April 27, 2007
it is entirely possible that I had a margarita before I wrote this
Here’s an interesting confluence of events: the ever lovely Ramblin’ Educat has nominated me for a Blogger’s Choice award, for Best Parenting Blog. On the EXACT SAME DAY that I permanently alienated my six year old son!
Can you believe it? Because it’s true!
First things first: you can go here to vote for Friday Playdate, or you can click over just to see that my site has been tagged as containing ADULT CONTENT, which makes it sound so . . . I don’t know! So risque! What do you think they mean by “adult content”? Could it be all my talk of shoes?
Or is it the drinking? Because really, that IS only for adults. Mommy doesn’t want to share her margarita.
And now let me give you REASON to vote for me for Best Parenting Blog. Or Worst Mother, although I don’t have a link and a cute button for that. Sorry.
Last week, Henry came home from school with a birthday party invitation; it was a pirate party and the invitations were really clever, little bottles with sand in them, and a pirate eye patch and a plastic skull ring and the actual invitation. Henry managed to open the bottle IN THE CAR, dumping the sand all over himself AND THE CAR. So that was good.
I called and RSVPd and asked Henry if he wanted Mommy or Daddy to go with him to the party (”I want YOU to go, please!”) and told Wade that he needed to think of a Fun Thing to do with Charlie, who was feeling a little left out. And then I wrote it on the calendar for tomorrow and went on with my life.
Today I met Wade for lunch at La Baguette, and over our delicious French-themed sandwiches I reminded him about the birthday party and he said yes, he knew, and we talked about how nice it would be for him to spend some time with Charlie and how great it was that Henry was making friends and god isn’t our life just freakin’ PERFECT?!?
Dammit.
I spent the afternoon running around in the rain pricing hot water heaters, and then went to Target for the second time in two days to get everything to make Parmesan Breaded Chicken Breasts and then ran it all home and then went to get Charlie, only barely managing not to be late, and THEN went to get Henry, where I sat in the Longest Carpool Line Ever and tried not to swear at the people who were PARKING in front of me and then GOING INSIDE TO GET THEIR KIDS.
Because ARGH! Don’t park in the carpool line! I’m begging you!
When I finally make my way to the front of the line, Henry comes zooming out and hops in the car and announces, “PRESTON’S BIRTHDAY PARTY IS TODAY!”
I said, “No it isn’t.”
“YES IT IS AND I NEED TO GOOOOOOO!”
So I called Caroline, who was home with a sick toddler and really loved that my cell phone crapped out the first two times I called, requiring me to call her THREE TIMES, just to say, “WHEN IS THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY?”
And she said, “Today. Right now.”
And I may have said, “DAMMIT.” Possibly.
Henry cried most of the way home because by NOW it was past the start of the party and we didn’t have a present for Preston or a sitter for Charlie or any idea where we were going and there was no possible way we could get ourselves together in time to make the party. And as he was wailing away, my cold dead heart broke into a million pieces because I had disappointed him.
I was trying really REALLY hard not to say WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON? and WHY DIDN’T THE INVITATION SAY FRIDAY, APRIL 27TH? and BUT BUT BUT I THOUGHT . . . Because really, in the end, this was entirely my fault.
Wade called while Henry was in his room, SOBBING, and Charlie was cheerfully waiting for me to get him a snack and made the mistake of saying, “What’s going on there?” And I told him everything, about how Henry hated me and I felt terrible and he was yelling and screaming and I was getting really frustrated even though I was sympathetic and Charlie had a great field trip but it rained and so they came back to school for lunch but the kids didn’t care and we were trying to get ourselves ready to go to the video store and I AM THE WORST MOTHER EVER. He listened to everything and then said, “I’m three minutes from home. I’ll be right there.”
The boys are watching some horrible Batman video now, something about vampires, which probably guarantees that one or both of them will end up in bed with me at three am, but frankly, they can do whatever they want tonight. Because I feel terrible about the birthday party, even though WHO HAS A BIRTHDAY PARTY ON FRIDAY AFTERNOON?
Best Parenting Blog. Good thing it’s not Best Parent. The rest of those folks wouldn’t stand a chance.
Posted by Susan @ 4:35 pm • Uncategorized
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April 27th, 2007 at 6:37 pm, MamaChristy Says:
I think people who have children’s birthday parties on a weekday afternoon want gifts (because people feel guilty because “If only I were a better parent I would be able to go to a party on a Friday afternoon!”) but don’t really wan t your kids at their party.
Honest mistake and Henry will forgive you. Eventually.
April 27th, 2007 at 7:08 pm, Mir Says:
Oh honey, I’m sorry.
Could you invite the birthday boy over for a playdate next week? Would that help?
Or maybe another margarita would help. (Or! Come online and chat with me during WNTW! Right now!)
April 27th, 2007 at 7:28 pm, a happier girl Says:
I agree that the parent must not have been concerned about attendance at that party. Which seems weird if that mother spent all that time making clever little invitations. Her time would have been better spent picking a more convenient day and time.
April 27th, 2007 at 7:42 pm, educat Says:
I clicked on my Bloglines before opening your email and the whole time thinking “Dammit, I still can’t figure out how to edit that entry so it’s not adult content!”
But now, maybe I won’t worry about it.
Either way, the entry I meant, the adult rating I didn’t.
So quick, say something dirty so it fits.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:24 pm, Mark Says:
It is the orange hair, they think you are a porn star! That gets the adult rating!
April 27th, 2007 at 9:50 pm, Susan too Says:
I feel your pain and my daughter would be exactly the same way but she would forget about it the next day ( with an appropriate bribe to make up for missing that crappy gift bag!)
April 28th, 2007 at 6:06 am, chris Says:
Awwwww I am so sorry.
April 28th, 2007 at 6:35 am, Wendy Says:
Sorry, but you are definitely not the worst mother. I didnt know that it was an early day at school. Needless to say, I was a bit confused when I went to carpool and no one was there. My daughter promptly told me how horrible I was in front of everyone complete with massive amounts of tears. Thanks, I will go die, now.
Hope he is feeling better. I say buy him a pirate hat and patch. It was probably all he wanted, anway. It is the reason my daughter now wants a pirate b-day party.
April 28th, 2007 at 8:38 am, Crisanne Says:
It stinks to be human like that and make mistakes. He’ll get over it but it’ll probably be one of those things he’ll bring up for years and you’ll all laugh about it. Like the time my parents forgot me at ballet class…
April 28th, 2007 at 3:38 pm, Barbie Says:
Adult content? I like it lol Makes me feel like I am doing something naughty for a change;-)
April 28th, 2007 at 5:23 pm, Katherine Says:
I’ve held birthday parties on a weekday afternoon before. Not because I didn’t want the kids, but because I wanted kids there. It’s very hard to have a birthday party on Sat during the spring - baseball AND soccer season. Friday afternoon, almost all kids could come. Sat afternoon I was lucky to get 30%.
April 28th, 2007 at 5:56 pm, Susan Says:
I should be VERY clear here: I’m not blaming the party hosts. In a lot of ways, yesterday after school was a great time for a party–they live near the school, and the festivities started right after carpool.
It’s totally my fault for not paying more attention to the date, and I was really fighting that knee-jerk reaction where you blame ANYONE ELSE for your mistake. Or mine, as the case may be. That’s all.
April 28th, 2007 at 8:35 pm, MamaChristy Says:
Susan, you are so diplomatic. Good for you admitting that it wasn’t the most horrible time for a party - assuming that you didn’t have the days mixed up. Then it IS the worst time for the party - but only for you. Hope that Henry is all better about it now. Eventually isn’t usually too long in the lives of the very young.
April 28th, 2007 at 9:54 pm, Jamie Says:
I feel the pain in your writing.
April 29th, 2007 at 7:42 am, Suburban Turmoil Says:
This is why you have a wonderful parenting blog, Susan. Because it’s so honest. Haven’t we all done stuff like this? Don’t beat yourself up over it- Instead, beat up the woman who decided to have a birthday party on FRIDAY AFTERNOON!
April 29th, 2007 at 5:10 pm, jeanie Says:
You are not the worst parent in the world! The worst parent in the world would organise her long-distance boyfriend for an extra day on a weekend and blithely wave at her daughter at the bus stop willing the bus to arrive really soon ON A PUPIL FREE DAY because she had not read the newsletter.
Or is that the worst girlfriend award?
Anyhow - people do that, it is not the end of the world and I agree with one of the responses above - make a playdate.
April 29th, 2007 at 9:05 pm, Holly Says:
Don’t feel bad. I ran into a friend the other week and told her that we’d see her on Saturday afternoon at her son’s 2nd birthday party. She told me that it was on Sunday afternoon. Like you, I had written it down wrong on my calendar. Oops!
And my daughter had her 3rd birthday party this past Saturday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. One of the guests said that she and her son had been to The Little Gym twice that day — they thought the party was at 1:30 p.m. and showed up then!
It happens, particularly when you’re overscheduled like we all are. Don’t sweat it! Our kids just have a knack for making us feel like sh** at times. In my house tonight, said by my 5 y.o. son: “Tommy’s parents let him wear shirts with Mickey Mouse and Spider-Man and other violent images. [ed. note: Mickey Mouse a violent image — ha!] Why won’t you ever let me wear shirts like that?” Apparently I’m the mean mommy who makes her son wear preppy colored shirts. Blah!
April 30th, 2007 at 11:23 am, Magpie Says:
Maybe the same people who get married at 6:00 on the Friday of Labor Day weekend. No wait, that was my cousin, they had no kids. Poor Henry - but he’ll get over it.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:01 pm, Karyn Says:
That’s madness. Seriously. And you HAVE to write the DAY of the party plus the date, because hello, you just DO.
So for what it’s worth, I absolve you of all mummy-badness.
Did that help?
June 1st, 2007 at 4:00 pm, Jody Says:
Don’t fret the party or Batman/vampire movie……my husband is snatching your Worst Parent award for allowing the kids to watch “Jaws” 5 days before we head to the beach to go surfing with them.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:18 am, Beth Says:
I DID THIS!! With — sit down — a horse riding party. Oh, Jeebus, I thought my daughter would die. We made arrangements with the party girl’s mom to go riding the next week together, but my daughter assured me, “It’s not the same!!”
Oh, how like crap we can feel like moms.
But honest mistakes happen. And kids do survive.