December 17, 2007
I’ll have the crabby patty, SpongeBob
I am chock full of holiday spirit these days, if holiday spirit is synonymous with crankiness and annoyance. Everyone is on my nerves: other drivers (when the light is out you TREAT IT LIKE A FOUR WAY STOP — SEE THOSE PORTABLE STOP SIGNS THERE? At the intersection? Yes, those!) and other shoppers (we don’t want to hear the comprehensive list of places you MIGHT have left your Barnes and Noble Membership card; just give the girl your PHONE NUMBER ALREADY and let’s be done with it! Oh, yes, right after you pay for your latte IN NICKELS AND DIMES CULLED FROM YOUR ASH TRAY!) and various people who live in my house (please PLEASE chew with your MOUTH CLOSED, just this ONCE).
Happy freakin’ holidays.
Over the weekend Wade and I went to a Grown Up party, which was very fun, except for the guy we had just met who thought it would be funny to take HIS name tag and put it on ME. Which was kind of juvenile, but mostly fine, EXCEPT for the fact that I was wearing a V-neck dress and he stuck the name tag in the cleavage-y part of the dress. You know, where it was more cleavage than dress.
Wade’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. I can only imagine what kind of face I was making. How I manged not to start swearing is beyond me, but I was very polite about the whole thing, until we got into the car to come home, when I said “WTF was THAT about!”
And Wade said, “I KNOW!”
Even my boobs are crabby.
I will say this, though: on Saturday, when I was awash in stress and having chest pains (not a heart attack! just muscle spasms!) I went and had an Emergency Manicure, which made EVERYTHING better. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get through the day.
Coming soon after basketball practice whenever I get to it so shut up already later: pictures of Henry and Charlie on their way to their Christmas pageant, and my dress (the cleavage-y one) so that you can see EXACTLY where the name tag went.
Posted by Susan @ 4:53 pm • fretful and worrisome
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December 17th, 2007 at 6:23 pm, Caitlin - Bridgets Flame Says:
It surely is the season of peace on earth, joy and goodwill towards ‘men’ isn’t it? I’m zero out of three so far.
I empathise.
December 17th, 2007 at 7:27 pm, mark Says:
What is with these people who can not grasp the complexity of a frickin 4 way stop? Take away their license! They are to stupid to drive on my GD Road
December 17th, 2007 at 7:47 pm, chris Says:
I hear you. I’ll take two crabby patties.
The name tag thing is just weird. Tell me he was drunk so that there is at least an excuse
December 17th, 2007 at 9:19 pm, Wendy Says:
I will have a crabby patty, too. Wouldn’t you be after stuffing 500 Christmas cards?
If I have to buy one more unexpected gift, I will shoot someone.
Oh yeah, Merry Christmas.
December 17th, 2007 at 9:46 pm, All Adither Says:
One time at a bar some guy came up and bit my upper arm. Oddly, the next night at another bar (this was in my early 20s), a different guy came up and bit my arm in the exact same place! It was the weirdest, freakiest thing ever.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:01 pm, Heather B. Says:
Misery loves company. See you tomorrow. I’ll be the one looking like a surly bitch.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:55 pm, Suebob Says:
Tartar sauce! What a rude dope. But you ARE hotttt, so who can blame him, really?
I just use my exBFs phone number at BnN. It works fine.
December 18th, 2007 at 9:00 am, bgirl Says:
Kind of unrelated, but I once knew a woman named Patti Crabbe. It took ALL I HAD not to call her Crabby Patty on a daily basis.
But I’m feeling ya, dog. Uh, I mean, I’m really super cranky lately, too.
December 18th, 2007 at 10:34 am, Shan Says:
Oh my god, I feel exactly the same way. But I don’t have any terrible dress/nametag story to contribute. I’m just crabby. And stressed. And annoyed.
December 18th, 2007 at 12:14 pm, arduous Says:
I spent yesterday making three different kinds of holiday cookies and I’m not positive any of them are very good, so I feel you on the crabby.
December 18th, 2007 at 2:41 pm, feefifoto Says:
Oh, I feel your pain, and next week we begin nearly three weeks of vacation!
December 18th, 2007 at 5:47 pm, Friday Playdate » devious, not crafty: the sequal (plus, shots of my cleavage!) Says:
[…] And because I promised, the cleavage dress: […]
December 18th, 2007 at 10:43 pm, Stephanie Says:
You think four way stops are obnoxious, try introducing “roundabouts” to a community one month before Christmas. We are sooo beyond crabby up here in the Harbor.
I once had a guy come up and grab both my boobs and “honk” them. But I was at Oktoberfest, and he was several sheets to the wind.
December 19th, 2007 at 3:49 pm, She Likes Purple Says:
Manicures really do make all the difference sometimes.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:53 am, Elizabeth Says:
Oh yes, the Emergency Manicure! I could really use a Pedi too. And dude, sticking his nametag on your boobs? WTF?
December 20th, 2007 at 12:57 pm, Lori Says:
I so know what you mean about the stop signs! I think that a lot of people from OK should reconsider riding horses everywhere; it would be much easier for them to understand, being the simple-minded folk that they are, rather than try to understand a huge piece of machinery like a car (or truck, cause that’s what cowboys drive nowadays).
December 20th, 2007 at 12:57 pm, Lori Says:
Sorry to do two comments, but I think I could use an emergency bottle of something. I don’t think I like being this sober.