August 22, 2008
Oprahism
My kids are back in school these days, which makes some of my friends angry but makes me really really happy (not gloating! I promise! I paid a LOT of money to have my kids go back this early, trust me). The first week has gone without a hitch, except for my confusion about which days last week the boys had to wear their ties to school, but I still maintain that it was NOT MY FAULT.
For the second year in a row, one of the holy days of obligation fell during the first half week of school. I got confused about which day was the holy day; usually the kids go to Mass on Thursday, but LAST year they went on Wednesday which was the first day of school and of course I didn’t know that so Henry did NOT have his tie on. This year I thought I had it all figured out and told my mother that since the first day of school was on THURSDAY there would be Mass and the boys needed to wear their ties, except THIS year the holy day fell on FRIDAY and so there was no Mass on Thursday just on Friday.
And no I don’t know which holy day it was; if I knew that we wouldn’t have had this problem in the first place, right? Right.
The boys wore their ties both days last week because I am an idiot. Fortunately they are young enough that this probably won’t scar them for life, and this whole first-day-of-school-is-a-holy-day thing won’t happen again for like five years. Of course by then I will have forgotten all about the holy day AGAIN and will most likely send the kids in the wrong clothes — and by then they absolutely WILL be old enough to hold it against me.
I’m kind of looking forward to that, honestly.
Anyway they’re back in school and I have 35 hours to myself again, which is great since working without childcare this summer was about as pleasant as that part of my labor with Henry when I thought I would have to give birth without an epidural, but instead of dropping the kids off at school and reveling in the fact that NO ONE WAS TALKING TO ME, I decided that I needed to Do Something Useful with my time.
Because I am unable to just kick back and enjoy the silence. Seriously. (Also, OMG I had to go back THREE YEARS for that post. Wow.)
On the way home last weekend, Wade and I spent a lovely afternoon in Terminal A of the Newark International Airport. And lest you miss my sarcasm, let me say that our afternoon there was probably a pretty good dry run for the third circle of Hell. Our flight was rescheduled I don’t know how many times, our gate was changed even MORE times, and every monitor in the wee tiny waiting area had some different information about both the flight and the gate. There were eleventy million people (PRECISELY THAT MANY, I know because I counted them) smashed into a space the size of a Volkswagon and all we could hear when the airline staff made annoucements about delays and gate changes was “Wah wah wah wah wah” like the voice of Miss Othmar in the old Peanuts movies.
At one point a gate agent got up to announce the continued delay of a flight (not ours, fortunately) and told all the passengers that the flight was going to be late because of an issue with a crew member. A few minutes later, he announced that they were still waiting on the crew member. THEN he announced that it was the FIRST OFFICER who was LATE and as soon as he GOT HERE the plane would TAKE OFF.
I was waiting for him to give out the poor man’s name and cell phone number because it was ALL HIS FAULT that no one was getting to Boise that day.
Seriously, it was like being in hell.
Fortunately, I had an O magazine (which, funnily enough, I had purchased in the Newark airport on the way TO Beijing and then never read! Wade carried it all the way to China AND BACK for me and by the end of the trip I felt like WHOA I better read that or he might beat me to death with it because O magazine? is HEAVY). In the thirty five hours we waited for our flight (no, not really, more like two, I think) I read every word of that magazine.
And at the end I felt like I really needed to get my act together and be a Better Person because my god if Oprah can do it why can’t I?!?
So I decided that it was time to start exercising, because there’s no one left to potty train at my house and god knows I’m not going to clean. On Monday I took the kids to school and spent the entire day answering the four million emails that had piled up last week; on Tuesday, I bought new walking shoes and yoga pants and a sports bra and socks because it has been so long since I exercised that I did not own any exercise gear. On Wednesday, I walked. For half an hour.
And again on Thursday, and today.
My thighs and ass hurt so much I can hardly move. Also I have worn YOGA PANTS to school drop off every day, and haven’t showered until after lunch. And I am squarely blaming Oprah.
Then again, my kids are in school, so I’ve got that going for me.
Posted by Susan @ 1:50 pm • everyday life
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August 22nd, 2008 at 4:07 pm, gorillabuns Says:
I’m so glad to see you have crossed over to the dark with yoga pants at school. Did you walk by yourself? You know I’ll walk with you on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s which will probably equate to three times this year.
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:19 pm, HeatherK Says:
School that starts that early makes me want to be your neighbor. Sept 8th is like forever away. You’ve only just now discovered yoga pants as drop-off line attire? You know you can totally skip the yoga part, right? Oh, wait, that’s probably not helping your resolve. Go, you! Exercise! Woo!
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:47 pm, Miguelina Says:
Good for you! Now I feel guilty for planning to sit on my ass on the two days my kids are in playschool. I was planning to wear yoga pants, so there’s that.
August 22nd, 2008 at 4:48 pm, NancyJak Says:
I remember the days of walking to church from school for Holy Day mass. Back in the dark ages we didn’t start school til the Wed. after Labor Day so I don’t think there were any Holy Days in there (and we definitely didn’t go just because it was the first day of school). Ah, uniforms of gray and green plaid wool and knee socks in the heat of summer - good times, good times.
What IS IT with the airport delays recently? I was at the hair salon and one of the stylists was talking about the heck of a time he had getting from California to NYC. He ended up via Miami instead of Dallas. They overbooked the plane by 60 people and he was #1 on standby. I think I’m glad I’m so poor right now I can’t fly anywhere!
August 22nd, 2008 at 7:41 pm, Blythe Says:
I often wonder if the airport really IS a circle of hell. Like the people who believe hell is just the bad parts of our current existence, and heaven is the good parts? For me, hell is the airport security line, traveling alone with the baby in the Bjorn, trying to fold up my stroller and shove it through the X-ray machine without dumping him on his head.
Also, I’m extremely impressed that you remembered Miss Othmar’s name.
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:35 pm, Jane Says:
I can not wait for a day where there is no one is talking to me. My oldest started kindergarten this week, I had no idea how much chatter she intercepted from my 2YO. He.Won’t.Stop.
Congrats on the walking!
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:43 pm, N in Ohio Says:
I’m not sure where I found you…but you are on my “must read.”
I’m in the “don’t shower until after lunch” and “can’t move because I’m trying to get back into shape” club too … welcome!
August 22nd, 2008 at 10:43 pm, All Adither Says:
Did you have to Google that Miss Othmar, or did you really know it offhand?
August 22nd, 2008 at 10:48 pm, kimblahg Says:
maybe it was the olympic athletes that really inspired you, not oprah. you are exercising for michael phelps!
August 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 am, Rebecca Says:
Umm, are yoga pants bad to wear for normal every day clothes? And as long as a shower happens every day, who cares when?
August 23rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm, Sue Says:
Ok, so if reading Oprah turned you into me (at least the “not showering and yoga pants in the carpool line” part - not the actual walking part), then I wonder what I need to read to turn into you (or the old, showering and really nicely dressed you)
Seriously, I don’t think I read a single blog where school hasn’t started yet. I’m feeling very alone with 233 more hours to go. Hooray for 35 hours alone. (At least until the first kid gets sick.)
August 23rd, 2008 at 2:38 pm, Catherine Says:
Not that you’re prone to forget, but yoga pants are only acceptable to drop kids off at school if there’s actual exercise immediately before or after said drop-off.
I know I read that somewhere. From someone smart. Same person who told me I can wear red peep toe shoes without being a pole-dancer. You should totally take her advice, she’s an awesome dresser.
August 23rd, 2008 at 8:27 pm, Jordan Says:
Well, thank god. This makes me feel much better. See how you can end up in the yoga pants at school drop-off when you exercise in the morning??
And how you knew the name of the teacher from Peanuts, I’ll never know.
Damn, we still have a week before school starts. Enjoy!!
August 23rd, 2008 at 11:33 pm, Kim Says:
This entire post is why I have come to love you so much.
August 24th, 2008 at 6:26 am, Poppy Says:
Two people already commented on your remembering Charlie Brown’s teacher’s name. Maybe three–I can’t count this early in the day. Or think an original thought, apparently.
Yoga pants + lip gloss + sunglasses is the morning look around here. I’d be on it like white on rice except the yoga pants are supposed to be worn on top of a trim, taut, yogini butt. Unfortunately I can’t find mine, somehow, even though I’ve gone through my entire drawer full of work-out clothes.
Enjoy the silence! Nameste!
August 24th, 2008 at 11:50 am, STL Mom Says:
As long as you don’t pick your kids up still wearing the yoga pants, still not having showered, still not having gotten any exercise seven hours later. Not that I would know anything about that!
My daughter starts school on the 28th, my son on the 2nd. I think I really will go to yoga, for the first time since May.
August 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm, RookieMom Whitney Says:
Funny, I just stopped by because I’m working on my Sleep is for the Weak review. And guess what, further confirmation that we should be BFFs despite the geographical obstacles, I myself have just engaged in an exercise kick. And in a “leave the house looking presentable” kick, but I’m not going to burden you with that. For me this means, no yoga pants, somewhat styled hair and make up. So I am with you in the sore thighs department as I have gone running twice this week
August 26th, 2008 at 8:37 pm, Tracee Sioux Says:
I read almost every word of O Magazine every month because it always makes me feel like I deserve the hot bath, the yoga hour, the exercise, the healthy food, the self esteem, and the right to say NO to people at church and school when they never ask the Daddies to WORK FOR FREE.
August 26th, 2008 at 9:06 pm, Kelly Says:
There is a woman that is trying to “live the Oprah way” for a year. She is following the advice in the magazine, website and show. It’s a really interesting read.
www.livingoprah.com