October 19, 2005
just because something is produced by Duke University does NOT mean it will be helpful
A woman I know casually from the Starbucks loaned Charlie a potty video this morning. As soon as she gave it to him, he started asking to watch it, so when we came home from the grocery with $135.00 worth of frozen food to unload, I popped it in the VCR. WITHOUT PREVIEWING IT. I mean, it’s a potty video, it’s not like anyone is going to be making out with Allison Janney or anything, right? Wrong.
No, Allison Janney is not in this video; instead, it consists of a whole troup of clowns singing unbearably irritating potty songs with lyrics like this (sung to the tune of On Top of Old Smoky): ‘On top of your po-tty/You’re sitting to poop . . . ‘ Ugh. (Oh, there is also the ‘You’re a Super Duper Pooper’ song–god, I wish this site had an audio link.)
But! That is NOT the worst part. In this video, the potty learner is encouraged to help wash out his or her training pants after an accident. Okay, first of all WHO STILL USES TRAINING PANTS? How many of you even know what those are? (They’re the extra-thick underwear that kids used to wear back in the days before disposable diapers and pull-ups. My mom bought some for Henry, but she could only find them in an 18-24 month size, which explains why my generation were all toiled trained by age two.) But forget that the producers of this video appear to be living in the 1950s–let’s get back to this idea that your child should help wash up the soiled underwear. ARE THEY KIDDING ME???
Charlie is having terrific success with the peeing part of using the potty; we’ve not had a pee accident or a wet diaper in over a week. But not so much with the poop, where we are 0 for, um, like three million. I’m not crazy about cleaning up the poopy underpants, but whatever; it’s my job and I have an elaborate system for the clean up, involving diaper wipes for the boy, Chlorox wipes for every thing else, and the occasional tossing of unredeemable Spiderman underpants in the trash can. At NO POINT in this process is Charlie encouraged to TOUCH the poopy underwear; part of the protocol is my insane repetition of ‘Keep your hands away from your BOTTOM! Keep your HANDS away from your bottom! Keep your hands AWAY from your bottom!’ You get the idea.
So now he’s seen this video twice (hey, I had a lot of groceries to put away) and I am terrified that he’s going to ask to help after the next accident. But have him wash his undies out HIMSELF? In what demented universe is that a good idea? Oh, sure, I have him put his clothes in the laundry hamper, and clear his (plastic) plate after a meal, and pick up his own toys, but WASH OUT THE POOPY UNDERWEAR? I’m all about fostering independence, but I’m also all about containing anything that counts as hazmat. I think that video is going to disappear during nap time.
I may smack my Starbucks acquaintance the next time I see her.
Edited to add: Seriously, people, am I the ONLY one who thinks this is a bad idea? Have any of you tried this? Has it worked? What HAS worked?
I think I need some therapy.
Posted by Susan @ 10:24 am • Uncategorized
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October 19th, 2005 at 12:34 pm, Jenorama Says:
Well, now, wait a minute. Charlie is washable, right? And after having had the extreme glee of making my small child work, I think you should go ahead and let him help do it, and say the whole time, “We have potties so we don’t have to do this.”
Maybe he’ll get the point more quickly.
*ducks*
October 19th, 2005 at 12:43 pm, Susan Says:
Oh, sure, he’s washable, but how many times during the day do I want to be giving him a bath?
No, seriously. Have I never mentioned what germ phobes we at Friday Playdate are? VEERRRYYY phobic of the germs. Very. Phobic.
Just writing this makes me want to wash my hands.
October 19th, 2005 at 3:29 pm, adria Says:
I agree. Germs are bad, and I spend half my day repeating how nice clean hands are.
What was the copyright year on the video?
Bear and the Big Blue House has a potty video out. I have not seen it, but I am sure it is better than the you have.
October 19th, 2005 at 3:37 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
It’s funny you bring up this topic. The people who previously owned our house live just down the street. She has 9 year old twin boys and a 6 year old girl. The girl was no problem to train beacuse she wanted to be like her brothers. The brothers, on the other hand, were a nightmare. She said that what got her boys trained was to make them help clean up the mess. They were apparently so skeeved by the ordeal, that it motivated them to do it in the can. I asked her about whether or not they got it on their hands, etc. She said that they did, but she made them wash. Alot.
Ella only craps once a day (usually before 10). I am not sure what I would do if she did it many many times each day. The whole cleanup thing would get quite old I think but I am willing to try it. I’ll let you know.
October 19th, 2005 at 3:58 pm, Susan Says:
No no NO! I’m not doing it. That’s it. End of discussion (no, not really, discuss away, but I’m not doing it.)
Charlie is a poop MACHINE, probably because he is also an eating machine. I mean two, three times a day, in no predictable pattern. Except that it’s never on the potty–THAT part is predictable.
Let me say again: NO NO NO.
That is all.
October 19th, 2005 at 4:19 pm, Chag Says:
I think you’re doing the right thing. He’ll have enough crappy jobs in life, no need to start him this early.
Bad joke. Sorry. But good luck.
October 19th, 2005 at 4:31 pm, Chag Says:
BTW, we tried a video as well, but it didn’t help. Our video told adults that you should let the kids play with the potty seat a week before letting them actually use it.
October 19th, 2005 at 5:43 pm, Susan Says:
Oh, we DID try that–and Henry thought the potty was a toy! And he would never use it! Because who wants to pee and poop in your cool new TOY???
Yet another reason we use the seat on the big potty and not the little potty.
I hate potty training.
October 19th, 2005 at 5:49 pm, Mary Tsao Says:
Don’t ask me. I’m a potty training dropout. But hey, good luck with that potty training stuff. I think I might be sending my kids to college with boxes of pampers along with their lava lamps and new sheets.
October 19th, 2005 at 6:26 pm, Susan Says:
That’s what Depends are for, Mary.
October 19th, 2005 at 6:51 pm, Jenette Says:
I NEVER let Ethan clean out his own underwear. Ick. At least not the poopy ones. But then, he only had a few before he decided that it was gross to sit in your own poop. We didn’t do pull ups when we potty-trained, except at night (which we still use). His daycare provider during the potty training phase (MARVELOUS woman) did make him change his own clothes when he pee’d out of defiance. I didn’t have a problem with this, as long as he got sponged off and stuff like that.
I hated potty training too. Lord, and I’m going to put myself through it again in another four years, when this next one is three. Sigh.
Good luck!
October 20th, 2005 at 5:41 am, Missy Says:
Hazmat, lol….good one.
October 20th, 2005 at 10:22 am, Candace Says:
Um. No.
But I did “make” Christopher put his (already washed out) underpants in the washer and then the dryer EVERY SINGLE TIME we had to do it. He HATED doing that.
And I made him watch me throw out his very favorite underwear because they weren’t salvageable. Man, did he cry, and man, did I feel like a horrible parent.
But I think it all helped, in the end.
No pun intended.
October 20th, 2005 at 1:17 pm, Mary P. Says:
Nope. Have participated in the toilet training of at least two dozen children now, and have never, ever had them wash their own poopy pants. Nope. Some kids already look on this stuff as potential fingerpaint material.
I never use pull-ups, BTW. For most kids, they’re so much like diapers that they just don’t get it. Though they have the undeniable advantage of being able to be torn off down the sides instead of trying to weasel filthy pants down legs without… Oh, you know.
I often (though not always) have the kid trot around naked from the waist for the first three days, just to make it really clear what’s going on. I, however, have no carpet in my home.
October 20th, 2005 at 2:23 pm, MIM Says:
Susan, I’m with you. I do not let Tod-lar go anywhere near his poop. I mini-barf everytime I have to clean it up alone. If he were helping me, the whole process would take so much longer that I’d be sure to vomit.
October 23rd, 2005 at 4:04 am, the ockers Says:
how hilarious! I haven’t thought much about potty training my 2 and half year old daughter yet. I was waiting for our winter to pass and our summertime to begin so it’s easier on the washing and easier for her with less clothes on (oh I forgot to mention I live in Australia so our summer is about to come around at xmas time and it’s totally hot enough for kids to run around in singlets and shorts all day long). BUT that potty video sounds hilarious! I would NEVER let my little one clean up her own soiled undies. NEVER EVER. Much too DISGUSTING and much too UPSETTING & TRAUMATISING for BOTH OF US!!! You stick to your hygiene principles on this one Susan. You don’t want to make potty training and cleaning up poop too much of a big deal or they might develop potty hang-ups and toilet issues for life. Just be laid back about it because all kids get the message eventually.
October 23rd, 2005 at 8:13 am, Andie D. Says:
I tried the old, “Poopy goes in the potty, not in your pull-up” trick, whereby I showed my son how I dumped his poop into the potty. The idea was to show him that Poop = potty.
He apparently thought that I meant he was to poop in his pull-ups and THEN dump it into the potty. By himself. Ack! It got pretty messy pretty fast and we nixed that in the bud.