(Answer: ZERO! Because I’m the only one who will eat it any more, which is sad, because I make a damn fine beans and rice. Although even I’m getting a little tired of it. But shh don’t tell anyone in my house.)

I need a robot to make me dinner. Rosie, from the Jetsons! Remember her? How awesome would that be? I loved Rosie.

Since I do not have a Rosie (dammit) I have to rely on my iPhone — not to cook, of course, just to help me plan. Last winter, I wrote about the Kraft iFood Assistant app –  I loved it then, and I love it now. Kraft has relaunched the app, with videos, which are awesome because I need as much direction as I can get. More, sometimes.

The iFood app lets you organize recipes and grocery lists right on your iPhone — for cooking challenged folks like me, this is a dream come true. I’m just hoping that the next upgrade will include some mechanism that actually cooks the dinner, but that seems like a lot to ask, even of an iPhone.

But I’m still hopeful!

This new version of the iFood Assistant also includes a reminder function, which means that you can plan your menu and then have your phone remind you of your plans. So instead of staring into the freezer at 5:30, you can have the reminder pop up early enough to actually get dinner on the table.

(Also, how ironic is it that the screen shot is for a bean dish? So ironic!)

I really love my iFood app, and I think you’ll love it, too — and so I’m hosting a little giveaway, to hook you up with your own pocket chef.

What’s up for grabs? Two $25 iTunes gift cards (the iFood Assistant is available through iTunes, for 99 cents)  and a $50 American Express gift card that you can use to shop for groceries (or shoes, whatever, I don’t judge).  Either way, you can turn dinner into a party, which is nice on a Wednesday night.

This is a Twitter contest, and the theme is food — specifically, foods that you wish you knew how to prepare (or if you’re already someone who cooks, foods you just don’t prepare often enough). To enter, follow @SusanW and send me a reply tweet with the food (or foods) you wish you were serving. You can include the hashtag #iFood if you want other people to be able to search other entries from your answer, but that’s optional.

Still not sure how to enter? Go to Twitter.com. Are you there? Good. Now! Follow me, @SusanW, and send me a tweet reply with the food you wish you were serving. It’ll look something like these:

@SusanW Pigs feet! #iFood

@SusanW I would love to know how to whip up some avocado soup. #iFood

I’ll pick a winner randomly from the tweet replies, and send that lucky soul a direct message on Friday (that’s why you need to follow me — I can only DM you if you’re following, see). I’ll also update the top of this post to let everyone know who won. This is my first Twitter contest, so let’s see if it works.

Thanks to all of you for playing, and to Kraft for providing the prizes. And an extra big thanks to Maggie Mason, for doing this first and letting me steal all her rules and language.

You remember Bennett from Season 3 of “Project Runway,” but these days, she’s writing for a living rather than crafting runway-ready gowns. Bennett has been penning an occasional column for The Daily Beast, which covers everything from raising six kids in Manhattan to straightening her hair with formaldehyde, and she has a book coming out in April, titled “Didn’t I Feed You Yesterday? A Mother’s Guide to Sanity in Stilettos.”

And yes, I asked her about the stilettos. Because Rita ordered me to.

Celebrity interviews can be such a crapshoot; it’s impossible to know what you’re getting into, really, because it’s not like you know the celebrity personally. I interviewed Kate Gosselin in December of 2008, and of course asked her about all the flak she got for the way she treated Jon; her answers were terse and unhelpful, and it was a struggle to pull together 1,000 words by my deadline. What I didn’t know — what none of us knew — when I interviewed her was that her marriage was on the precipice and her husband had gone over the edge. But what that one interview taught me is that you have to be prepared for the worst and ready to make the best of it.

All that, though, gets me to this: Laura Bennett was lovely — warm and friendly and hilariously funny. It was a great interview, a best-case scenario; nothing was off limits and her answers were relevant and useful and interesting. At one point she was digging through her handbag looking for her lipstick to tell me what brand it was. You’ve got to love that kind of dedication.

The absolute best part, though, was when Bennett confessed to cutting her own hair. “Right now I have a pixie haircut,” she told me. “It’s another one of those things — some people are totally freaked out about their hair; I’ve always been really casual about my hair. Like, oh it’ll grow back, what the hell.”

I can totally relate to that.

You can read the entire interview at BlogHer, and you can preorder the book at Amazon.

Hey let’s do that again! Ready?

4:30 am: Wake up to sound of Henry coughing, coughing, coughing.

5:00 am: Get up. Because it’s not like anyone is going back to sleep with all that coughing. Schlep downstairs, make coffee, check email, edit posts, make to do list, realize there is no way I’m going to get everything done this week. Drink coffee and catch up on the Oscars (because I went to bed at 8:00 last night, no kidding.)

6:30 am: Wade comes down and moans about how he’s been awake since 4:30; roll eyes so far back that I can see my brain. Drag kids out of bed, listen to both of them complain about not wanting to go to school. Make breakfast, make lunches, clean up after both, make my own breakfast because I’m starving. Sit at the table with the kids and eat my oatmeal while they count days until spring break (FIVE! hooray!) and make plans for each day (apparently we’re going to Greece, or so Charlie thinks). Shuttle everyone upstairs; send kids to get dressed and put on workout clothes.

7:30 am: Tie everyone’s shoes, find coats, somehow neglect to see that Charlie is wearing only a short sleeved polo shirt even though it’s only going to be 50 degrees today. Drop kids at school, drive through at the bank. Nearly have a stroke when the teller says, “I was noticing on this account ….” Breathe sigh of relief when she says that she could get me a debit card for this account (instead of saying that I’m overdrawn, again, which is totally what I’m expecting). Come home and drop my bag and go walk.

8:50 am: It rained the entire time I was walking and my iPod decided that Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah” was good workout music. (Three times in 40 minutes, iPod? Really???) Towel off, check email, edit post, curse malfunctioning CMS. Share cursing with Kristen via IM. Admire Maggie Gyllenhall’s Oscar dress, again. Send more emails.

9:30 am: Shower. Consider staying in there all day; it’s warm and quiet. No makeup today because I’m going to the dermatologist. It’s a good look.

10:00 am: More work. I have no idea what I do all day. Send lots of emails, I guess.

11:00 am: Rita calls to see if the boys want to play this afternoon; we wind up talking about Latisse and that time Charlie had to wear an eye patch. No idea how that happened. Hang up on her to talk to Wade, who has called to report about the lawn service. Or something. Not really listening; trying to back out of the garage without hitting anything. Thank god for Bluetooth.

11:30 am: Grocery store! Not raining when I get there; totally pouring when I come out. And because the back of my SUV cannot be opened when it is parked in the garage, I wind up unloading $200 worth of groceries in the pouring rain. And then leaving half of them on the kitchen floor all afternoon. Whoops.

1:00 pm: Eat lunch, send more emails, blah blah blah. Suddenly realize that I need to leave for the dermatologist right now or I will be late.

2:00 pm: Dermatologist appointment. He changes my topical meds, prescribes an antibiotic, and offers a cortisone shot if I have an acne-related emergency (always a possibility, you know).  I love my dermatologist. Drive to school; pick kids up just before the pouring rain starts again. Drop off prescriptions on the way home while hearing about kids’ day. Henry announces, “There were a LOT of miracles at school today!” Most of which consisted of schoolwork getting taken off the schedule, apparently. Charlie comes up with a miracle of his own: outside recess. On a rainy day, that really is a miracle.

3:30 pm: Get kids snacks, encourage them to eat up! and start their homework! Charlie is done in 30 minutes, including the made-up homework from last week that I’m using to kill time while Henry slogs through his gigantic pile of actual homework.  Send Charlie to play at Rita’s and cheer Henry on. Empty dishwasher, make beds, check email; deal with work things. Continue to encourage Henry because we cannot still be doing homework at 5:30 omg! Talk to other third grade moms on Facebook because not one of us has any idea what the hell the kids are supposed to be doing on that one math assignment. Directions would have helped, of course, but there aren’t any! Thank god for Facebook.

5:00 pm: Homework almost done. Get a glass of wine, start chopping broccoli. Wonder where Wade is; vaguely remember him saying something about being late, maybe? Wish I had been listening. As usual.

6:00 pm: Wade home from work, Charlie home from Rita’s, dinner on the table. Henry eats one cheese tortellini and does not freak out or spit it on the floor; I may have offered to buy him a Porsche. Wade makes up a superhero called Tricycle Man; Henry announces, “That is lame, Dad.” Laugh. Get Charlie to say, “Tell us more, Father.” Make Henry laugh until he coughs uncontrollably. Family dinner FTW!

6:30 pm: Clean up kitchen, find shoes, go to pharmacy. Hold up entire line with my extra complicated acne medicine. Try to figure out how it is possible that I will pay more for the generic than I would for the name brand. Come home, tuck kids into bed, collapse on couch. Remember that I’m supposed to be giving away a prize today! Listen to Wade talk about how tired he is after waking up at 4:30 am. Roll eyes so far back that I can see my brain.

And then I went to bed. Or I will in a minute. Right after I give away this cool gift bag from GoodNites!

 * * * * *

Here’s the thing about parenting: No matter how old your kids are, it’s all about getting through the day. And if you’re really lucky, at some point in your day you find yourself laughing about Tricycle Man and your nine-year-old’s successful use of lame and your seven-year-old’s great straight-man delivery.

A lot of the day, though, is about avoiding the monsters — the homework, the pharmacy line, the pouring rain. It’s about getting through, about making it to the good moments. But it’s entirely worth it, every single day.

 * * * * *

So who won the last GoodNites gift bag? Cara, whose favorite book is “The Monster at the End of this Book!” I love that book, and so do my kids. Congratulations, Cara!

If you didn’t win, take heart! You can still write your own Iggy and his Wiggy bed story and enter it for a chance to win $2,500 at the Bedtime Theater site. The odds are totally in your favor, too, so enter today! Because who doesn’t want to win $2,500?

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® for this series of posts and giveaways; I am being compensated for my participation in the Bedtime Theater program and for hosting these giveaways, not for promoting a product. Just so we’re all clear.