July 23, 2007
look! a dead horse! I think I shall beat it!
This morning at breakfast, Charlie asked, “Mama, when are you going to Chicago?”
“Well,” I said, trying to make it simple for him because he’s five and I don’t really know how well he understands time, “today is Monday, and I’m going on Wednesday. I’m here today, and I’ll be here tomorrow, but when you wake up on Wednesday I will be on the plane.”
Charlie thought about this, and counted on his fingers, and said, “So you leave in TWO days?”
“Yes.”
Charlie looked at Henry, who was sitting directly across the very small table from him, and yelled, “HENRY! Mom is LEAVING in TWO DAYS!”
And they both raised their arms in the air and cheered.
And I joined right in.
Wade said last night, “You’ve pretty much checked out already, haven’t you?” And I looked at him and said, “What?” Because yes, I have left the building. Except for the fact that I still don’t have any idea what I’m going to wear or how I’m going to get it into the suitcase. Or where the suitcase even is.
As I write this, I’m watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with the kids, who keep talking and talking and asking me questions that the movie ANSWERS for god’s sake if they would just LISTEN for two minutes and not jabber jabber jabber. Our whole day has been like that, asking questions and then talking right through the answers and then asking the SAME questions AGAIN and demanding that I answer them RIGHT NOW, Mama, why don’t you know the ANSWER? which makes me want to put in a pair of the ear plugs I bought today, on the off chance that Chris snores (Chris, do you snore?). Because all this talking talking talking is making me crazy.
This summer, I have had an almost constant tension headache. The whole idea of “tension headaches” is so silly, so 1970-something, but there it is; the right side of my jaw is tight, my neck is stiff, and my head feels like a truck has backed over it. Multiple times. One night last week, I had a pain just behind my ear all night long. I have a family history of cerebral aneurysm and I woke up every few hours thinking, “Huh, I wonder if this is it.” And then in the morning, my head felt fine, until after breakfast when the kids started fighting and the EXACT SAME PAIN returned in the EXACT SAME PLACE.
Not an aneurysm, thank god, but still annoying.
But then, this afternoon, on the way into SuperTarget to get more milk (which we forgot and had to go back for), Charlie grabbed my hand and then reached for Henry’s, and I watched in slow motion as the two of them clasped their little hands together, very seriously, so that we would all be connected and safe. And as we walked through the parking lot, the boys laughing about some joke that I had missed because I have so many things on my mind, I noticed other shoppers, women my age with carts full of groceries and grandparently types stopping for coffee at the Starbucks and young girls buying flip flops and cool tees, smiling at the three of us, linked together in a long, giggling chain, Charlie in the middle and Henry and I on either end.
I love them so much. I love how they love each other, and how they love me, and how we are all connected by that love, wavering and giggling and bumping into each other in the world. But I swear to god, if they do not STOP TALKING for just FIVE MINUTES I will lose what little is left of my mind.
Posted by Susan @ 4:17 pm • Uncategorized
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July 23rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm, Melissa Says:
Maybe if they won’t stop talking, you could arrange to GET an aneurysm. But then you’d probably miss blogher, what with being dead or at least hospitalized and whatnot. Probably not worth it, then.
July 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm, Veronica Says:
Only someone we love could drive us this crazy. Truly.
July 23rd, 2007 at 6:12 pm, Crisanne Says:
I feel your pain…and your joy. Life is funny like that. Just when you think you will snap, you get a tiny glimpse of the wonderful life you have with your family. It lasts just long enough to let them live another day!
July 23rd, 2007 at 7:04 pm, Megan@SortaCrunchy Says:
Oh yes, my dear. Tension headaches are so very real - not silly at all! And I bet the moment you pick up your luggage off of the suitcase carousel, that headache will magically disappear!
July 23rd, 2007 at 7:08 pm, Susan Says:
Megan, from your lips to God’s ears. Quickly.
July 23rd, 2007 at 8:39 pm, Mark Says:
I am in Chicago for a conference in a few weeks and can not wait. A room to myself!
Gino’s East, Harry Carry’s beer!
July 23rd, 2007 at 11:07 pm, Suburban Turmoil Says:
I can’t wait to see you at BlogHer! I’ve checked out already, too. This is pretty much the most exciting thing I’ll do all year.
I get tension headaches all the time. Minor migraines, too. I visited an amazing neurologist in college and he told me that any serious aneurysm-style headache would require you to hold your head in your hands because you wouldn’t be able to stand the pain. That’s always given me relief when I’ve wondered if the splitting headache I had was “the big one.”
July 24th, 2007 at 6:01 am, Jeanne Says:
I love that I’m not the only one who can be filled to the brim with annoyance AND love at the same time.
Perhaps I don’t have a split personality or psychotic disorder after all! Thanks - you made my day!
Have fun at blogher!
July 24th, 2007 at 6:09 am, Wendy Says:
I hear ya!
July 24th, 2007 at 7:07 am, Mir Says:
Chris does not snore. She is also an excellent spooner.
I’ll just be over here, sniffling in the corner. Have a wonderful time!!
July 24th, 2007 at 8:26 am, Busy Mom Says:
I have no idea what to wear. I had to go buy a suitcase to put it in.
July 24th, 2007 at 8:48 am, Jody Says:
Ditto ditto ditto..on the headaches and the need for some peace and quiet.
We had a particularly challenging day yesterday, with much whining, fighting and screaming from all 4 of my kids. I thought for sure that I was going to snap…and I was right. Everyone went to bed after a huge temper tantrum on my part….and I vowed that today was going to be a better day.
so far so good…but it isn’t even 10am yet.
p.s. I am going to cry when I see the fun, amazing pics and posts about blogher. sniff.
July 24th, 2007 at 1:08 pm, Tyler Stilley Says:
Oh, fun family summers. School will be in before you know it, but in the meantime, here’s site that helps you keep ‘em occupied over the summer and “ah ha” tips for back two school success.
wwww.back2school2007.com
July 24th, 2007 at 1:24 pm, Irene Says:
Yeah I completely understand the love and the wish for silence for just 2 seconds. And, I mean complete silence not the kind that happens when Elmo’s World is on.
July 24th, 2007 at 2:54 pm, Jamie Says:
OMG-the constant jabber!!!!!!
Ben doesn’t stop talking until he’s been asleep for 20 minutes, even then, he mutters in his sleep. He won’t even shut the….heck up when he is eating. The food in his mouth popping out occasionally. I used to think it was cute. Gawd, I can’t wait until school starts.
July 27th, 2007 at 4:36 pm, not so zen momma Says:
I’ve had that exact same tension headache for the past week. I think it is allergies/sinus caused by growth from all the rain.