September 13, 2005
ow, my eye! and a few other fashion pronouncements
I snuggled into Charlie’s bed this evening to read stories, but since he’s all hepped up on Triaminic (yes, he’s sick! already! and fall doesn’t officially start for another nine days!) he spent most of his story time climbing on me and yelling, ‘No! I will read the story!’ and then ripping the book out of my hands. After the second or third time, I gave up and got comfortable while he showed me pictures from his books. ‘Look! A teapot! I want to live in a teapot!’ I would have fallen asleep, except he kept shoving the books RIGHT in front of my face, to be SURE I could see the teapot.
Then he announced that I was a princess and I needed a crown! And he hopped out of bed and fetched the tiara from the bottom of a pile of god only knows what all crap on his floor and scrambled back up to crown me. And poked me in the eye with the damn thing. Twice. Fortunately, I was wearing my glasses so I didn’t actually LOSE the eye, but still, it was painful. And not very cute.
But now that I am officially a princess, I feel that I can reiterate my earlier pronouncement that no one over the age of, say, three, should ever wear white shoes. For ANY reason. You’re a nurse? Get some Crocs. Getting married? How about some lovely silver sandals? I am so serious.
And while I’m making fashion pronouncements (and if you know me in person you know how funny THAT is), let’s talk about low-waisted pants. I LOVE the low waist phenomena. In fact, I’m wearing a pair of low-rider jeans RIGHT NOW. They are super comfy; they give my little Mommy Roll a place to rest (you know what I mean–that little doughy spot on your tummy that will NEVER GO AWAY, even when the babies are grown and have their own homes and children). HOWEVER, there are two important rules for low-riders. First, if you are over, say, 35, your shirt must touch your waistband when you are standing up. That way, when you sit down, no one has to see the roll. I hate to be brutal, but there it is. Cover the tummy, people. Second, and most important, is this: if you opt for low-waisted pants, please, for the love of god, buy some appropriate underwear! No I don’t mean a sexy black thong; I mean underwear that can’t be seen when you sit down. They call it underwear FOR A REASON. And I don’t want to see yours, especially if I haven’t had my coffee yet.
And now it’s time for me to go to bed. I am exhausted, and I’m blaming my friend M. This summer she graciously invited me to her book group; I finally got my act together in August and went, and it was fun, even if all the other women are lawyers (just JOKING). And this month they are reading The Time Traveller’s Wife, which is an incredibly beautiful and engaging novel. I’ve been staying up until all hours of the night reading and I’m beat. Why couldn’t they pick a boring book?
(Wade is in the other room flipping around on the TV, and he just stopped on some show where two hot fashionista chicks were talking about how NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR in your low-rider jeans. Ha ha! So there! TV agrees with me. Cover it up, ladies.)
Posted by Susan @ 6:27 pm • Uncategorized
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September 13th, 2005 at 7:18 pm, M&Co. Says:
Need to fix that link GirlFriend.
And hey we’re not all lawyers. Just most of us.
September 13th, 2005 at 8:22 pm, MIM Says:
I’m with you, Sistah. If I see one more belly roll or nasty pair of undies, I may vomit. Literally. In public. In fact, I may vomit right now just thinking about it.
September 13th, 2005 at 8:44 pm, educat Says:
Mommies and gals in their 30’s have not cornered the market on belly, ladies. I see more teen girl belly in a day than I would ever need in a lifetime.
I got nothing against bellies, I am an owner/operator myself, I just don’t want to see them.
September 13th, 2005 at 9:15 pm, McSwain Says:
I pulled an all-nighter (and I am WAY too old for that) reading The Time Traveller’s Wife because I couldn’t put it down. Have fun at the book club!
September 14th, 2005 at 6:52 am, Mary P. Says:
Yes! Cover that belly roll! Another tip for low-rise jeans, which I, too, wear and love: They should NOT be tight. Tight low-rise jeans dig into your hips and MAKE a roll, you girls, whether you have one or not. (Which I do, when I sit: I am over forty and with three children under my belt. Literally.)
September 14th, 2005 at 6:56 am, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
My teacher friends and I all discussed how this year, if thongs are still peaking out from low-riders in class, they’ll wear granny panties up to their armpits with low-riders……just to prove how ridiculous ANY underwear looks out of the pants.
September 14th, 2005 at 7:03 am, Susan Says:
Here’s what startles me the most about the low-rise pants: how often I see otherwise well-groomed and expensively dressed women with the granny panties up over the waistband of the pants.
See, it seems like they ought to KNOW better. And while I still say no to the very pretty thong peeking out (we DO NOT want to see ANY underwear), at least that seems to be a thoughtful fashion statement, unlike the granny panties, which just seem . . . wrong.
I have low-waist jeans on again today! But you can’t see my underwear–I made Wade check before he left. Just in case I run into any of you at the Starbucks this morning.
September 14th, 2005 at 12:31 pm, Candace Says:
Yup. What you said.
September 14th, 2005 at 5:18 pm, Homestead Says:
Go Commando.
That is all.
September 14th, 2005 at 5:19 pm, Homestead Says:
Just kidding. (in case I see any of you at Starbucks….)
That is all.
September 14th, 2005 at 7:02 pm, Susan Says:
But was she going commando, do you think?
Then again, DON’T think about it. Really.
September 17th, 2005 at 1:27 pm, jill Says:
Going commando is the best way to prevent any underwear from showing for sure. I love low-riders too! Please don’t tell me my mommy pouch will never go away though…I’ve come to terms with it only because I just know I will get rid of it someday.