February 28, 2006
how are you celebrating Shrove Tuesday?
I grew up Catholic, which meant that the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday was the day when my friends and I all had to decide what we were going to Give Up For Lent. In elementary school, we always gave up stupid things, like gum! and candy! which none of us really ever had anyway (and we certainly never had gum at school). But honestly, it’s hard when you are eight or nine or ten to really give up anything of significance. My father suggested, one year, that instead of giving up something that we wouldn’t be missing we try to do something instead, like pick up our rooms or make our beds before my mother had to ask us for the 200th time. I remember liking this idea, although I don’t remember if I actually followed through.
Despite the fact that I’m not a churchgoing person as an adult, I still like the notion of Lent as a time of mindfulness. After struggling with my dissertation for three years, I tried ‘giving’ it up for Lent; my insomnia went away and I was able to focus on reading and writing and teaching in ways I hadn’t been able to when I was ‘working’ on the dissertation. In the past few years, I have tried to see Lent as a time to focus on the details of my life and my day–to play more with my children, to call or e-mail friends I have lost touch with, to take time to meditate or just breathe.
This year, for the next 40 days, I want to consciously seek the peaceful moments in my day, the times when I am not feeling rushed or pulled in a hundred directions, the times when I am still and calm. I want to focus more on each moment instead of worrying about the future. I want to feel like my days are a series of connected occurrences rather than a blur of errands and tantrums and dishes. I can do that for forty days, I think.
I also have a writing project that I want to finish, which will require starting, as it is all still in my head. And no, I’m not telling what it is; you will have to wait and see, although I will say that it is something that started here. I will also say that you should read this (and if you really have some time to kill, you can read the comments too–all 1,000 plus of them) because any more, for me, writing is about the conversation not the isolated words on the paper.
Today, though, as it is supposed to be 80 degrees here, I am going to take the boys to the zoo, and then we are going out for donuts (although they will be Krispy Kreme, not proper beignets) to celebrate the start of forty peaceful days at our house.
Posted by Susan @ 10:40 am • Uncategorized
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February 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am, MamaChristy Says:
I look forward to seeing what you have to say. I never feel like I didn’t make the right choice to stay home with my son, but some days are harder than others. Have fun at the zoo. It’s warm here too so we are having a playdate at the park. FUN!
February 28th, 2006 at 1:07 pm, Mary P. Says:
Pancake supper at the local church tonight. As for giving something up? I don’t know. My life is so filled with things I should do but don’t/can’t, things I need but can’t have, things I’d like but don’t have a hope of… Giving something up seems a little, oh, I don’t know, redundant.
Still, I like the idea of focus and centering. I like putting a positive, conscious spin on this. I will have to give it some thought.
February 28th, 2006 at 1:45 pm, Felicity Says:
A)So sorry, Susan, as much as I love you, and I DO! LOVE YOU!, I don’t care for dooce. So I’m not going there. But I’m sure that whatever you say about any topic will border on brilliant, if not be downright amazing.
I’m not Catholic or even neccessarily Christian but I do consider myself very spiritual…I’ve been feeling very introspective as of late and maybe this season is at the root of that. If anyone asks you what you’ve given up, tell them, Stress!
February 28th, 2006 at 2:18 pm, nina Says:
You’ve inspired me to “give up” something for Lent (though I’m not Catholic, but that’s okay!) Just gotta think about what….
February 28th, 2006 at 2:26 pm, Kara Says:
80 degrees?! The zoo?! donuts?!
you guys stink. i’m going to give up work for lent. then i’m going someplace where it’s 80 degrees and i can go to the zoo and eat donuts.
wow. that was easy.
February 28th, 2006 at 2:45 pm, Susan Says:
Kara, you totally have the hang of this.
If you’re going to give something up, give up something that’s dragging you down. Stop watching the news if it makes you sad or angry; don’t answer the phone every single time it rings; get rid of (or pack up and store) those pants that are taunting you.
Instead, DO something. Take a bath! Read a really good book! Light candles at the dinner table! Leave little love notes in your children’s bags or your spouse’s briefcase.
I think that’s what my dad was getting at.
February 28th, 2006 at 4:04 pm, MJ Says:
I’m a (lapsed) Catholic too and every Lent as a child I’d give up honey. This was really, really hard for me. In fact, it’d be incredibly hard for me today. As I got older, my mother–like your father–had us focus more on acts of kindness, self-control, self-improvement, etc.
I like your ideas for Lent. I think I’ll try meditating as often as possible (hey, it’s close to prayer) and work on developing my patience with my children. (I really need to work on the patience. It will be as hard as giving up honey.)
Thanks, Susan for the thoughtful (and thought-provoking) post.
February 28th, 2006 at 4:17 pm, adria Says:
Sun, zoo, and donuts sounds better than rain, wind, and birthday party on a Tuesday morning at a kid pizza place.
No plans to give up anything for Lent, but I do plan to start the spring cleaning soon - like windows and places I have not touched since last spring. And this should take 40 days - Lent is 40 days long, right?
Can’t wait to read what you are writing about the ‘mommy wars’!
February 28th, 2006 at 5:00 pm, kfk Says:
As if giving up meat for fish on Fridays isn’t enough! Hmmm, I haven’t even given it any thought. They should excommunicate me now! But, you have a good point. Instead of giving something up, lets improve the things we do.
How I’d love to give up the winter, though and experience an 80 degree day!
February 28th, 2006 at 5:35 pm, Jenorama Says:
I noticed that Dooce had written about that topic. And I can only assume that she got it from you.
Congrats on choosing a Lenten project! I should do the same, even though I was raised Mormon and am now nothing.
February 28th, 2006 at 7:36 pm, Kristen Says:
Susan, they say if you can do something for 40 days, you will have formed a new habit. Imagine a WHOLE LIFE of finding peaceful moments every day. Now THAT’s inspiring.
February 28th, 2006 at 8:52 pm, moe Says:
I am not Catholic but my Dh is.
I’m wit Kara I want to give up -20c wind chill and go to the zoo and eat doughnuts!
Actually for the past 4 years my family (5 kids) give up TV. The kids actually like it. After the first year they remind us we have to do this for Lent.
February 28th, 2006 at 9:00 pm, L. Says:
I thought about giving up blogging, then thought, NAAAAAH.
So I`m giving up housework.
February 28th, 2006 at 9:12 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
I want Zen for forty days! Good idea.
I’m going to try Self Control (in terms of patience and Doritos in particular)
And how am I celebrating today, you asked in your title? It’s my birthday, sistah. I’m eating cake, admiring the flowers that Hausfrau sent me, and trying not to notice that I’m now offically in my mid-thirties.
February 28th, 2006 at 10:51 pm, CarpeDM Says:
I joined Weight Watchers. Does that count as giving up something for Lent because I have officially given up binge eating. Sort of.
I want to go to the zoo. Stupid Minnesota with stupid 25 degree weather.
March 1st, 2006 at 12:34 am, jw Says:
Oh, I second L.: I’ll give up housework (but in order to give up that means I should have already been doing some. Hmmmm.)