Comments on: I’ll bet Hawk Girl is good at freeze tag

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 20:08:00 +0000

Here is the funny thing, though–before we were parents, when we had jobs or school or whatever came in the past, we were always encouraged (by the media and our friends and spouses and parents) to take time FOR OURSELVES. Wade and I have both laughed about doctor’s office questionnaires that ask about hobbies. Who has time for a HOBBY? I have KIDS.

But that time away from ‘work’ (and I know, this isn’t ‘work’ in that sense, it is my life, which only makes it more complicated) is so crucial to doing the job well. I taught in a boarding school for two years, after college, and after the first year, I demanded to move out of the dorms and off campus, because there was NEVER any break from the work. Students were pounding on my door at midnight and at 6:00 am, every night and all weekend, whether I was on-duty or not. And in the end, I hated that job, for no good reason except that it became my whole life.

So now I have these people that I grew inside me and that I love more than live itself, and like Katy, I feel painfully selfish for NOT wanting to play freeze tag or read Hop On Pop AGAIN. But there it is–I’m the selfish mommy.

Whoo. Time to go to the park and play freeze tag. And then paint! Always with the painting . . .

By: The June Cleaver Diaries

The June Cleaver Diaries — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 18:28:00 +0000

This sounds totally selfish, but I, too, feel like I spend all of every day focused on everyone but me. So if that means I don’t feel like cleaning up paint mess or flour spills, then dammit, I’m not going to.

ooooh, that sounds soooo wrong. Like a self-centered 14 year old in a 33 year old’s body.

By: the ockers

the ockers — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 15:13:00 +0000

I totally relate to this. I spent 7 years studying Painting in a really cool Art School and have been earning a living from painting for some years now BUT my 2 and a half year old daughter has only done some painting a few times at playgroup. Yeah I take her to the Museum every week to look at the dinosaurs and butterflies and let her run wide in the huge landscaped local park and climb the biggest slides and jump in puddles BUT I don’t ever have days were I encourage her to do “arty” things…I always think maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe when I buy her a smock…but it’s my laziness getting in the way because I can’t stand the big clean up after she’s been painting or baking. I had ALWAYS thought I be a totally cool and arty mum because I used to think I was arty and cool BUT I aint NO cool mum in my head!!!!
gotta change, gotta change, maybe tomorrow, YEAH, maybe tomorrow…aagh sugar, who am I kidding?

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 14:15:00 +0000

What has surprised me the most about this mommy thing is not so much that I dislike the fun kid things (really, I don’t–I like to squish playdough as much as any three-year-old) but how much I MISS the grown-up things. I used to read the ENTIRE New York Times EVERY DAY–now I skim the Style section on-line once a week. And it’s been hard to let that go.

The past few months have also been particularly kid-centered, as we have been trying to manage Henry’s ADHD without medication, which means that I need to be PRESENT (not just in the room but actively engaged with him) nearly all the time. So squishing playdough turns into teaching social skills and small motor skills and . . . whew. In theory, it IS fun, and I think the boys have a good time, but it makes my head tired.

This is turning into an entirely new post, isn’t it? Maybe I should stop and go bake some cookies. Oh, right, I can’t–I don’t have any eggs. Ha ha ha.

By: The June Cleaver Diaries

The June Cleaver Diaries — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 13:29:00 +0000

Okay, I finally had two seconds to sit down and read this post. I have he same conflict— we all do. I always feel guilty when ALex says, “Will you play with me?” and I don’t want to, because I’m feeding the babies, or taking ten minutes to wake up with coffee, etc. I’m an OT, so I always assumed I’d have crafty kids with excellent fine motor skills. The other day I noticed ALex can’t string beads. Or copy any shape but a circle. I just don’t like to sit down and do those things right now. Technically, I’m a disgrace to my profession. But I am who I am, and because of that, Alex is developing my odd sense of humor, love of books and zest for anything that has to do with running, jumping, etc. I am who I am, and knowing that we’re all feeling this way, I’ll stop with the “I should be doing (insert educational activity here)”

By: adria

adria — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 04:00:00 +0000

This is a great post! You are one of the most wonderful moms I know. Charlie and Henry are very lucky!
I completely relate to all that was said here. This mommy career is very challenging, even when it involves fingerpainting and playdough.