April 24, 2008
four-OH!
Today is my birthday; I am 40. I could wax eloquent about all the things I expected to do before I was 40 or all the things I hope to do now that I am 40, but instead I will tell you about my day, because you will NEVER BELIEVE THIS.
My birthday went like this: get up, get dressed (in an actual DRESS even because I was going to have lunch with my husband and then go to the Apple store to replace my iBook’s power cord and perhaps also stop at J. Crew because IT IS MY BIRTHDAY), get kids up, get kids dressed, take kids to school. Come home, eat cereal, read New York Times, get ready to talk with magazine editor about writing for magazine. Call editor, leave message, think about starting to clean up house.
And then the school calls because Henry has an ear infection and has cried the ENTIRE WAY through Mass. Woo!
I spent the rest of the day with a kid who alternately felt FINE and wanted to tell me IN GREAT DETAIL about an episode of SpongeBob he watched TWO WEEKS AGO when Charlie was forbidden to move and was watching TV for twelve consecutive hours each day and then felt HORRIBLE and cried and sobbed and wailed and moaned and clung to me with all his strength and power and 63 pounds of heft.
All this was all before lunch, which clearly I was NOT going to spend in a grown-up restaurant with my husband. Instead we took Henry (who was feeling pretty good at that particular moment) to HIS favorite restaurant, a local sandwich place that I have decided I am OVER. And we had a lovely lunch even though I am OVER Gourmet Deli. Sorry.
After lunch, Henry spent what seemed like a hundred hours but was probably only one sobbing and crying and insisting that I FIX HIS EAR RIGHT NOW. And then he was fine again and we picked Charlie up and they talked about their days and then we got to the doctor and he sobbed in the waiting room and then we went into the examining room and he was polite and cooperative and then we left to drive through at the pharmacy and he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and insisted that the people in front of us FINISH ALREADY AND GET OUT OF THE WAY because his EAR HURT WHY DIDN’T ANYONE CARE THAT HIS EAR HURT AND WHY WEREN’T WE GETTING THE MEDICINE AND HIS EAR HURT DID I HEAR HIM ABOUT HIS EAR WHY AREN’T WE GOING HOME YET OWOWOWOW ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS MAKEITSTOPNOW!!!
I’m guessing that I must have passed out about then because I have no idea what was next.
So far, being 40 feels just like being 39 and 30 and 25, except for the part about the screaming kid, which I would never have seen coming a decade ago (or really even yesterday because who knew he had an ear infection?!? not me, clearly). Apparently 40 is the new 30, whatever that means, although I think really it just means that a whole group of us is getting old and trying desperately to turn old into cool which just seems kind of lame to me.
And that is what I have learned at 40: trying to be cool is lame. Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen! Apparently I my work here is done.
Posted by Susan @ 9:18 pm • three martini parenting, those damn kids
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April 24th, 2008 at 9:42 pm, Erika Says:
Happy Birthday!! I am dealing with a scabies outbreak in my house. It isn’t my birthday though.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:54 pm, blackbird Says:
- I’ll bet you LOOKED pretty damn good though…
Happy Birthday.
(You are going to win a parenting award you know.)
April 24th, 2008 at 9:56 pm, Adam Finch Says:
WOW!! I can’t imagine how much love it takes to be a parent. How much patience it takes to make it through a day like that! Well…I’m less than 4 months away from discovering what it takes…I hope I have an ounce of the patience you have, maybe I’ll make it.
Soon to be dad,
Adam
April 24th, 2008 at 9:57 pm, Alison Says:
Wow. I think you need to call a do-over and have that birthday lunch/shopping day as soon as Henry feels better.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:58 pm, Mandee Says:
Happy Birthday!
April 24th, 2008 at 10:06 pm, regan Says:
Happy Birthday Susan! I hope when I’m 40 I’m as cool as you.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:31 pm, whoorl Says:
Happy Birthday, my dearest!
April 24th, 2008 at 10:41 pm, michele Says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
If I had your address, I’d so send you flowers. With earplugs. Do they make those?
April 24th, 2008 at 10:48 pm, merrymishaps Says:
Happy Birthday!
You’re allowed to re-celebrate once Henry is feeling better!
April 24th, 2008 at 10:48 pm, Jaime Says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Hope your weekend is better.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:57 pm, daysgoby Says:
Happy Birthday!
I’d say ‘And Many More’, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want any more exactly like this one…..
April 24th, 2008 at 11:16 pm, jenB Says:
Happy Birthday! I say you celebrate all year long. I will buy you a drink or 6 at BlogHer. If you are what 40 is, I am looking forward to it.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:18 pm, jm Says:
Happy Birthday!
You know, it’s funny. When I was a little kid, I thought 40 was ancient. OLDDD! As in “You, kids! Get off my lawn!!!” (waves cane around for emphasis).
That kind of old.
Yet, here you are are, looking like a haht mama, with spiffy shoes, and a two kids who are still pretty small. No cane waving for you, m’dear! I think that, if you miss b-day lunch because of kid emergency, you get a do over PLUS a pedi/mani. It’s in the rulebook.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:22 pm, Lisa Milton Says:
*happy happy birthday to you*
April 24th, 2008 at 11:45 pm, slynnro Says:
Happy Birthday!
April 24th, 2008 at 11:52 pm, Angella Says:
I promise to buy you a cocktail (or three) at BlogHer.
Happy Birthday, beautiful friend.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:55 am, Headless Mom Says:
Happy Birthday!
And I’m not far behind you…about 10 (?) weeks to go? I agree with some of those above-if you’re what 40 looks like, I want some too!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:07 am, Missy Says:
Happy Birthday! I agree with merrymishaps - you should draw the celebrations part out as long as you can. The ear infection part, not so much.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:07 am, Heather B. Says:
You know why I didn’t come to Oklahoma? Because I knew that Henry would have an ear infection and there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to help me drown out whining.
I am going to make an excellent parent one day.
Have I wished you Happy Birthday yet? Oh, I’m sorry have I done it like 498 times already? Well here is the 499th time, Happy (Belated) Birthday, Susan.
April 25th, 2008 at 7:21 am, Crisanne Says:
Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday! And may the antibiotics work quickly!!
April 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am, gorillabuns Says:
Hope today is a better day.
Happy belated B-Day!
April 25th, 2008 at 8:28 am, MamaChristy Says:
Wow. Well, happy belated birthday anyway.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am, Mama Bear Says:
I agree with the other comments on a re-do birthday. 40 only comes once, next time everyone is off at school and healthy, have a re-do 40th birthday day.
Here my nearly 40 self is dealing with a stomach virus for Miss 9. Third time this school year. Hoo boy!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am, Jenn @ Juggling Life Says:
Happy Birthday.
I think you need to try for the celebration again. Perhaps involve a babysitter this time.
If you had been a child bride like me, the youngest would be 9 and all the kids could clean the house while hubs planned a surprise party, and the oldest could drive people home who had too much to drink!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:47 am, Sue Says:
Ok - so your birthday was not so much happy. You get a total do-over. And, for forty, you get to celebrate for the whole year, didn’t you see that clause on your AARP card when it arrived? So drink up those antibiotics, Henry and go back to school. Your mom has some celebrating to do!
Hope today is better.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:01 am, Sherry Says:
I’m turning 40 in 11 days. Crossing fingers for no Sicky Sickertons!
April 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am, Annika Says:
Oh dear–if 40 is the new 30 and I am only turning 30 this year, do I even exist?
Happy Birthday! I hope you get to have a grown-up lunch soon.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am, Karianna Says:
I’ve just now started to get the amused looks when I use the words “cool” and “awesome.” Clearly I am neither. But, I hope I am as beautiful as you are when I turn 40.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
April 25th, 2008 at 11:20 am, crockpot lady Says:
Happy Birthday, Susan! I hope I am as cool and un-lame as you are when I turn forty.
April 25th, 2008 at 12:39 pm, roolalenska Says:
When I told you I hoped that your birthday didn’t include any broken bones I guess I should have included all other conditions requiring medical attention. I hope that your weekend plans go more according to plan.
April 25th, 2008 at 1:18 pm, Moose Says:
Happy Birthday! May you be blessed with many more cute shoes. (And, um, I’ll take your old ones!)
April 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm, ie Says:
Happy Birthday! I hope tonight or this weekend makes up for deli lunch. Have fun!
April 25th, 2008 at 4:43 pm, Stephanie Says:
Well happy birthday, anyway.
I still think you are fabulous.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:55 pm, standing still Says:
Happy Birthday, and welcome to the years of “fuck Mom’s birthday, it’s all about us” and the never ceasing love of your progeny. Go directly to j.crew.com and spent exactly 5 times as much as you would have spent, because you earned it, Birthday Girl.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm, ollka Says:
Happy birthday! You’re so patient, wow. I know for sure I’d be SO MAD it’d be like a whale exploded right in the house. On your birthday, I wish you even more patience, but much less reasons to use it.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:44 pm, Aurora Says:
Joining in the rousing chorus of Happy Birthday… I’m singing the high soprano harmony part… can you hear it over the yelling?
April 25th, 2008 at 7:52 pm, Rocks In My Dryer Says:
Well, happy birthday anyway!
April 25th, 2008 at 8:05 pm, SoMo Says:
Happy Birthday!!!
April 25th, 2008 at 8:39 pm, karyn Says:
Hope it was happyish anyway… You realize, of course, that since forty is the new thirty, you are now years, YEARS, younger than I am.
(Is this that ‘new math’???)
April 26th, 2008 at 1:55 am, Gina Says:
Happy Happy Birthday!!! Hope you have some time to celebrate and relax a bit! I turn 40 this year too and let me tell you, I’m SO excited! (joking here) Enjoy the weekend.
April 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am, katy Says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSAN!!!! As I have for the past 3 birthdays that I’ve “known” you, I’m raising a margarita up in your direction!
April 26th, 2008 at 8:26 pm, Shan Says:
Oh my god, I was gone at a conference for 2 straight days with no computer and here you went and had a birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Even if it kinda sucked! I will tell you this: I really, really hope that I am talking to a magazine around writing for them when I am 40. Good luck.
April 27th, 2008 at 3:12 am, Lullaby Says:
Happy Birthday!
See, nothing has changed, it’s like you haven’t aged a day!
April 27th, 2008 at 6:53 pm, Linda Sherman Says:
Happy Birthday Susan!
It’s all perspective. From mine, you’re quite young!
I recall feeling very sexy when I was 40. I’m more than that now and I’m still fabulous.
Enjoy!
I hope to have the opportunity to meet you at BlogHer in July.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:29 pm, Kim (Kian) Says:
OH! Oh I’m sorry all that happened but I want to wish you a belated Happy Birthday anyway!
And I want to tell you (as a lame-ass birthday gift) that you are a major influence on me, even though we’ve never met and the chances of us meeting are rather slim. You seem very cool. And you handle shit well
April 28th, 2008 at 12:45 pm, Izzy Says:
I can’t believe you’re forty! I mean *I* am forty, which I totally believe but you? I thought you were easily in your early thirties. And yes, forty does feel the same as 39, 38, 37 etc. which always makes me wonder if our parents just looked old but deep down inside, they still felt 35 when they were 60.
Happy Birthday!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 4:19 pm, Aimee Greeblemonkey Says:
Happy belated birthday! Our special days are 3 days apart! Go April!
May 1st, 2008 at 2:02 pm, jenijen Says:
Happy Birthday a week late!
xoxo