March 4, 2010

reeeeeeead to meeeeee!

When Henry was a toddler, he would bring us book after book and insist that we read to him, literally for hours on end. I would hear those PSAs that suggested parents read with their kids for 20 minutes a day and would weep because at the 20 minute mark, Henry was just getting warmed up. I dreamed of having a child who only wanted to have 20 minutes of story time. What a nice break that would be!

(I have that child, by the way. His name is Charlie.)

Henry would come to us with a book and hold it out; if we didn’t respond fast enough he would push it into our hands or laps. And if that didn’t work, he would haul off and hit us with it, because dammit woman, your job is to reeeeeeead to meeeeeee! Except of course that since he didn’t talk (AT ALL, no lie) he would just smack us with the board book or picture book and then wait until the reading started. It was crazy.

When he was a little older, maybe three, and was finally talking, he would memorize books; he would ask us to read the same book over and over and over and then sit on the floor and recite the exact words on every page. It was annoying but at least it was a break from reading.

These days, Henry is writing stories about superheros and their adventures; occasionally, his stories are about conflicts that sound suspiciously like the ones he has with other kids at school. It is fascinating to see how he is using stories to work through what’s on his mind. This year has been all about distinguishing between kids who are really your friends and kids who are not; we’ve talked a lot about how he is required to be kind to everyone, but how he does not have to make any extra effort with the mean kids. And of course, we’ve talked about the point at which he needs to go to an adult for help with the mean kids, and how to know when he’s at that point.

It’s not a conversation I love, but it’s one we need to have, and to keep having.

As part of that conversation, we tell stories — about things he’s done with his good friends, about what Wade and I do with our friends, about times when friends have really come through for us. The stories give him a way to grasp what it means to say that someone is a friend, and just like when he was a toddler, he latches on to those narratives and replays them over and over in his head.

And hopefully, they help.

 * * * * *

Stories are one simple way to get inside your kids’ heads, to give them a script for the things in their life that can seem overwhelming and scary. We tell stories about the first day of school and the first night in a big kid bed and all the days in between. We tell stories about being brave and being independent and being kind. GoodNites has gathered these stories in their Bedtime Theater campaign, to give parents a way to open the door to talking with kids about difficult and important issues.

It’s a good project. (Although that link, to the Bedtime Theater site, has sound, so be warned. Sorry.)

They’ve also provided a super cool gift pack for me to give away today — let’s recap what’s in it, shall we? An iPod shuffle, a pair of Logitech speakers,  a $25 iTunes gift card, and a super soft cuddle blanket, all of which comes packed in a reusable Patagonia bag. The whole thing is valued at $175, which is not too shabby.

The winner of the second GoodNites Bedtime Theater gift bag is Mama Bear, who wrote “My daughter learned to read by ‘reading’ The Very Hungry Caterpillar to us after we had read it to her. She was brilliant!” Yes she was! And what a great memory.

There’s still time to win — I’m giving away one more gift pack on Monday, March 8; to enter, leave a comment on the original giveaway post by midnight Sunday night. And don’t forget that the GoodNites people are giving $2500 for the best contribution to their Iggy and his Wiggy Bed series, which is awesome.

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® for this series of posts and giveaways; I am being compensated for my participation in the Bedtime Theater program and for hosting these giveaways, not for promoting a product. Just so we’re all clear.

March 3, 2010

three!

Yesterday was a good day. The kind of day where a door closed but an even better window opened. Three windows, in fact.

Three good things happened yesterday, and while I cannot tell you what they are, I can tell you this: March is off to a very good start. And it’s only going to get better.

My Day of Good Things included an unplanned lunch date with my husband, which was lovely not only because it was an hour of adult conversation with one of my favorite people, but also because it meant getting dressed and leaving the house to go somewhere other than the grocery or the carpool line. That in itself is a good thing.

This dress was $40 at Ann Taylor and is easily one of the best things in my closet, although despite the fact that I wear it quite literally all the time, I only yesterday realized that it has those little loops in the shoulder to hold my bra straps. Hooray! And the necklace — which I also wear all the time — is J. Crew via eBay, also for $40, which makes it a very good thing.

Big things are coming, you all, and I’m so excited I can hardly stand it.  But for now it’s your turn: tell me something good that’s happened to you this week. Anything at all! No good thing is too small.

Ready? Share.

March 1, 2010

Goodnight, Moon

Charlie was sick over the weekend — he has strep throat, again. Honestly, I was a little relieved when the culture came back positive, because it meant that we could load him up with antibiotics and get on with our lives.

But still, it was a bummer that he was sick.

The upside of sick kids at this age is that feeling crummy slows them down enough that they suddenly want to snuggle. Seven and nine-year-old boys are very busy people; sometimes, it feels like they’re only interested in parents when they need food or money or a ride somewhere. Which is sad because I still need a hug every single day. Many hugs on some days.

Charlie felt terrible on Thursday night; at bedtime, he climbed under the covers and told Wade to send me in to read to him. And so we smashed into his twin bed and read a whole pile of picture books and then talked about how we would go to the doctor in the morning and probably have another throat culture and how that would be icky but necessary and then he would feel better. Poor baby.

Bedtime is the hardest part of the day for me sometimes; I’m tired, the kids are tired, we’re all processing our day and trying to wrap things up and unwind all at once. It’s hard for me not to fall into that zone where I’m tucking them in and mentally making my to-do list for the next day; it’s hard for me to stay present after so many hours of working and parenting. But in the same way that I start fretting about tomorrow, my kids will sometimes start worrying about today. It’s a good moment for both of us — all of us — to stop and snuggle and focus on this moment and not some other.

 * * * * *

GoodNites wants to encourage you to take time to snuggle with your little ones; they’ve created their Bedtime Theater program to give you a way to create stories about being brave and kind and independent. Read all about Iggy and his Wiggy bed, and then make up your own story. (Warning: That link totally has sound. Sorry about that.)

So who won the first GoodNites gift pack? Kimberly, who said that her favorite bedtime story was — ready for this? — “How can it not be GoodNite Moon? Ahhhh I love that book.”

Ha! I love that.

Congratulations to Kimberly — and good luck to the rest of you, who still have a chance to win (next giveaway is Thursday, March 4). I’m giving away two more super cool gift packs (leave a comment on the original giveaway post to enter), and the GoodNites people are giving $2500, which is awesome.

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® for this series of posts and giveaways; I am being compensated for my participation in the Bedtime Theater program and for hosting these giveaways, not for promoting a product. Just so we’re all clear.