April 27, 2006
genetically predistracted
Hello! My name is Susan and I am a Terrible Mother.
One morning recently, Henry got distracted while he was getting dressed for school and just forgot to get dressed! Well, not entirely–he put on his t-shirt and then apparently saw something shiny on the floor, because when we got ready to leave for school (an hour later) I realized that he was still wearing his pajama shorts and the socks he had slept in (which come up to his knees–because he pulls them ALL THE WAY UP he is only allowed to wear ankle socks with shorts. Go ahead, tell me how mean that is–not NEARLY as mean as kids at school making fun of him for his knee socks, trust me). Where was I for that hour, you ask? I was loading the dishwasher and folding some laundry and maybe checking my e-mail. GETTING THINGS DONE, people! Come on, why else is Sesame Street on in the mornings? So parents can GET THINGS DONE.
Okay, so ever since then, I’ve been laughing about the boy forgetting to get dressed, because it really is funny and I am mean that way. But after today, I’m not really laughing.
No, no one left my house in their undewear. Worse! I completely forgot that Henry’s class was going on a FIELD TRIP. To see some Clydesdale horses. Which are REALLY BIG. And horse-like. Have I mentioned Henry’s fear of dogs? And all animals larger than Charlie? Yes! And I sent my kid to school to see the horses without ANY advance warning or preparation or even a LUNCH. I suck.
It went down like this: I left to go meet with our psychologist and my parents took H to school. Halfway through my appointment, my cell phone rang; I looked at the caller ID to be sure it wasn’t one of the boys’ schools calling to say OH MY GOD HE BROKE HIS ARM and instead it was my mother, who was calling to say, “Did you know that Henry’s class was going on a field trip?” And I said, “Ummm, no? Ummm, where did they go? Well, okay! See you soon!”
Ironically, when my phone rang, I was talking to the psychologist about how Henry has a hard time with unexpected transitions. Ha ha ha.
Fortunately, my parents were totally on the ball; rather than just tossing Henry out of the car in front of his school, they stopped to tell the teacher that they would be picking him up for lunch, and when she said, “But we have a field trip! And he needs a lunch!” they went back to my house and MADE HIM A LUNCH and took it back to his school. And then resisted what MUST have been a nearly overwhelming urge to mock me for being such a space case (to my face, at least; I have no idea what they were saying in the hour before I met up with them. If they are anything like Wade and me, they were laughing hysterically about my maternal suckage. As they should have been! Because I suck).
On Monday, we met with the pediatric neurodevelopmental consultant, who told us that he doesn’t believe that ADHD is a chemical imbalance; instead, he says, it is a combination of genetic factors. Charlie got my blue eyes and predisposition for strep throat. Henry got my propensity to be distracted by
Oooh, look, J. Crew has new espadrilles!
Posted by Susan @ 7:32 pm • Uncategorized
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
April 27th, 2006 at 9:36 pm, Kathryn Says:
Poor thing. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re a distracted mommy. Your story is one I expect will play out in my life before too long. How does an ADD mom cope with permission slips and field trips? Probably not so well. If it helps at all, you are so not alone.
April 28th, 2006 at 6:21 am, Caloden Says:
My son is nearly 13 and frequently forgets to finish dressing himself -mostly socks. He just spaces out and forgets time. And all those pieces of paper the kids bring home from school about upcoming events? How are we supposed to keep track of those? I’m usually too busy looking for socks or looking out the window when something random catches my attention….
You don’t suck. For those of us who have spacey tendancies, motherhood makes it tenfold -at least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
April 28th, 2006 at 7:37 am, Mamacita Tina Says:
So glad I came across your blog. Last night while I was taking care of our 3 month old, my husband was getting a bath ready for our toddler. When our son ran through our bedroom naked, it didn’t click in my mind that he wasn’t potty trained yet. Needless to say his little fire hose went off. Hello, brain, are you there? Anyway, thanks for sharing your story so we all feel like we’re on the same boat.
April 28th, 2006 at 7:55 am, Suburban Turmoil Says:
Oh, this happens to all of us. I’m just stuck on the sentence where you and Wade laugh about it. Because whenever my maternal suckage becomes evident, my husband has a charming way of fuming and comparing it to his own paternal perfection and that is soooo very annoying…
April 28th, 2006 at 8:13 am, MJ Says:
So, did you get the shoes?
I think that we all have so much on our plates that it’s really easy to forget a change in routine. You were focused on Henry…just on your appointment with the specialist not about lunch and horses. (Hey at least you didn’t yell at your children and tell them they’d never ride their bikes again if they didn’t listen. Not that I did that.)
Did Henry do okay?
April 28th, 2006 at 8:26 am, Laura Says:
Hi Susan! My name is Laura and I am a Worse Mommy ever too!
Hope Henry did ok, and you got some nice shoes.
Otherwise? Breathe deeply and have a drink. Motherhood is hard, and contrary to what the bookstores may have you believe, there is no manual for it that covers everything, to include the kinds of kids you and I have. And you are nowhere near worst mother ever. (And I should know, I have the territory south of Highway 62 in MN covered.) If you still have your ability to laugh, you are a long ways ahead. And, BTW, great parents you have there!
April 28th, 2006 at 9:23 am, Velma Says:
I’m right there with you, you know. My family has made fun of me since childhood for my easily distractible ways. My mother said I was the only one of her children who, when sent to clean their room, would emerge an hour later with a sheepish look on their face and an even messier room! (What can I say? Everything is just so interesting!)
As an adult, I have to carefully monitor my time. Otherwise, just like this morning, whole blocks of time get swallowed up internet-cruising, cookbook-reading, meal-planning for meals I’ll never actually cook, and hey! Didn’t I have some lemongrass somewhere? Gotta run…
April 28th, 2006 at 9:33 am, Kara Says:
am i to believe that somebody, at some point, actually told you the AD/HD is caused by a chemical imbalance? did they tell you that a chiropractor or bluegreen algae or snake oil will fix it too? good god in heaven. i want to send the world to an information session on AD/HD right now.
will not hijack you comments, but damn! reading that sentence just hit a nerve. i’ll do another CEU post on my site in the near future.
April 28th, 2006 at 10:50 am, Kristen Says:
My husband woke me up this morning to ask where the twin’s shirts were. I said, “I didn’t know everything was dirty.” He threw a fit so I basically told him to grab two shirts, throw them in the washer and then throw them in the dryer when he left for work and I would get them out when they were dry. Until they left for school they could keep their pajama shirts on.
How did I forget to do the laundry?
April 28th, 2006 at 2:58 pm, Mary P. Says:
Forgetting a field trip? That’s nothing! I forget to cook. Suppertime rolls round, and the kids are saying “what’s for dinner” and I say “food? I have to feed you? AGAIN? I just DID that!”
So can I get upset when my son is really, really absent-minded? Well, yes, actually, I can, but that’s because I’m a rotten mother! (ha.ha.)
Happily, now that he’s in high school, land of skippers and deliberate non-communicators, his school has this fancy-schmanzy automated dialler. “Hello. This is Your Child’s Collegiate Institue, calling to tell you that Thursday is Meet-the-Teacher”. (Or more ominously, “…to tell you that your child was absent from Physics class yesterday afternoon…” Not that I’ve ever got THAT phone call, nuh-uh.)
April 28th, 2006 at 4:29 pm, standing still for once Says:
Ah. The shiny object on the floor. Or, the baseball card collection which I, the meanest mother in the WORLD hat to take away until assignments and cello practicing are done. And, I’m sitting here reading YOUR blog instead of working on cello. Yea, we’re the worst. How about all of us worst moms buy some really expensive plane tickets and abandon our kids while we go to some exotic spa with slushy drinks that have more than 10 liquors in them (we can turn on the t.v., and they won’t know we’re gone for like 5 minutes until they need a snack or their ass wiped). No? Okay, but it WAS a good idea.
April 28th, 2006 at 8:52 pm, Cmommy Says:
Oh, please, can we be friends?! We have a pediatric neurologist, too! For the five yr-old! He’s our spirited child
Forgetting the field trip is peanuts–now, if you’d forgotten the Dr. appointment….
{}C
April 30th, 2006 at 1:40 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
Oh stop it–if you won’t let me be the worst.mommy.ever, then neither can you!
I have three pairs of espadrilles for the summer, but I forgot to buy the baby diapers. It happens.