July 16, 2007
July 16, 2002
Five years ago today, I was counting down to the birth of my last baby, whiling away the final hours before I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital. Wade and I were still discussing the name; for a boy, Charles, but the girl . . . he wanted Elizabeth, which I like in general, but didn’t like for THIS PARTICULAR baby (Me: She’s just not an Elizabeth. I can tell. Wade: [blank stare, crickets chirping.]) I wanted Virginia, after both of our grandmothers; I wanted to call her Ginny.
Or Charlotte.
Wade says that I was hooked on Charlotte because I knew the baby was a boy and Charlotte is a variation of Charles. He might be right. I knew that Henry was a boy from the very beginning (we didn’t “find out” with either pregnancy, until the delivery room, where there was no avoiding the finding out). When I was eight weeks along with Henry, I announced one morning, on the street outside the Sunriser in Tacoma, Washington (where we were meeting our friend Priti for breakfast), “This baby? Is a boy.” Wade scoffed, and kept up the scoffing until the very end, and when the nurse plunked the wee little not crying baby on my stomach and announced, “It’s a boy!” I said, “I TOLD YOU SO.” Because I’m mature like that.
But this baby, five years ago, was throwing me. Part of me thought for sure it was a girl, because of the heartburn and the argument about the name (with Henry, we picked a girl’s name–Jane–easily, but wrestled with the boy’s name; with this baby, we settled immediately on Charles, and agreed that he would be Charlie for everyday, with an IE and not an EY, but we were quite literally still wrangling over the girl’s name in the delivery room, which would seem to indicate that the baby was a GIRL because clearly we were NOT READY for a girl). I told Wade, probably ten times during the five hours of labor that if the baby was a girl he was NOT allowed to say that her name was Elizabeth because I needed to think about it some more.
The baby was not a girl; the baby was a boy, but when the doctor asked me his name, I was sobbing and couldn’t tell her, and I had to poke Wade until he said, “Oh! Charlie! His name is Charlie!”
But five years ago today was the day before the baby came; it was the last day that I only had one child, the last day that Henry was the magnetic center of my world. It was the last day that the wee little person inside me rolled back and forth, pressing his gigantic feet out against my stomach so that I could trace a heel and five distinct toes. When I think about it now, I think that I should have been more worried, about the delivery and the baby and the change that was coming. But mostly I was just worried about the damn name.
Sometimes, when I lay down with Charlie in his bed, or when he climbs into the big bed with me, I show him how I used to put him next to me to sleep when he was a tiny baby. Last night, I laid down with him, squashing up against his sturdy preschooler body to keep from falling out of his twin bed, and I said, “How can you be almost five years old? How are you not a baby any more?”
“Oh, Mama,” he said, “I will ALWAYS be the baby.” And I covered him in kisses, because that’s what Mamas do with babies.
Posted by Susan @ 3:17 pm • Uncategorized
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July 16th, 2007 at 6:07 pm, Caroline Says:
Happy Birthday, Charlie!!
July 16th, 2007 at 6:17 pm, Jamie Says:
Happy Birthday little guy!
I love the name Ginny now! I ALMOST wish I weren’t soooo done.:)
July 16th, 2007 at 6:48 pm, Mir Says:
Happy, happy birthday to Charlie, who will always be your baby.
July 16th, 2007 at 8:20 pm, Amy Says:
Happy birthday, Charlie!
Susan, I’ve asked this before, but is it possible that you are me, living an alternate life in Oklahoma? Because Jane was the girl’s name for us when our Henry was born (and for our friends who have a Hank, come to think of it), and Charlie was our boy’s name until I decided it would be Josephine or Joseph, darn it. (And Josie? Has a five-year-old friend named Ginny. So we’re apparently not original people. And yes, I have a little obsession with baby names.)
July 16th, 2007 at 8:22 pm, Susan Says:
Amy, do you want to hear something REALLY crazy? We talked, very seriously, about Josie for a girl when I was pregnant with Charlie; Josie was my mother-in-law’s mother’s name.
So our Charlie was nearly a Josie.
And yes, we’re living parallel lives. Now we just need to get our parallel lives together sometime. Don’t you think?
July 16th, 2007 at 8:27 pm, whoorl Says:
This was such a sweet post. Happy Birthday, Charlie!
July 16th, 2007 at 9:30 pm, chris Says:
Happy Birthday Charlie!
July 16th, 2007 at 9:47 pm, Melissa Says:
Happy Anniversary of the Last Day of Being an Only Child, Henry!
July 16th, 2007 at 9:56 pm, baseballmom Says:
Found your site thru SJ’s…had to leave a comment because, THE SUNRISER! I loved it…and so wish it was still here!
July 16th, 2007 at 10:39 pm, Karianna Says:
Aw, sweetness! Happy Birthday Charlie!
I thought both mine were girls; but they are boys. (Boys who love pink and sparkly necklaces, though.)
July 16th, 2007 at 10:45 pm, Undercover Mutha Says:
Happy birthday, sweet boy.
July 17th, 2007 at 6:51 am, Anna Says:
Oh! Delicious. They will indeed always be our babies.
July 17th, 2007 at 7:39 am, daysgoby Says:
Happy Birthday, sweet boy!
And Happy Sweet-and-Bittersweet day to you, Susan!
July 17th, 2007 at 8:25 am, Annika Says:
Oh, yes - we had a girl’s name, and a back-up girl’s name, and half a dozen other girl’s names that we liked. So we had a boy, and didn’t know his name for two days. Next time I am picking a unisex name the minute I get a positive pregnancy test. (Not really, but it’s tempting.)
July 17th, 2007 at 9:10 am, Shan Says:
Oh, sigh–my last baby turns one in one month and I’m getting so nostalgic for the tiny months. I can only imagine how I’ll feel when my girls are five and seven! Oh, and my oldest? Her middle name is Charlotte, for my grandmother. We debated for a long time whether it should be her first or middle name.
Very sweet post.
July 17th, 2007 at 9:32 am, Amy Says:
Susan, I’m all for it. I say next summer when school lets out, we pile the kids in our respective cars and I head east while you head west. We’ll meet halfway, stick the kids in a pool somewhere, and drink lovely beverages while talking about our life (yes, I meant that to be singular)!
July 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am, Kate Says:
You have exquisite taste in baby names. Love them all.
July 17th, 2007 at 11:18 am, Jen Says:
Totally cried. And don’t let the fact that I have done nothing but cry since arriving in Utah make you think that this post wasn’t totally cry-worthy.
Happy Birthday, Charlie!
July 17th, 2007 at 7:39 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
Alex is turning 5 on the 31st, and I’ve been wondering for some time now where my baby went.
Best post ever. Really.