: I need a vacation. I have a gift certificate for a massage but I have NO IDEA when I will get to use it. On Thursday morning, I’m getting a haircut, which shoots my morning (in a good way, though, really!); over the weekend, Henry has TWO soccer games. Plus two nights of practice and speech therapy and . . .
My god this parenting thing takes a LOT of time. When am I supposed to eat bonbons and watch soap operas? And get my manicure?
And still, I have no point. Thanks for stopping by!
Posted by Susan @ 4:56 pm • Uncategorized
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March 27th, 2006 at 6:15 pm, Jenorama Says:
Whew!
Holy cow! The whole time I was reading this, I thought it was Friday. Why? Because I am on codeine! For my dental pain!
Your remark about Henry crying every time it is mentioned that he will miss school for speech therapy reminds me so much of Christian.
One day, the Ex was going to be taking the boys out of town on a trip. I was feeling nostalgic, so I showed up at school to take them out to lunch before they went. I had missed Tommy’s lunch, however, so I went to get Christian, right as he was sitting down to lunch!
Now. Most of the time, the Asperger’s is very manageable and doesn’t really inerfere with anything. It just makes him really noisy when he is running around humming and flapping his arms. But he freaked that day. He was so upset and so mad at me, so certain that I was breaking rules that would cause everyone to get mad at HIM, and no amount of reassurance would calm him. But by this time we had already ditched his lunch tray, so he didn’t even have a lunch! I took him down to his special ed teacher’s room to calm him, and he just really wanted me to go, so I left (and went and got him lunch and then brought it back to her classroom for him).
She had him call me later and talk to me so that I could hear that he was fine now, and he thanked me for lunch, and everything was fine. But even now, he doesn’t like me to deviate from how things are done at school because that is HOW THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE.
On the other hand? He LOVED speech therapy. Absolutely adored it. There will come a day when Henry will think that everybody goes to speech therapy (well, maybe not), and he will adore it too. It’s a whole hour of one-on-one time! What’s not to like? Both of my kids adored it. He just doesn’t know what to expect yet, and he may think he is going to get into trouble.
This has worked before: Make a book with your lovely iBook. Use clip art! And pictures from the internet of happy children. In the book, write about a boy who is going to speech therapy, and how fun it is, and how he did not get into trouble, and exactly every moment of what it was like. Very simply though.
Read it to Henry. I think that might help. But first? Print it out and staple it together to be sort of like a real book. I know he is smart enough to know the difference, but sometimes it helps all of us to see it in black and white, now doesn’t it?
March 27th, 2006 at 6:29 pm, Susan Says:
Jen, the one and only other time I have had to collect Henry early from school (because he was having some problems with his meds) he was HYSTERICAL because he thought he would be in trouble. Yes, really!
And this: he is specifically mad NOT because he has to go to speech therapy (because what does he know from speech therapy?) but because he will miss his little PE class–the PE class that he has never ONCE talked about.
No, sorry, that’s not true: he has talked about it twice, once when his friend Luke fell off a balance beam (which was funny) and once when they did yoga (which was boring). But for the most part it’s ten dollars a month that I could be spending on shoes but am tossing away on PE. For a kid who DOES NOT need the exercise.
And now he’s crying because he will miss it. I love this job.
March 27th, 2006 at 8:18 pm, standing still for once Says:
Chant with me now. “I am a good mother. I am a good mother. I will not give away my children, even tho’ it is tempting. I can shop a tiny bit from my computer on e-bay and it will seem like the sale rack at the Gap … and I can find a drive thru Starbucks, just perhaps, and one day my children WILL stay in school all day long, precisely because I am a good mother and giving them what they need right now.” Okay, now go hit something, not someone, something.
March 27th, 2006 at 9:36 pm, Granny Says:
I get some of this with Rebecca but not to the same extent.
What a day you had but at least you were finished with the groceries and didn’t have to leave a cart in the middle of the store.
Best wishes. I keep up with your posts but I don’t usually comment. I save that to annoy Jen.
Ann
March 27th, 2006 at 10:00 pm, MJ Says:
On Friday, I (finally!) returned to my yoga class and my instructor complimented me on my new hair style. I laughed. Not only do I not have time to go to yoga I have no time for haircuts (or colouring); hence, I have a lovely new hairstyle (if one can call it that). Just think of all that time I wasted before children booking appointments for haircuts. Ha.
There was some link between my comment and your post but I’m not quite sure what it is now as I’m really tired. I think it’s something about never having time to get things done or only getting bits of things done so I can totally relate to having a portion of the to-do list completed.
March 27th, 2006 at 10:05 pm, Susan Says:
MJ, my pointlessness has begun to infect everyone. Yes! Beware! You will be next!
Maybe THAT was the point of this post . . .
March 28th, 2006 at 1:19 am, Miss Understood Says:
Oh, the joys of Motherhood. Believe me - this will continue for a very very long time, so stock up on that coffee!
Great blog - I loved it!
March 28th, 2006 at 2:41 am, The Daring One Says:
“Points” are for losers! Fizzy water on the other hand is for….you, I think. Does anyone else like fizzy water?
You are very good-humored. I’m sorry you don’t get to sit around like the rest of us and eat bon-bons and watch TV. Seriously, it sounds like you’ve been getting more than your fair share of “motherhood.” Enjoy the haircut but don’t do anything drastic. I seriously like it the way it is.
March 28th, 2006 at 2:42 am, The Daring One Says:
I really like telling people what to do on their blogs.
March 28th, 2006 at 8:06 am, Candace Says:
You should come visit me. I’ll make Mr. Foot take the kids away for the weekend and we can drink fizzy water and read trashy magazines and there will be no children.
But on another note, I so totally empathize with the “things must be THIS way because they ARE”. I think, *crossing fingers*, that we may, possibly, might be leaving that stage with Christopher.
Probably.
March 28th, 2006 at 9:15 am, Kristen Says:
I think your reaction to picking up Henry is exactly what’s going to help him get better at managing with or without medication, or with new medication, etc. You picked him up and took him to lunch and played with him! No stress, no guilt, no reason for him to associate school and school behavior with anxiety.
Um, and yeah. This all takes a lot of damn time. Geez.
March 29th, 2006 at 8:44 pm, Heather Says:
I think I would die if we ran out of fizzy water. But I’m not sure because it has never happened. Definitely a staple at chez Miles.