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Filed Under pretty things on October 25, 2007

Henry woke up at 4:30 this morning, coughing. At 4:50, he got up and went to the bathroom, which involved talking to himself and turning the water on and off four hundred times. At 5:09, I got up to start my day.

I am TIRED, people. I’ve had one of those weeks where there was ONE too many things to do every day, things like have three cavities filled! and buy furniture! and clean the bathrooms before we all die from whatever it is you catch when little boys pee on the floor every single day! This week those one-too-many daily things got in the way of all the things I’m really supposed to be doing with my days, like WORKING, and also some things I just really enjoy doing, like SLEEPING.

Thank GOD for the concealer. And for coffee. Where would I be without concealer and coffee? In the fetal position under my dining room table, that’s where.

I bought a new dining room table today (speaking of!), and a sideboard, and I am very excited about them but for now you will have to take my word that they are beautiful and perfect because the only pictures I have were taken with my cell phone and really don’t do the pieces justice, mostly because they don’t SHOW you anything, but whatever. Let’s just say I will have more room to curl up in the fetal position once the new table arrives.

Speaking of things that have no relation to the things that came before them, I bought new mascara! In the interest of Science or Beauty or Not Spending a Fortune to Have Mascara All Over My Face (or all three, what the hell), I have decided to start road testing drugstore mascaras. First up: Maybelline Volum’ Express, in the WATERPROOF formula. I think I paid five dollars for it, which is SUBSTANTIALLY less than the Dior NOT WATERPROOF mascara.

The label says WATERPROOF! Yeah, baby.

I nearly didn’t buy this particular mascara, not because I know anything bad about it (I know NOTHING about it, except that it’s WATERPROOF and requires heavy-duty makeup remover to take off, which is EXACTLY what I want) — I nearly didn’t buy it because Maybelline’s decision not to spell out the word “volume” in the product name kind of irks me. I may not be able to get past that, in fact, unless it turns out that this is The Perfect Mascara, in which case I will see what I can do.

I will report back tomorrow, after I have worn the mascara. If you are really lucky, there will be photos! But don’t hold your breath. Also, if you’re really REALLY lucky, I will show you what else I am wearing these days, in addition to the World’s Best Eye Cream and the Miracle Concealer. Although without the eye cream and concealer, it wouldn’t matter what else I was wearing, honestly.

And now, Internet, I am going to wash the mascara off my face and go to bed. The end.

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I have to admit, I avoid waterproof mascara because it’s SO DANG DIFFICULT TO GET OFF! I’m so lazy.

And I’ve been using Great Lash for like. . . six years. So it might be time to find something better since I’m not exactly bowled over by it, sadly.

That is a perfectly good reason to reject a product. Take a stand against unnecessary goofy spelling. I refuse to patronize businesses that use excessive apostrophe, as in “Shoe’s on sale!” NOT POSSESSIVE.

I still use Cover Girl Marathon mascara. It’s the only thing, by 5:00, that doesn’t make me look like I’ve been punched in both eyes.

What DO you catch when little boys pee on the floor every single day, by the way? I’ve been wondering. Though I’d like not to find out the hard way.

I think I may have to join you in the fetal position under your new (and lovely) dining room table. I may not be able to wait until you’ve taken delivery. I haven’t started wearing mascara again but I did get an eyelash curler so I’m getting closer. I have been wearing a lot of liquid eyeliner lately. I kind of like the dark look. Now, if only I could remember NOT to rub my eyes.

I hop yu lik th nw Volum! mascar. Rport bak!

I have this mascara. And I hate it. It gets all clumpy.

I am sorry, why don’t you consult me before these major purchases.

Although now I am thinking maybe if I had some of that special remover it would be better. Hmmmm, maybe I should go to target.

Jordan, that’s funny.

Not to be one of those annoying people that corrects everyone, but the “e” isn’t on the end because it’s trying to be Parisian. I know there’s all this animosity against France and the French, but they are the fashion capital of the world and that’s how they spell volume.

I’ve heard that waterproof mascara clumps much more quickly, so I’ve been trying not waterproof. I found this good one that has a lengthening side, which is white (goes on first) then a volumizing side that adds the color. It does come in waterproof though. It’s Maybelline Intense XXL. It costs $5.48 at the Walmart in Oklahoma…

It’s still a misspelling though, at least according to my French dictionary.

Hello, I am a geek who just looked up VOLUME in my Larousse! Good lord.

I looked at the Maybelline Intense — that may be the next thing I try. Full report coming later. I promise.

Loreal Lash Out. I’m telling you. And it comes in a waterproof formula OR a non-waterproof formula. I use the regular a lot of the time, because I am lazy at the end of the day, but I always have one of each on hand.

I have been working on a post about sleep deprivation. Turns out it’s way more serious than even those who take it seriously thought.

You are a geek who Has a Larousse. “Stand back, I have a Larousse and know how to use it!”

I’m a Great Lash fan. I use waterproof because I can’t be counted on to remember to wash it off at night and I don’t want to look like a raccoon in the morning.

Here’s hoping next week is less crazy!

Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara (

AACK!! My post flew the coop!

Max Factor 2000 Calorie mascara is wonderful! Comes in regular, which lasts all day unless you boo-hoo like mad, and waterproof, which does require remover. Curved OR straight brush. It’s a classic and about $5 at WalMart. I’ve used it for about 15 years and will never change (unless they stop making it!).

Another lifelong Maybelline Great Lash user here. Non-waterproof.

Don’t laugh when I admit that, until I read this post, I never realized anyone wore waterproof unless they were going swimming. Or to see a sad movie.

Please give me the scoop on the benefits of waterproof-daily-wear. I feel like there’s insider info I’m not privy to.

I just bought this mascara for the same time, too! Like, 5 days ago! And the missing ‘e’ irked me, too! (Hello, I was an English major. Don’t be messing with spellings.) And it’s not French! It’s just silly!

I bought the non-proof formula, Susan–I’m way too lazy to use special remover at night. I can’t decide how much I like it yet. I mean, it seems fine, but it’s not exactly blowing my socks off. I had been using Maybelline Full ‘n’ Soft for a few years. I have a terrible time finding good mascara. My lashes are short, thin, stick-straight, AND so blonde as to be invisible, so basically I have no lashes. I have never splurged on department-store brands, but I’ve always wondered if they are better.

Anyway! Tell me what YOU think about the mascara!

Oh, and Susan? I think we had the exact same week, so may the force be with you, sister.

Redheads? Anyone? Ever look at those drugstore mascaras and say, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph … doesn’t anyone make a lighter mascara than that?”

Here’s a mascara all us ginger haired gals can use without looking like a freak: www.justforredheads.com

Why, pray tell, doesn’t someone — anyone — in the mainstream cosmetic industry make mascara for redheads? Well, because most redheads don’t realize we look like dorky with black eyelashes (trust me, not found in nature), and we’re only 2% of the population. duh. 0 profit margin.

The end.

I’ve been using Lancome Defincils… but only because I got it for free. I like it a lot but not enough to pay $30 for it.

My dining room table has been ‘distressed’ by amateurs.
My battery died sometime yesterday.

I like Maybelline Great Lash, mainly, for the comb that goes with it. I can never use those round brushes very well and found the comb does wonders on my lashes.

Wait. Stop. Scratch that. Rewind. It is Maybelline’s Lash Stylist. Maybe my battery has died and I don’t know it.

Boy… I could never get the hang of that two phase mascara. People kept asking me what that white stuff on my eyelashes was.

I discovered this mascara a few months ago after what 20plus years of trying every one on the market and hating them all. That said, I love it. No raccoon eyes and it stays on even at the pool and after a nap. Loved it so much I went back and got some for my two older girls (22yo and 16yo) so they won’t have to endure their 20-30’s with raccoon eyes, because I do NOT have that gene!

~gena

I use Jane Waterproof Mascara. Doesn’t require too much makeup remover at all to take off, i like it overall because it doens’t clump up. However, it isn’t heavy-duty waterproof mascara, so when I do have a cry fest, i have to wash my face afterwards, but IT! Doesn’t! Smudge!

This may be blasphemy, but I almost always forget to take off my makeup before bed. And because I’m cheap, I’ve bought this mascara many times. My one problem with it is how flaky it gets. I haven’t tried Waterproof though.

Right now, I love Max Factor’s 2000 Calorie mascara.

Let me get this straight - you have little boys, yet you went out and bought a perfectly beautiful dining room table? What are you, a cock-eyed optimist? Or do you perhaps have an Invisible Fence installed in the doorways of your dining room? Nothing new and beautiful ever stays that way in my house; check out Raising Vandals (http://suburbancorrespondent.blogspot.com/2007/09/raising-vandals.html) at my blog The More The Messier for details.

Marti! Woot! Tell it sister!

And thank you! For! THE LINK!

I’m off to Redheads R us now! Woot again!

L’oreal Voluminous waterproof mascara is great. I’ve been using it for years & I still love it. It doesn’t clump(unless the bottle gets pretty old before you use it up.) But if it does, just toss it & buy another… it only costs like $6.

I rely heavily on coffee to get me though those weeks but as far as concealer goes, I guess I just let it all show on my face…hoping for sympathy from my dear hubby so that he can at least empty the dishwasher 1 time for me.

I love Maybelline products and never had any problem with their eyeliner or mascara. I actually hate wearing any kind of mascara so I just bat my eyelids a lot

You have a Larousse, but do you have a Bescherelle?? Not that it would be useful in this instance.

Volum. Looks like it should be pronounced to rhyme with “Gollum”, my precious.

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