January 4, 2006
meme a trois
Andie D, Chag, and CroutonBoy have all tagged me with a meme. Damn them. No, wait, I meant to say, thanks, guys! I’m honored. I’ve done this before, but my choice of snacks is always changing, so I’ll play again. But I’m changing the rules BECAUSE I CAN. Get over it.
Select five people to play.
You, you, you with the hair, you, and you hiding in the back there. I see you!
What were you doing ten years ago?
I was in the end days of reading for my PhD comprehensive exams (the last step before the dissertation). By ‘reading’ I mean drinking nearly-toxic amounts of coffee and beer and repeatedly asking everyone who crossed my path why ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would want a PhD in ENGLISH for god’s sake, I should have gone to LAW SCHOOL because I would be DONE by now and would probably have a JOB which I will never get with this stupid-ass PhD!
I was fun to hang out with.
Unrelated aside: I talk to a lot–a LOT–of people who, when I tell them that I went to grad school in English, say wistfully, ‘I’ve always thought it would be fun to get a PhD in literature.’ Well sure, if your idea of ‘fun’ is being dirt poor for five (or seven or ten) years, while teaching required writing courses to undergraduates who will look you in the eyes and say, ‘I’m only taking this class because I have to’ and working with faculty who seem to think that unless they make your life a living hell they aren’t doing their job properly. And then, once you HAVE the PhD, the fun really starts, because you find out that you will be one of, say, 300 applicants for ONE tenure-track job (yes! really!) which is in godforsaken nowhere Arkansas and pays less than what a clerk at The Gap is making these days. If you even get the job in the first place.
And I liked graduate school. But all the beer and coffee might have tainted my memory a bit.
What were you doing one year ago?
This time last year, I was co-chairing a fundraising project for Henry’s preschool class–we were making a quilt that would be auctioned off in the spring. I was suckered into this by the auction chairs, who swore on a stack of Bibles that all we would need to do was coordinate! That we didn’t need to know anything about quilts or quilting! That it would be fun!
They lied. The first meeting (the one where I volunteered to be in charge) was in October; by January, the other chair and I were calling each other a dozen times a day to freak out about how we were NEVER GOING TO BE FINISHED and would be the first class in the school’s history without a quilt for the auction. To make it more stressful, random people kept reminding us of the year that the preschool quilt sold for $10,000.00. Meanwhile, we were just hoping to break even on the $300.00 we had spent on materials. I said ‘fuck’ a lot. Out loud. In front of the development people at Henry’s school! They loved me.
I will not be volunteering for any more fundraisers. Ever.
Five snacks you enjoy.
1. tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole
2. potato chips and clam dip
3. salt & vinegar potato chips
4. hummous
5. a Bloody Mary (What? It’s vegetable juice with a celery stick! That’s a snack!)
Five songs to which you know all the lyrics.
1. Route 66 (I prefer the Depeche Mode version)
2. I’m Not a Boy by Book of Love
3. Take me Out to the Ball Game
4. Waterloo (you all know that’s ABBA, right?)
5. I said it before, I’ll say it again: Copacabana
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Okay, let’s assume that I’m a pragmatic, socially conscious millionaire who has already invested for retirement and set up educational trusts for the kids and started a foundation. After all that, I would . . .
1. Buy a house in Santa Fe, out near the Opera. Not a little cabin but a proper house, fully furnished, with guest quarters. And a full-time housekeeper.
2. I would go to the NCAA men’s basketball tournament every year. All three weekends. And I would have GOOD seats.
3. Have my hair colored once a month. And of course while I’m at the salon I would need a manicure and a pedicure and probably a massage. At the least.
4. Travel, with and without the kids (but certainly with a nanny).
5. Stop waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat wondering HOW ARE WE GOING TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS? That would absolutely be the best part.
Five bad habits.
1. Serving take-out or something I defrosted instead of cooking.
2. Paying bills at the last possible minute.
3. Leaving the laundry in the washing machine overnight. Or for two (or three!) days.
4. Coffee.
5. The drinking. Oy, the drinking . . .
Five things you like doing.
1. Seeing my sons play together.
2. Being alone.
3. Wearing something sexy.
4. Going someplace that necessitates the wearing of something sexy.
5. Anything that requires only sweats and a ball cap.
Five things you would never wear or buy again.
1. Tapered jeans.
2. Anything with pleats.
3. Plaid.
4. Thong underwear (yes, I know that some of you love it. Not me).
5. An Isuzu Trooper.
Five favorite toys.
1. My iBook.
2. My iBook.
3. My iBook.
4. My iBook (that I don’t actually HAVE yet, by the way).
5. Did I mention that I’m getting an iBook?
That was fun. Now you go play, and come back here and tell us you did. And visit Andie D and Chag and CroutonBoy, not only because they are funny and witty but because the original meme had some sort of complicated pyramid thing designed to link you to other smart funny people. Which I didn’t include. For no good reason.
Sheesh, are you still here? Go, already!
Posted by Susan @ 1:55 pm • Uncategorized
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January 4th, 2006 at 2:55 pm, Kristen Says:
Andie D. tagged me too, and mine is here:
http://homeonthefringe.blogspot.com/2006/01/meme.html
Also, I meant to mention hummus also, but I was preoccupied with peanut butter when I did mine. My favorite Athenos flavor is the spicy three pepper. YUM.
I briefly toyed with volunteering to be the fundraising chair at Bryce’s new school this year. My mom slapped some sense into me when she reminded me that such a job would literally send me shrieking to a mental institution. And then someone else volunteered, just in time.
January 4th, 2006 at 3:50 pm, Mrs Big W Says:
Drinking is not a bad habit… Haven’t you seen the studies? Red wine is linked to lower incidences of heart disease and some forms of cancer — I’ve decided this is why I pickled myself on Christmas — it was for my health!
January 4th, 2006 at 3:53 pm, adria Says:
I was also tagged by Andie D.
My tag will be posted sometime today.
And like Susan, I did this before, but there are news snacks I love too.
Hummus rocks!!!
January 4th, 2006 at 4:17 pm, Andie D. Says:
Thanks for doing this! Ok, maybe it’s a little, um, dorky, but we learn so much about each other. So it’s cool too dammit!
Have you noticed that most of us parents don’t think drinking is a bad habit? I think it’s because most of us ARE parents. I need a drink.
How much did the quilt end up going for?
January 4th, 2006 at 4:39 pm, Susan Says:
Andie, in an effort to be discreet, I will tell you this: the quiltS (yes, there were TWO) sold for the equivalent of Henry’s tuition for the year. Which I thought was fine.
But it wasn’t ten grand, and several parents expressed their disappointment. Nice, eh?
And yes, drinking is NOT a bad habit. How about biting my cuticles? I do that, too.
Or leaving my shoes all over the house.
Or yelling at my kids when I’m on the phone.
Or . . . maybe I should stop now.
January 4th, 2006 at 5:39 pm, Dutch Says:
you may not have gone to law school, but at least your soul is intact. the first thing they do when you get one of those “jobs” that law school grads do get is rip your heart out like the bald guy in indiana jones & the temple of doom.
oh-num-shiva, oh-num-shiva, oh-num-shiva. . .
January 4th, 2006 at 6:47 pm, Jenorama Says:
I am so not doing this meme until somebody actually tags me.
And probably not even then :).
You’re getting an iBook? Really?
I will send you the stuff, and maybe even by email. Maybe tomorrow even.
January 4th, 2006 at 6:56 pm, Susan Says:
Of COURSE I’m getting an iBook–if it’s good enough for Dooce, it’s good enough for me.
And I love it more than my children. Already! And I haven’t even purchased it yet.
And Dutch, I hear you about the soul-ripping–that’s mostly why I decided on English grad school. And also why I bailed after three chapters of my dissertation. I don’t have a PhD, but I still have my soul! Which is worth nothing in this market, actually.
January 4th, 2006 at 7:50 pm, CarpeDM Says:
I don’t understand this hummus which you speak of. What exactly is hummus? I’ve done this before but maybe I’ll try doing it again.
By the way, thanks for leaving the link to your blog on NBB. I have been amused by you. Can you hear me laughing? Can you? Or are you secretly wondering who is this dorky DM person?
I loved English but not enough to get a PhD in it. I don’t love anything enough to get a PhD. I had enough trouble dealing with the fact that I got a C on a paper in college when I got all A’s in high school on my English papers. Didn’t the teacher know I was the favorite of the Mahtomedi High School English department? Sheesh.
January 4th, 2006 at 7:58 pm, Kara Says:
can i come to your pretend house in santa fe? you can come to my fake house in nantucket!
January 4th, 2006 at 8:32 pm, Susan Says:
Kara, I would go on a pretend vacation with you any day!
DM, welcome! Do the meme! Buy some hummous! But don’t go to grad school. Trust me on this.
January 4th, 2006 at 8:57 pm, Chag Says:
Any chance I can get some of your tournament seats one year?
BTW, I thought you just got a laptop?
January 5th, 2006 at 5:15 am, llama Says:
Tapered jeans! hehehe.
January 5th, 2006 at 5:30 am, Mary P. Says:
I want to go back to school!! No, really. I have two BA’s, in English and teaching, and I’d love to get an MA, but I don’t think I want to do it in either of those.
So, what? What? See, I don’t much care what I study, I just want to be in school for a couple of years again.
Really…
January 8th, 2006 at 10:48 am, Granny Says:
Hi Susan. I’must have read 10 of these and we all seem to have Salt & Vinegar chips in common.
How did Jen get missed? I went straight over to Jen-o-rama and tagged her. She may ignore me.
I enjoyed yours.
Mary P. tagged me. It’s over at rocrebelgranny.blogspot.com