June 2, 2006
I can see clearly now
Every once in a while, I start to feel like I really have a grip on this whole parenting thing. My children eat a good meal, or sleep through the night three or four nights in a row, or play together nicely for more than thirty seconds, and I get a little smug. I start to think, hey, I really AM a good mother. I think about WRITING about how I’m a good mother, or maybe just rewarding myself with a little something from J. Crew for being such a good mother. I think about how unfortunate it is that I spend so much time beating myself up about all the things I’m doing wrong, when clearly I am doing so much RIGHT!
And then all hell breaks loose.
I took Henry to the eye doctor today, for his six month check up. The doctor looked him over and said, good! Great! Everything looks terrific! Way to go, buddy!
As we were leaving, while he was trying to get Charlie to give him a high five, he said, “Have you ever had Charlie’s eyes checked?”
Uh, no, I said, but he seems to be fine . . .
The doctor whipped out his super cool light and said, “Look here, Charlie.” He gazed into Charlie’s big blue eyes and said, “Uuuuhh, yeah. He’s pretty nearsighted in that one eye. I want to have a look at that.”
Dammit. Okay! I said, I’ll make an appointment and see you again in a few days, I guess . . .
“Nah,” he said, “let’s just do it now. We’ll get him checked in and dilate his eyes and I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.”
You know where this is going, don’t you? DON’T YOU???
Charlie needs glasses, too. He is nearsighted; his right eye is a 1.25 (normal) but his left is a 5.5 (incredibly and totally NOT normal).
After the doctor gave me the news, I stumbled around trying to explain exactly how this had happened, how it was possible that ONCE AGAIN I had failed to notice that my four-year-old couldn’t see (Henry’s vision problems weren’t caught until his four-year-old well-check, so I’m ahead of the game with Charlie–sort of). Well, see, I said, we never really NOTICED anything, because we were watching for the same kind of things that Henry did (Henry is painfully farsighted–he’s a +8 in one eye and a +9 in the other) like standing RIGHT IN FRONT of the television or not wanting to color, and Charlie never did ANY of those things so we just thought . . .
And the doctor (who I really liked before this but ADORE now) said, “Yeah, well, with your family history, it’s just one of those things.” See I’m still a good mother! With a terrible gene pool.
So $436.00 later, Charlie is set with some really cute wire-frame specs (ready next week) and I’m feeling like I should have been eating WAAAAY more carrots during both my pregnancies. Or like I should have married an ophthalmologist. I am certainly feeling like I should never ever even think about holding myself up as a model parent, unless the model you are looking for is the one that is unable to see past her own nose. Because of the family history of bad vision, of course.
Homestead has posted some updates on Nadine’s treatment; you can find them here and here. Read this post, too, while you’re at it. Please keep Nadine and Levi and their (momma and daddy) in your thoughts and prayers.
Posted by Susan @ 2:18 pm • Uncategorized
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June 2nd, 2006 at 4:01 pm, MJ Says:
I never notice things about my children. Ever. When they were getting teeth people would ask me how many teeth my children had and I’d stare blankly. Never occurred to me that I should count them! So, my children could possibly need glasses but I’ll need a professional to let me know.
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:22 pm, mama_tulip Says:
Oh god…I have *horrible* vision and both my parents wear/wore glasses, and I’ve never even *thought* about watching Julia for telltale signs.
*sigh*
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:23 pm, Granny Says:
Unless they’re walking into walls, it’s easy to miss when they’re that young They have no basis for comparison so they don’t complain.
I didn’t realize I had a “toe walker” until the orthopedic surgeon who works with her older sister happened to see Rebecca walk across a room.
Next thing we knew - casts for six weeks. That solved it for the most part but I felt so foolish. I missed that?
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:07 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
My dad is something like 400/20, and–lucky me!– I have his eyes.
So far Alex has checked out okay. (knocking on wood)
BTW, love the picture!
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:18 pm, Jenorama Says:
Oh dear. I have still got to get through Tommy’s dental work, and now I have to have their eyes checked too?
Gah!
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:29 pm, fluentsoul Says:
One day when my dad went to pick my brother up from Cub Scouts and noticed a kid who could hardly walk, and my dad was thinking how terrible that the kid’s parents never took him to get that checked out. And then lo and behold, he realized it was his own son. Turns out my brother had Leggs Perthese disease and needed a brace on his leg. Missing these things in our own kids is pretty common. It doesn’t make you a bad parent at all.
June 2nd, 2006 at 7:37 pm, Susan Says:
Fluentsoul, I probably shouldn’t be giggling, but I love that your dad didn’t realize he was looking at his own son. I have moments like that all the time.
Although most of the time I just forget their names.
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:13 pm, Mary P. Says:
It was a teacher who told my mother that she should get my eyes checked. I was eleven. Eleven! My mother is a nurse. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with my vision, because, as Granny said, I had no basis of comparison. Blurry was just how the world looked, right? It was probably because I was such a keener and WANTED to sit right at the front that it had never bothered me before. By fifth grade, though, I was squinting.
So off to the optometrist I go, and I come back with big thick glasses. I walk through the door, my grandfather sits up and says from across the living room, “Well, put them on, love! Let’s see!”
I put them on and say, “Grandad, you need to shave!”
He said, “Okay. You can take them off now.”
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:25 pm, Mir Says:
Oh PUHLEAZE. We had this running joke about how Chickadee was a klutz like me from infanthood onward. She was just SO clumsy, but she was a toddler and it was cute and blah blah blah–her daycare lady said to me “Yeah, um, she has a lazy eye. You should have her checked.” Hey! Guess what! She had a lazy eye we’d never noticed, and the doc said she basically had NO depth perception whatsoever.
Yeah, that was a proud mama moment. Not.
The slightly redeeming news is that I’ve taken Monkey in on two separate occasions INSISTING that his eye is crossing (because I watch him like a hawk), only to have the doctor gently explain to me (again) about PSEUDOstrabismus. He’s fine. Heh.
June 3rd, 2006 at 8:10 am, Velma Says:
I have those “Doh!” moments aaaaaall the time. The only good thing is that looking back, I know my parents went through the same stuff. There are lots of stories like how my younger sister got sent home from her first day of school with a note informing them that she was being moved to another class because she could already read.
They called the school and told them that she couldn’t read yet. The teacher said, “Oh yeah? Ask her.” Yup, she sat down and read a chapter fluently out loud.
“You never asked.”
June 3rd, 2006 at 1:54 pm, ieatcrayonz Says:
I’m going to the eye doctor next week. Damn, I hope I don’t spend that much.
June 3rd, 2006 at 1:54 pm, Joel Says:
As consolation, since he has one good eye, he was probably compensating with it. When I take off my glasses I focus with my right eye because it’s about twice as good as my left. If both is eyes were bad and you didn’t notice anything at all, that’d be worse.
June 3rd, 2006 at 7:22 pm, melynda Says:
Susan, don’t feel bad. My mother used to work with a neurologist who had completely overlooked his own child’s seizures. The Dr. was explaining about a case he was working on at dinner one night when his son said, “Oh, yeah. I do that, too.”
It’s so hard to be objective about our own children.
June 3rd, 2006 at 10:03 pm, Suburban Turmoil Says:
Ha ha! You’re making me very thankful my dad is an ophthalmologist. Free glasses for everyone, baby!
June 10th, 2006 at 8:29 am, Nire Says:
“They” didn’t catch the fact that I was so damned nearsighted that I was basically blind until I was in my teens.
I’m a 6.somethingorother in both eyes and, let me tell you, it wasn’t a big deal to live with before I had glasses. It’s just How the World Is until you know different.
You just suck at being a navigator for your mum ’cause you can’t read road signs.