April 30, 2007
for the record, I do not feel guilty about the toilet
Henry seems to have recovered from Friday’s tragedy; thanks to everyone who e-mailed to say HE WILL GET OVER IT! Although I suspect that when I pick him up today he will start in with the recriminations again. And with good cause, I suppose. Anyway, I’m over the guilt today and back to the usual Monday rut, you know, paying bills, balancing the checkbook, trying to get the toilet fixed. Yes, the new toilet! That one! Again!
Dammit.
Last night, while Henry was in the tub, I went to sit with him and relieve Wade who needed to go do something Very Important (I don’t remember what, I’m sorry, but I’m sure it’s not worth the effort anyway). I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, looked at the floor, and said, “Where the hell is all this water coming from?”
Henry said, “I didn’t do it!” No, I said, I didn’t think he did. I looked at Wade, who had stopped in the doorway on his way to do the Very Important Thing, and said, “I think the toilet is leaking. Again.”
“Are you kidding?” he said. I changed into some sweats and got down on the floor to look at the toilet and sure enough! Leaking! Where the tank screws into the bottom part.
Dammit.
THIS time I remembered to turn the water off (ha ha, look at me!) although I did NOT think to flush the toilet after that, which means that it’s still leaking because there is still water in the tank. But still! I remembered to turn the water off! Yay me! Then I wrote a little sign to go on the lid that said DO NOT USE and had a drawing of a toilet with a circle around it and a line through it, although that part of the sign was pretty ineffective.
Henry: What is that a picture of?
Me: A potty.
Henry: Oooookaaaaay.
Charlie: Why did you scribble on it?
Me: I didn’t.
Charlie: Yes you did, you drew lines over it. You scribbled.
Me: No, see, that shows you not to USE the potty.
Henry: But the sign says DO NOT USE.
Me: Charlie can’t read.
Charlie: I can read THAT.
Me: Just don’t use that potty.
I called the plumbers this morning and happily said, “That toilet that you all installed? Seems to be defective!” And they said, “We’ll come right out! And charge you $94.50 to fix it.” I’ll let you imagine what I said in return. Because that may be too adult even for this site.
I called my parents, to consult with my dad (my mom answered the phone and when I said, “I have a plumbing question,” she said, “Oh, yes I can answer that!” and then we both laughed because that’s so funny!). My dad wasn’t home just then but he called me back while I was at the grocery and I told him the whole story, with emphasis on my indignation at the plumbing company’s complete refusal to DO ANYTHING, and he told me what to do (which initially included careful directions about how to fix the leaking gasket myself, and then, in a follow up phone call, became directions to find another plumber, which is really the best advice of all).
Anyway, there I am, in the bread aisle at SuperTarget, pushing my cart with one hand and holding my cell phone with the other and saying, “It’s a BRAND NEW toilet! And it is LEAKING all over the BATHROOM FLOOR! I do NOT need this today!” I’m sure people loved that. I am also always sure, at a moment like that, that THIS will be the day someone recognizes me and says “I read your blog!” You know, when I’m on my cell phone yelling about my toilet.
That would be awesome.
I have too many things to do today to feel guilty about missing a birthday party last week. Also, I’m too busy announcing to the Internet that I never breastfed my children and being amazed at how kind and thoughtful people can be. (Be sure to read Jennifer Scharpen’s post about her ten years of breastfeeding, while you’re over there. Amazing, and I mean that in a really good way.) And if you ever see me in the SuperTarget, talking on the phone and tossing loaves of bread in my cart, please say hello! If you’re really lucky, you might get to hear all about my toilet.
Posted by Susan @ 1:05 pm • Uncategorized
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April 30th, 2007 at 6:38 pm, Kellie Says:
I’m a HUGE stalker of your site…I am here every day (shhh, sometimes, I am here several times IN CASE you’ve updated!!). I don’t ever comment, because really? You’re entirely too cool for me and any comment I leave would make me look like a total schmo (kinda like what I’m currently doing??!!).
ANYWAY….SUPER Target? YOU have a SUPER Target? I am a HIGHLY addicted to Target and thought I was in Heaven with SEVEN of them within 35 minutes of my house AND the Distribution Center 15 minutes away!! But…a SUPER Target??!! God, I NEED one of those!!
Oh right…not all about me…so, ummm, hope the toilet isn’t leaking anymore? And, sorry your little boy missed the party. I’m sure he’s over it??
April 30th, 2007 at 6:49 pm, Susan Says:
Oh, Kellie, you haven’t lived until you’ve been to SuperTarget. It’s Target! with groceries! and Starbucks!
I could live there. Hell, I almost do.
April 30th, 2007 at 7:17 pm, susie Says:
Wait a sec…SuperTargets have STARBUCKS? All that Target-y goodness and latte love? I am jealous. We only have Target Greatland and there is no Starbucks in site. Well there is right next door…but that’s different.
May 1st, 2007 at 9:46 am, Janssen Says:
I absolutely loved your brestfeeding post. My mom couldn’t breastfeed for more than a few weeks with any of her kids and I anticipate that I may have the same problem, so I’m glad to see people writing about the fact that not breastfeeding doesn’t make you a terrible mother or that your kid is going to be a total idiot because the forumla will kill off brain cells one by one. Thanks!