May 29, 2008
my god she’s 39! that’s nearly DEAD you know!
This is the kind of post that requires a back story, and for that I apologize. My friend Caroline and I have known each other since high school; one year we double dated to Winter Ball. And then we grew up and found ourselves living in Oklahoma City, with kids who were about the same age. Small world!
Also, Caroline is a year younger than I am. That’s important later. You know, when I get to the actual story.
First, though, there’s a little more back story: a while back (no I don’t remember when but not too long ago) Caroline and I met at the Omniplex or the Oklahoma Science Museum or whatever the hell they’re calling it these days to try to distract us from the director who was stealing stuff and the anatomy exhibit that turned out to be the illegally acquired bodies of Chinese laborers.
Nope, still not to the back story! I’m getting there.
So we took the boys to the science center place which they all love and we kind of tolerate, which is easier to do when we’re there together and not alone with our kids pretending like we care about the echo tunnel and the mirror maze. They’ve recently added a new feature called the Gadget Tree, which is a gigantic indoor tree house, the kind of place where little boys can play for hours while their mommies sit on the bench near the AC vent and gossip. It has a huge twisty slide that is seriously two stories tall and apparently VERY FAST, according to my son. The last time we were there, Caroline — who is a MUCH cooler mom than I am — went down the twisty slide with the kids, and reported that it really was VERY FAST.
The boys thought that was SO COOL. They asked if I were planning to go down the ginormous twisty slide; I believe I said something akin to HELL NO.
End back story. Mostly.
Today I took the boys to the science center place and on a total FLUKE we ran into Caroline and her boys, which may have saved me from trying to kill myself by, uh, I can’t think now but I’m sure the science museum has SOMETHING dangerous enough to put me out of the misery of an entire morning of chasing my kids from exhibit to exhibit while they demand, “What does THIS do?” over and over. Anyway, the boys played and played and played and Caroline and I got all caught up and it was a great playdate even if it wasn’t planned.
And now we’re to the actual story! Thank god.
Tonight at dinner the boys were recounting their day for Wade and Charlie was describing the Gadget Tree (too simple to say “It’s a tree house! With slides!” Oh no he has to lovingly linger over every single nail and piece of wood until we were all glassy eyed and comatose) and eventually he gets to the Great Big Twisty Slide.
Henry says, “Today I went down the big slide with my hands and feet in the air, and JUST my bottom on the slide, like this (demonstrates) and it was REALLY FAST!”
“I’ve heard that slide is fast,” I say.
“It IS!” Charlie says, “The last time we were there, I went down the twisty slide and bumped my elbow right HERE.”
“I’ll bet that hurt,” I say. “You have to be careful on the fast slides.”
“You did NOT go down the slide,” he says, very seriously.
“No, I did not. It’s too fast for me.”
“How do you know?” he asks.
“Well remember when we were there last time and Caroline went down the big slide? She told me it was pretty fast and kind of scary and I believe her.”
“WAIT A MINUTE!” he yells. “You’re going to believe some OLD LADY instead of your OWN SON?”
And then he repeated it about thirty five times because Wade and I were laughing too hard to stop him.
Posted by Susan @ 8:23 pm • Henry&Charlie, good people
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May 29th, 2008 at 8:46 pm, HeatherK Says:
Ooops! But funneh! My 4yo started calling my sister a crazy old lady. She’s only 13 months older than I am, so I guess that makes me quite nearly a crazy old lady! I have my excuse for the twisty slide…that’s where the 2yo broke her leg. So nice to have the ‘Do you really want to try and break your other leg?’ excuse in my back pocket.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:04 pm, Jenny Says:
I haven’t been to the Omniplex since Junior High so I know not of the Gadget Tree’s Great Big Twisty Slide. Must be a newish addition. Newish of course meaning constructed in the last 20 years.
I’d take my two youngest but I think the little one would get us on the barred persons list. In record time.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:03 pm, Erika Says:
I was just telling my son the other day how when I was a kid I thought 30 was OLD. I mean “about to retire” old. I am 34. Yeah.
May 29th, 2008 at 10:26 pm, standing still Says:
“Yes, sweetheart, because Mommy’s friend the old lady is old enough to pour Mommy a martini. And when you are old enough to drive to the liquor store on a Saturday night so that Mommy doesn’t inconveniently run out of cocktail fixings on a Sunday or a Monday holiday, Mommy will believe you, too.”
May 29th, 2008 at 11:03 pm, Angella Says:
Ha!
Graham asked me how old I was. When I told him I was 33, he got all concerned and asked if I was going to die soon.
Awesome.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:23 pm, Heather B. Says:
You’re my damn decrepit friend, Susan. I mean we’re friends and all but I know that soon you’ll be in the old folks home. But I’ll visit. Don’t worry!
May 29th, 2008 at 11:29 pm, gorillabuns Says:
What’s with the world lately telling me I’m old at 39? It needs to shut-it!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:47 am, Annika Says:
Jeez, Susan. Listening to some OLD LADY.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:36 am, Rebecca Says:
Kids really say the funniest things!
We saw that treehouse thing last summer when we were in town. It was pretty awesome, my boys loved it.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:12 am, Kelley Says:
*snort* don’t you just love ‘em when they are NOT insulting you?
Boo keeps talking about his ‘old parents’ turns out he is talking about his grandparents. Phew.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:26 am, Chalna Says:
hmmm…my little Colin is only 10 months old…I am starting to get scared. I see many Great Big Twisty Slides in my future. As an “old person”, that is very scary.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:43 am, Sue Says:
Ha! That Charlie makes me laugh! I lost my kids in one of those treehouses last weekend. And HELL no I am not climbing up there OR going down a 2 story slide. I’m an old lady. I could break a hip or something.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:51 am, Sue Says:
and ewww on the illegal Chinese bodies!
May 30th, 2008 at 9:14 am, Meredith Krumenacker Says:
Haha that is too funny! I’m curious to know what Caroline’s reaction was to that story.
In Charlie’s defense (sort of), numbers are all skewed when you’re young. I think my grandmother’s proudest moment when I was really young and trying to guess her age, which at the time was about 65. My guess was 45. I think I ended up with some extra Christmas gifts that year . . .
May 30th, 2008 at 9:24 am, Velma Says:
I’d really like to hear more about the body-snatching museum director. Methinks I will go Google!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 pm, Aurora Says:
so so so funny. Now I want to go down the REALLY FAST slide!
May 30th, 2008 at 1:15 pm, Shan Says:
Oh my God, I am laughing so hard at this. Thanks for the levity, Susan!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:54 pm, becky Says:
I would totally go down the slide, because I love stuff like that. And am not one foot in the grave like you old ladies. *snort*
(I’m what, 5 years younger?)
May 31st, 2008 at 7:59 am, Angela Says:
You should have seen my kids calculating how old their parents would be when we open our time capsule (back story=new school!) in 50 years. They’ll be old! Like at least 80 or almost 90. I bet they won’t call their parents old anytime soon!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm, A. Berkoski Says:
Oh my gosh how hilarious. I love this and sometimes can’t wait for my kids to say funny things just like this.
June 1st, 2008 at 6:55 pm, blackbird Says:
Thank god they’ve never seen ME.
(I’ve spent a lot of time in that museum - and I think they called it something different back then too.)
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:59 pm, Char Says:
Thanks for the laugh!
June 5th, 2008 at 7:26 am, Jeanne Says:
I love this story! Thanks for the laughs!
My kids don’t think of us as really old yet since they had a great-grandmother who lived to be nearly 104! So, according to them we’ve got some mileage left in us.
July 14th, 2008 at 1:01 am, Letty Says:
I am laughing so effin’ hard at this story of yours.
Hope I don’t break a hip!