December 20, 2005
look! something resembling a Christmas post! ho ho ho!
Charlie had his last day of school until after the New Year yesterday (sob). It was Pizza Day, which meant that instead of preparing a nutritious lunch I just dug through the ashtray in my car until I scrounged up $2.50 and flung it at his teacher on my way out the door. Have I mentioned how much I love Pizza Day? Or how much I hate making a lunch?
Anyway, in addition to Pizza Day, Charlie’s class had a birthday party for Baby Jesus, complete with a cake! with sprinkles! and chocolate icing! and a candy cane! I guess religious fervor and a sugar high are pretty much the same thing when you’re three.
They had a substitute teacher in his class yesterday, and she was a little startled by how much Charlie ate. ‘He had two whole pieces of pizza!’ she told me, awe-struck. ‘And a HUGE piece of cake!’
‘And I had some fish crackers, too,’ Charlie reminded her, ‘and raisins.’
She just stared at him. What, she’s never seen a three-year-old who eats? Like an NFL player, yes, but still!
Charlie, as we all know is a painfully slow eater; one time, at school, he took so long finishing his lunch that his teachers put all the other kids down for a nap and left him sitting at the table, in the dark, eating away. Tonight, when Wade said to him, ‘What did you do at school today, buddy?’ he said, ‘I ate my lunch in the dark!’ and Wade said, ‘AGAIN?’ and Charlie laughed. No, he didn’t eat in the dark, but he did eat all the food in the world, apparently.
And finally, there was this: in the car on the way home, Charlie said, ‘We had a birthday party for Baby Jesus.’
I said, ‘Did you sing Happy Birthday?’
‘Yes,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘but we didn’t see Baby Jesus. He wasn’t there.’
Now I’m all worried that he’s going to start asking where Baby Jesus is and how old he is and all that stuff. I wonder how long I can keep distracting him with candy canes? Maybe if I make him eat in the dark . . .
Posted by Susan @ 7:09 pm • Uncategorized
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December 20th, 2005 at 8:13 am, Kristen Says:
LOL! Just read the slow eating post about Charlie - Quinn is the same way. He eats a lot, but we’re always waiting around on him to finish. Of course it’s made worse because Bryce can’t sit still and never eats more than two microscopic bites.
Good luck with the boys out of school. John’s living in that hell right now, too. Sometimes I do realize I’m lucky to be the one who works in an office outside of the house.
December 20th, 2005 at 8:32 am, ieatcrayonz Says:
Aack! The photo cuteness! Stop IT!
You know, I was totally wondering why Henry was having a birthday party for Jesus at the Jewish school when I finally put my glasses on straight and saw it was Charlie throwing the party for the no-show guest of honor.
Geez.
December 20th, 2005 at 8:54 am, Kara Says:
the kiddo can take an entire hour to eat a peanut butter sandwich. she hates to eat and sleep. we don’t know how we ended up with a child who hates two of our favorite things!
December 20th, 2005 at 9:00 am, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
OMG– again, I swear we have the same child. MY kid ate one and a half grilled cheese sandwiches the other day. And an orange. And a full glass of whatever liquid was easiest for me to reach (not booze). And then he asked for a snack fifteen minutes later.
Sus— we’re screwed when they get to be teenagers. We should go in on a few deep freezers and extra fridges together.
BTW, I’m off my writing strike.
December 20th, 2005 at 9:07 am, Laura Says:
My husband is Buddhist and I am indecisive, so our kids had never actually been to church till my friend converted to Catholicism on Easter Vigil. I brought G. (who was 3) and she looked around in awe. She wanted to know what the altar (the big time-out bench)was, and who the guy was that they had pictures of everywhere. My Mom told her it was Jesus. G. asked where Jesus was. My Mom, in her infinite wisdom, told G. that Jesus is everywhere, even at OUR house. G., the literal child, took this literally and started to freak out. “Where is he? I haven’t seen him! Why is he at our house?” My mother was perplexed, and I spent the remaining 1 1/2 hours trying to convince my daughter that Jesus wasn’t the boogyman, and that we would invite him in if he came to visit. Just like Buddha and Moses.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:24 am, Felicity Says:
I can’t address the religious part of this post but I will say that my son eats non-stop. I’m NOT KIDDING. I’ve been late to work because of the following scenario, a regular at my house:
Fin: I’m hungry.
Me: What do you want.
Fin: Name everything we have.
After an exhaustive verbal list, he selects usually the last item mentioned. eats it, and then ten minutes later he says, I’m hungry, and the whole thing starts again. And he’s SIX. And 70+ lbs.
P.S. That picute is SO DAMN CUTE.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:29 am, Susan Says:
Felicity, that was so funny–’name everything we have.’
I like that Fin.
December 20th, 2005 at 11:00 am, Candace Says:
I regularly have to tell Christopher to stop eating, that he’s eaten enough to feed third world countries for weeks and he can’t possibly still be hungry. When he was six months old, he was eating two of the large jars of baby food, nursing at every meal, and then having a 4 oz bottle at every meal. And then there were snacks and other nursings and bottles.
Things haven’t slowed down since.
Happy Christmas! Cute kids!
December 20th, 2005 at 2:41 pm, Jenorama Says:
I am just laughing so hard, I don’t even have anything intelligent to say.
Tear. Rolling down my cheeks.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:23 pm, adria Says:
Daria was more interested in the animals that hang out with the whole nativity scene. (There is a toy set at the preschool.) When I asked her what the baby’s name was, she said “that’s a baby!”
What is going to happen at Easter in Charlie’s class?
Very funny post and very cute picture - such brotherly love.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:28 pm, Homestead Says:
I can relate to Charlie. I was the world’s slowest eater. When I was in kindergarten I was almost always the only one still in the lunch room eating when the high school kids came in…. but that was cool because the high school kids were cool and my aunt was in high school and she would put whatever nasty thing I had on my tray that I didn’t want to eat on her tray and throw it away for me because high school kids don’t have to clean their trays before THEY can go to recess. It beat the hell out of trying to hide a piece of brocolli in a glass of milk…..
December 20th, 2005 at 3:44 pm, Felicity Says:
faking indignance…I was not trying to be funny. Actually it does make me laugh which kind of takes the edge off always being late to work. I’m serious, though. I say all the normal breakfast things: waffles, pancakes, eggs, toast, peanut butter on toast, bagels, cereal and milk, apple and peanut butter, and on and on til I’m saying, Dry spaghetti? And then in desperation I say, “oh, I found a jar of Fluff!” and he screams “YES!”
December 20th, 2005 at 5:47 pm, Laura Says:
Hah! I love jars of Fluff.
December 20th, 2005 at 7:56 pm, Susan Says:
Felicity, the whole point is that it’s funny BECAUSE IT’S TRUE. I’ve got a whole blog going on that concept alone.
And the jar of Fluff just makes it funnier . . .
December 20th, 2005 at 9:46 pm, Susie Says:
OMG. Dan and Liam leave ME eating in the dark dining room. I am the Slowest Eater, like, ever. And I married a Fast Eater. In fact he comes from a family of Fast Eaters and they all finish the meal and watch me eat, which makes me nervously chatty, which of course makes me take longer to finish. Sort of like this comment.
Love the love in that photo.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:03 pm, Andie D. Says:
I LOVE pizza day at preschool!!
My son’s preschool had their annual “Art Show” today instead of anything remotely to do with holidays. I was going to bitch about it, but you know what? It rocked. The art was freakin’ creative, at times hauntingly beautiful, and I was so very proud.
Eh, you win some, you lose some. And occasionally, revel in a happy medium.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:04 pm, MIM Says:
Oh, God. Can’t write coherent comment. Laughing too hard. Snot coming out of nose with every laugh! May have peed a little.
December 21st, 2005 at 7:45 am, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
Too dman funny Susan. And the boys are so adorable!!! Who CARES if Charlie eats slow. I am sure he looks adorable doing it!
December 23rd, 2005 at 11:04 pm, Suburban Turmoil Says:
I absolutely LOVE that photo!