November 7, 2007
if it weren’t November, I wouldn’t be sharing ANY of this
Last night, I decided that we needed a vegetable with dinner, something that hadn’t been frozen. So I went poking around in the pantry. And found this.
Once upon a time, that was a sweet potato. Who the hell knows what it is now. Whatever it is, it’s in my trash. Good riddance.
We had frozen peas with dinner.
Last night, Wade came home with a nice bottle of pinot for me. I put it in the freezer, to quick chill it.
And forgot all about it.
This morning, at FIVE FORTY FIVE, when I was making the kids’ lunch, I noticed a big puddle on the floor in front of the fridge. So I check the drip pan and no, the freezer isn’t defrosting, and the fridge side is working just fine. So I open the freezer.
Do you know what happens when you leave a bottle of wine in the freezer for, oh, eleven hours? IT EXPLODES.
There was broken glass and pinot slush all over the bottom of the freezer, and all over the frozen peas. Eventually, I wound up with pinot slush on the kitchen floor and in the laundry room, too. I don’t really know how that happened, because FIVE FORTY FIVE, but by the time I was finished cleaning up, the entire downstairs smelled like a frat house.
I tossed the trash in the garage, noting that there was a gigantic slice in the side of the trash bag (but did I DO anything about it? noooo, because FIVE FORTY FIVE), mopped the floor (at FIVE FORTY FIVE! AM!) and finished the lunches. And forgot all about the trash bag full of pinot slush that was sitting in my garage. With a hole in it.
Of course, after lunch, when I left to run errands, I was greeted by a large puddle of pinot in the garage, originating from the hole in the trash bag. Because not only will pinot FREEZE when you leave it in the freezer, it will MELT when you leave it in the garage. And now my garage had the same frat house smell I had JUST eradicated in the kitchen.
And that is how I wound up mopping my garage. The end. (Also, I don’t have any wine tonight, because I MOPPED THE GARAGE instead of going to the liquor store.)
Posted by Susan @ 8:36 pm • NoBloShoeMo, three martini parenting
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November 7th, 2007 at 9:01 pm, Deva Says:
wow
thta does happen sometimes…
November 7th, 2007 at 9:05 pm, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
Weird potato, but it makes for a rockin’ good blog post!
November 7th, 2007 at 9:05 pm, Kendra Says:
I’m sure you’re still not laughing-but your post sure was funny!
I have some pinot…wanna come over?
November 7th, 2007 at 9:38 pm, Jennie Says:
I think I may need to send you some wine.
In bulk.
November 7th, 2007 at 9:57 pm, Marlee Says:
Now, if you would’ve had a pair of googly eyeballs for that potato…
November 7th, 2007 at 10:35 pm, Angella Says:
Wine crime!
The potato, however, made me laugh out loud.
Not at you. WITH you.
November 7th, 2007 at 10:47 pm, Caitlin - Bridgets Flame Says:
And at no point were you not tempted to just grab a straw for that Pinot slushy?
Oh….ok…. that’s just me? Whistling and looking away now.
And don’t try telling me it was because it was FIVE FORTY FIVE because nothing makes me want to drink more than times of the day that are so horrific they require capitilisation!
November 8th, 2007 at 7:02 am, Jodi Says:
I’m thinking LIQUOR STORE, then mopping the garage would have been the proper order of actions. Or maybe: liquor store/one drink/another drink/mopping.
My husband has frozen a bottle of beer, so I feel your pain. Luckily, the damage was contained to the freezer, but oh what a mess in there.
November 8th, 2007 at 7:41 am, blackbird Says:
Potatoes like that skeeve me out.
See, in my house, we DO forget potatoes but we would NEVER forget the wine.
November 8th, 2007 at 8:05 am, M&Co. Says:
You know, Susan, I don’t know for sure but I don’t think that happens when you drink wine from a box.
November 8th, 2007 at 8:33 am, MamaChristy Says:
I think you may have just found the only valid reason to put ice in wine.
November 8th, 2007 at 9:55 am, Shan Says:
The second I read that you put the bottle in the freezer to “quick chill it”, I knew EXACTLY how the story was going to end. Oh Susan, the horror.
November 8th, 2007 at 10:51 am, Wendy Says:
I bet if you waited a little while longer that sweet potato would have gotten up and cleaned it all for you.
Patience is a virtue.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:04 am, heels Says:
Ha! Oh- sorry…
I remember one time I left three Juice Squeezes in the freezer. I forgot about it until I heard three pops a little later and briefly wondered who in hell would be shooting at my house. I found glass months later, even though I thought I had cleaned everything up so well.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:33 am, Aurora Says:
Ah…. ick! I don’t think I’ve ever heard the phrase “Pinot slushy” until now… what an image!!
November 8th, 2007 at 11:35 am, All Adither Says:
That potato has a good stylist.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:47 am, Sarah Says:
The potato looks like a sea anemone! Is Nemo hiding in there?
November 8th, 2007 at 1:38 pm, Irene Says:
Pinot slushies don’t sound half bad right now. And your potato looks like an angry punk rock chiapet.
November 8th, 2007 at 2:12 pm, arduous Says:
Yeah … I’ve had to deal with the frozen beer exploding thing. But at least it was all contained to the freezer. And a bottle of beer is smaller than a bottle of wine. But it still sucked.
November 8th, 2007 at 2:58 pm, jaime Says:
Heee! That is very funny. I did the exact same thing last week. We were in our brand new house for the first night, and I put a bottle of wine in the brand new freezer. At 3 a.m. I heard it go off like a shotgun and new exactly what that noise was! So, me, 3 a.m., cleaning up wine, and no buzz to be found.
November 8th, 2007 at 4:53 pm, Melissa Says:
That sucks!!! Sorry, the only way to describe it without resorting to swear words……I had a can of Diet Coke explode yesterday afternoon (which the man repairing my oven reported to me, once he heard the explosion)- But, at least I could drink my bottle of wine while cleaning up my coke mess. Made it much easier to deal with
November 8th, 2007 at 6:13 pm, kat Says:
oh the smell. the drink GREAT but the smell lingering. BLAH.
November 8th, 2007 at 7:48 pm, gorillabuns Says:
at my house, it’s a sin to forget wine in the freezer, sink or the trash.
November 9th, 2007 at 1:51 am, Kimenz Says:
Wine in the freezer? I totally knew this. It’s very unfortunate.
November 9th, 2007 at 5:47 pm, Sheri Says:
wow, your pantry grows amazing things!
November 10th, 2007 at 1:23 pm, FeeFiFoto Says:
A volunteer potato. How sweet!
November 10th, 2007 at 9:07 pm, Kristen Says:
Worst. Day. Ever. But I am laughing so hard!
November 10th, 2007 at 11:06 pm, MommyWithAttitude Says:
Sorry for laughing at your expense!
Get a wine bucket — that way if you get confused the worst you’ll find is a bottle of wine in a bucket of warm water in the morning.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:14 am, Heather B. Says:
Oh, Susan. Just…Oh.
November 14th, 2007 at 7:15 pm, Ilona Says:
Hey, a margarita is just a tequila slushie. Why not pinot? Except for the shards of glass, yeah…
Frozen peas? Did you cook them? Waste of effort. For YEARS my kids preferred their peas frozen, and I figured “Why argue?” They’re just as nutritious, and it saves one step and makes for one less pot to wash…