September 15, 2006
Fashion Friday
I have a complicated relationship with jeans. I went to Catholic school through eighth grade (which explains my abhorrence of all things plaid and pleated) and to a private prep school after that, so for most of my adolescence, jeans were the Holy Grail of What To Wear, strictly because they were FORBIDDEN. And yes, for the record, the jeans I wanted more than life itself were the tapered ones with the zippers at the ankles that Guess made in the 80s.
Those jeans may very well be back in style soon. Resist them.
Anyway, after twelve years of just wanting to WEAR JEANS ALREADY, I went off to college and wore jeans every damn day for FOUR YEARS. Well, not EVERY day; I wore a lot of khakis, too, but mostly jeans. And I loved them. Jeans offer limitless possibilities–dress them up! dress them down!–and they essentially defy seasons. They really are a Wardrobing Essential.
And yet, for the most part, I have come to loathe jeans.
It all boils down to this: despite my inherent belief that jeans are the cornerstone of any mostly casual (read: Mom) wardrobe, my post-babies body is really not jeans-ready. I have a little permanent roll of dough right around my belly button, which is only to be expected after my uterus has grown to FOUR HUNDRED TIMES it’s normal size. TWICE. How could my stomach NOT be a little more . . . squooshy? And yes I do sit ups (okay, not consistently, but still!) and no it doesn’t help. And most of the time, I don’t really care because that little doughy part came from growing PEOPLE, which is wonderful. But when I try to buy jeans, that roll really gets in the way.
I own four pairs of jeans right now, all from Old Navy. One pair is their boot-cut, just-below-the-waist line, and I hate them; they are incredibly uncomfortable to sit in and do serious damage to my internal organs every time I wear them. And no, they’re not too small; the waist band just hits me in a horrible place. (So now I’m reading that over and wondering why I keep them in the first place. Hmm . . . )
Let’s start over–I own THREE pairs of jeans right now (look! I just put a perfectly good pair of jeans in the Give Away pile! hooray for me!), all from Old Navy. Two are a boot-cut with a LOW waist, which means that they hit about two inches below my belly button, under the Baby Roll. I have one pair that I wear with flats and one that I wear with heels. I like these; they are a dark rinse with a little stretch and no pre-faded areas. (Aside: I hate pre-worn jeans. HATE THEM. They look cheap and sloppy and you should RUN FROM THEM.)
My third pair are ULTRA LOW WAIST, although that doesn’t really mean anything; they also hit about two inches below my belly button. They are straight leg and are meant to be worn cuffed; they were too long, so I cut them off to get both the unfinished hem and the proper length. (”Unfinished hem”, by the way, is NOT the same as “big gaping hole in the knee, or worse, the ass or crotch.” The former is chic and cool, the latter is trashy. Just so you know.) These are my absolute favorite jeans, because they make me look skinny, but they are VERY casual, which limits their versatility. Plus I bought them on clearance, so you can’t get them anymore. You’re welcome!
Actually, I buy all my jeans on clearance (because I’m saving money to buy really great SHOES, you all!), which brings me to this: to get jeans that fit right and that you love and will feel terrific wearing, you MAY need to spend some real money. Get over the idea that they’re JUST JEANS and you should spend your money on really GOOD clothes; if you’re spending most of your day (or even most of your weekend) in jeans, you deserve to have them be well-made and properly fitted. I deserve that, too, by the way, and I’m working on it. Really.
Start with a pair of jeans that will flatter what’s nice about your lower half. I really think a slighly lower waist is better for those of us who have spent nine months as Human Incubators (or who have just eaten one too many bags of M&Ms, whatever). A lower waist minimizes your backside (as do FLAT pockets in back, not the ones with a little flap that buttons) and gives your roll somewhere to rest. Be sure to COVER THE ROLL with a long enough tee or sweater, though.
Think, too, about the over-all shape. Straight legs are in this year, as are skinny pants, and while both of these looks CAN work for a hard-working Mama, be wary of jeans (or pants of any sort) that highlight your hips and ass. I can’t understand why the Gap is STILL carrying Reverse Fit jeans (wide at the hips! narrow at the ankles! just like you! and now everyone can see it!) but don’t be sucked in by these. Even if you think of your jeans as the Wardrobe Workhorse, you shouldn’t settle for a pair that gives you Mom Ass. Look for balance. I like a nice boot cut on me because my legs aren’t all that long, but the wider straight leg jeans are also flattering, particularly with a little heel.
The best jeans basic is a pair that is hemmed to the level of the shoes you wear most often. If that means flats, start with some jeans that are meant to go with flats. Think about wearing your usual flats when you go jeans shopping, so you can accurately check the length. Even if a flat is your typical shoe of choice, I would also suggest getting a pair or jeans hemmed for heels as well, because it’s an easy dressed-up look. Do NOT try to wear your ballet flat jeans with your chunky wedges, or vice versa; invest in TWO pairs of jeans instead. After all, if you wear them VIRTUALLY EVERY DAY you will absolutely get your money’s worth.
To extend the life of your jeans, wash them inside out in cold water; this will keep them from fading. For darker washes, you can wash them alone with small amount of white vinegar, although this means ONE MORE load of laundry. And of course, if you are really committed to preserving your jeans, you can HAND WASH and LINE DRY. I don’t know if I can be your friend, though, if you’re willing to do THAT MUCH WORK for jeans.
Finally, please PLEASE remember: we don’t want to see your underwear. Low-waisted jeans need low-waisted undies. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
So what kind of jeans should you buy? I’m all about Old Navy, because they offer a nice range of sizes and styles for not a lot of money, but this season they’re really pushing the pre-distressed look, which I don’t approve at all. I spent a long, long time at the Gap this week, trying on pretty much EVERY DAMN JEAN they sell, which was interesting. Gap has good selection for a reasonable price (jeans will run you between $48.00 and $58.00) and they are marketing now to various shapes (their Curvy Fit, for example, is good for the post-baby hips). Lynn is currently recommending the Gap Long and Lean jeans at ThisNext, on a list titled Non-Mom Uniform (take a look at the whole list; it’s terrific). I liked the fit of these jeans, although they were more casual than what I was looking for this week. But I will most likely end up with a pair before too long.
What I’m wanting right now is a trouser jean, something a little on the dressy side. Fortunately, Sarah Cool e-mailed to suggest these DKNY jeans; she wrote, “the back actually goes high enough to cover my rear end, and since they are stretchy, they fit my (not tiny) hips and my (smaller than my hips at least) waist.” My lower half is shaped the same way, so these sound terrific. And at $48.00, they are entirely affordable.
Of course, it’s okay to spend more money to get great jeans! Arwen reminded me that Calvin Klein is still making cool jeans, after all these years; she also pointed out that these particular jeans fit her better NOW than they did back in the day. She bought hers at TJ Maxx, but you can find CK everywhere.
Feel like splurging? Sure! Liz loves her Lucky Brand Easy Riders because “I can bend over, sit on the floor and crawl after my boys! All without showing America my underwear choices.” Good girl, Liz. At $88.00, these aren’t bad, although they are ON LINE ONLY, which may be problematic for those of us who like need to try eleventy million pairs on first. Then again, maybe this online thing is better after all . . .
Moving on! Clara suggested these Joe’s Jeans, which I LOVE the look of. Very sleek and slim. They ARE $158.00, though, so this is a big step. But still! Didn’t I just say YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SPEND SOME MONEY TO GET REALLY GREAT JEANS?
Yes, I did.
Leigh sent me the funniest recommendation of all; she loves her Seven Flip Flop jeans because “they don’t show my crack.” That truly is a virtue in a pair of jeans. Sevens will run you about $180.00, but apparently once you start wearing Sevens there’s no going back, people love them THAT MUCH.
Finally, keep in mind that you can find great jeans in unexpected places. Karyn likes her NYC jeans, for $29.00, and Heidi has a pair of a. n. a. jeans from Penney’s that she swears by. There ARE great, affordable jeans out there; be prepared to try on more than one pair (by which I mean FOUR MILLION) and to hold out until you get EXACTLY what you want. Or you can do what I do and opt for corduroys and khakis.
Next Thursday, I’m going to a fundraising event, the kind with cocktails and an art auction and a nice dinner, so I will be spending most of this week obsessing about what to wear to THAT. My goal is to Shop My Closet and put together an evening outfit from THINGS I ALREADY OWN.
I’m really living on the edge, aren’t I?
Next Friday, I will show you what I wore and tell you how I decided on that particular combination. You’re on the edge of your chair, aren’t you? So am I.
Posted by Susan @ 3:18 pm • Uncategorized
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
September 15th, 2006 at 5:39 pm, Jenorama Says:
Can you talk about clothes to wear to weddings sometime, or incorporate it into next Friday’s post? I hate having to buy new dresses for weddings, so I have been wearing the same dress to weddings for about four years.
But I am going to a wedding NEXT Saturday– can I wear black? It’s a noon wedding. I can’t wear sandals anymore– a little heel? Do I have to wear hose? What color?????? Do I have to wear a dress?
Help me!
September 15th, 2006 at 5:52 pm, Susan Says:
Jen, off the top of my head, I would say the following:
1. I would steer clear of head-to-toe black for an afternoon wedding.
2. You do NOT need to wear a dress. A nice skirt and sweater or blouse, or some pretty pants with a lovely top is just fine. Add some really dressy jewelry, something you wouldn’t wear for everyday, to make it really special.
3. You don’t need hose, unless it’s godawful cold. But shave your legs. Please. (In general, not just Jen.)
Keep ‘em coming, people.
September 15th, 2006 at 6:53 pm, Plain Jane Mom Says:
I am so jealous! How do you find the energy to think about your clothing? I can barely keep my wits about me enough to safely drive the car!
September 15th, 2006 at 7:23 pm, Karyn Says:
HOLY CRAP.
Okay, I don’t know where to start but I must say that I’m highwaisted (ie: my waist starts where my boobs end) and low-cut jeans do not work AT ALL with my “little baby roll” as you put it. Of course, you actually ARE skinny, whereas my “little baby roll” looks like I’m wearing a freaking inner tube. You know. The big mondo ones. Low-Cut = Bad. So I have had to seek high waisted jeans - Liz Claiborne had a great pair back in the day, when I was a size Non-Elephant, but now I’m assed out. Literally. I need ducttape wrapped round my middle to contain the wudge securely; maybe THEN I can deal with jeans. God I miss real pants. And tucking in my shirts. And belts. I’m going to cry in my Haagen Daaz now.
(And I actually HAD those Guess Jeans with the tapered legs and zippered ankles! Swear! In two colors!)
September 15th, 2006 at 7:27 pm, Anne Glamore Says:
I’m all about the Gap Long and Lean jeans, which were about $58, but I also bought a pair of Diesel black jeans last year that were more than $150– I can’t remember exactly, but they were so much that I called my rational sister to ask her if I should buy them and she said yes, because jeans are forever.
I figure as much as I’ve worn them, they’re down to about .02 per wear, and falling!
September 15th, 2006 at 7:27 pm, Karyn Says:
And ps: Does anyone know about wrap dresses? Besides the Von Furstenburg kind… I bought one in royal purple crepe (it was 1991 kids, give me a break) and it was a) the single most flattering thing I ever wore figurewise and colorwise (red hair you see) and b) it was like $20 at Filene’s Basement.
I’d wear them day in and day out - long sleeves, short sleeves, print, solids - love love love them. Eventually the zipper stuck while I was IN the dress and I wound up tearing the crepe sideways. I cried for days.
Is there any chance these are coming back?
September 16th, 2006 at 4:36 am, maryp Says:
2500 words on jeans by someone who hates jeans? No wonder you have such loyal fans.
September 16th, 2006 at 6:18 am, Mir Says:
Oh! Oh! I have a bargain for you, Susan.
Check out http://www.llbean.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?page=triple-stitch-jeans&categoryId=48548&storeId=1&catalogId=1&langId=-1&parentCategory=8976&cat4=6709&shop_method=pp&feat=8976-tn. On sale! In a dark wash! Just a little flare at the bottom! Trouser pockets! CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP! (Okay, I’m a little too excited. But I have been pleasantly surprised with the modern cuts Bean has started doing with their jeans, while simultaneously their hippest versions keep going on clearance because all of the die-hard Beanites only want Mom Jeans.)
September 16th, 2006 at 6:19 am, Mir Says:
(Gah. Won’t let me do HTML and cut off my link. Stupid BlogSpot. Search LL Bean sale for the triple-stitch jeans.)
September 16th, 2006 at 6:28 am, Lauren Says:
How very helpful! I like jeans with a little stretch in them myself . . . otherwise I’m almost completely opinionless about them.
September 16th, 2006 at 6:49 am, Mamacita Tina Says:
Always searching for that perfect pair. I’m pear shaped, gotta have low rise to minimize the huge ass, and boot cut to minimize the hips. Of course dark to minimize everything. If I find all these things, do I disappear?
September 16th, 2006 at 6:57 am, Susan Says:
What pretty Mir didn’t tell us is that the LL Bean jeans are currently on sale for SEVENTEEN DOLLARS AND NINTY FIVE CENTS.
Now THOSE may be the perfect jeans.
September 16th, 2006 at 10:00 am, Chilihead2 Says:
I luh-huv my Long and Lean jeans from GAP. They fit perfectly on my wide hips and smaller waist (not too small, mind you, just smaller than my hips.)
September 16th, 2006 at 10:31 am, Jenorama Says:
This is for Karyn: They have a great crepe wrap dress at Chadwicks right now.
September 16th, 2006 at 3:12 pm, adria Says:
Thanks for all the great tips! I DREAD shopping for jeans.
I going to check out some of the links tonight!
September 16th, 2006 at 3:31 pm, lynsalyns Says:
Dude! Thanks for linking to me. You rock. Glad you liked the jeans.
I have a pair of Luckys in my pre-baby size, and I loved them. They made my ass look adorable.
I’m going to splurge and buy a new pair in my post-baby size because I agree with you. If you wear your jeans every day, you should LURVE them.
September 16th, 2006 at 4:09 pm, Liz Says:
I made it into Fashion Friday? I have arrived! I should note that in the booming metropolis of Columbus, OH you actually can buy the Lucky jeans at the Lucky store or at Buckle — an all things denim sort of store. I am definitely a try them on kind of gal — though I did refrain from crawling around in them (the true test) while in the store!
September 16th, 2006 at 5:58 pm, Meegs Says:
Hey, the “little baby roll” comment made me think of this site: http://shapeofamother.blogspot.com/
which is amazing (although there are occational boobs, just to warn) and talks about what real women who are not Angelina Jolie look like after pregnancy. I hope you enjoy.
As for jeans… I like Levi’s in general. And bootcut 505s in particular. I am also very eager to try these out: http://www.us.levi.com/lsco/levi/prod/l_prod.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374305317166&bmUID=1158450479886 as they are supposed to be great with my figure (small waist, huge badonkadonk bootie, and “shapely” thighs). They work for my unique shape… which as of last time I checked, didn’t even fit well into the “curvy” jeans at Gap without a foot wide gap at my waist. *sigh*
Jeans and I also have that love/hate thing.
September 16th, 2006 at 7:15 pm, ieatcrayonz Says:
What a great jean post. Unfortunately, I can only afford the $7 clearance jeans at Kohl’s. Okay, so that’s what I bought before. Why stop now?
I hate the new Gap commercial. Skinny pants are the spawn of Satan.
September 16th, 2006 at 8:35 pm, Karyn Says:
THANK YOU JENORAMA! On my way to check that baby out! And ieatcrayonz, yeah - despite my fondness for Audrey Hepburn and former ability to wear said skinny jeans (like, in tenth grade), I do not want her being the poster child for Jeans Marketed To Adult Women Who Might Have Repeatedly Given Birth To Giant Kids. Hmph.
September 17th, 2006 at 1:59 am, chris Says:
susan, you totally crack me up with this stuff! where in the world did you *gather* all of this arcane knowledge? i really am impressed (!), but since i can only shop at omar the tentmaker these days i’ll have to save your post for another life.
September 17th, 2006 at 10:23 am, Candace Says:
How timely.
I bought a pair of jeans Friday at The Gap because I tried them on and I loved them. I also tried on a slightly different pair and also loved them but simply couldn’t justify buying two pairs of jeans in one day. The decadence!
Then yesterday, I decided that I COULD very well buy two pairs of jeans if I damned well wanted to, so I went back and bought the other pair. Mr. Foot and I went out that night and I wore the newest jeans. Never before have I ever recieved so many complements. Never. They’re Gap, original fit, bootcut. They make me look positively svelt (and they are a dark wash) and they’re NOT low-rise, which I detest. I have an ass. It’s not huge, it’s just there, and it’s the shape an ass is supposed to be. I’m very lucky in that regard. But it’s actually hard to find jeans to fit a “good ass”. These do. And they do so quite well. They sit at my waist and they certainly don’t look like “mom jeans”.
I heart my new jeans.
September 17th, 2006 at 2:14 pm, Katja Says:
Thanks for the note about buying jeans that don’t show your crack. Anytime you try on a pair of jeans, sit on the floor in the dressing room and look at your backside in the mirror. I can’t tell you how many moms’ cracks I’ve seen during story time at the public library. As my mother would say, “Always look at yourself coming and going.”
September 17th, 2006 at 2:37 pm, Susan Says:
Kaja, that is BRILLIANT. I had never thought about the sit-on-the-floor test, but JUST THIS MORNING I was, indeed, sitting on the floor! at the library! in my jeans!
NOT showing any crack, so you know.
Good work, Katja.
Also–Jamie e-mailed me to say that she’s partial to Lane Bryant’s jeans; she wears a low-waist flair leg that she loves. Thank you!
September 17th, 2006 at 4:26 pm, Merry Mama Says:
Well, I’m the fashion flop you discussed when you said don’t wear undies that come up under your low waisters– It’s that, or I sport my plumber’s crack.
Some things never change… square toed dorks never evolve into smooth circular -uhm. Can’t think of a word here, so I just proved my point.
September 17th, 2006 at 8:42 pm, Laura Says:
I have discovered that my size 16 butt loves jeans from Lane Bryant. They are boot cut, and slightly below waistline, and have stretch, and FIT. Which is no small miracle. Nothing at Old Navy fits my size (large butt, small waist). I was thrilled to find these.
Also, the ladies at NY&C and I had a lengthy conversation about how we all hate the idea of the skinny leg jeans coming back. Hate.
September 18th, 2006 at 6:10 am, Amy W Says:
Damn, I wish those Lucky Riders were in some store so I could try them on. They look and sound the most comfortable. Thanks for all the great tips!
September 18th, 2006 at 8:43 am, scribbit Says:
My sister raves about these Magic Jeans that Nordstrom sells, “Seven for All Mankind” that fit anyone, anywhere. I mocked–because we all know there’s no such thing. She’s died for a pair but at almost $200 has never had the guts/cash to buy. Twice she’s bought a pair then taken them back after waking up sober the next day.
I thought she was crazy but I’ve talked to a few others in the know and they agree, that Seven for All Mankind jeans fit every body and always look good. I’ve never wanted to try on a pair and run the risk of contemplating spending $200 on jeans.
September 18th, 2006 at 11:32 am, sarcastic journalist Says:
I need you to be my personal stylist. Also, why didn’t you tell me YOU COULD HAVE BEEN MY PERSONAL STYLIST WHEN WE WERE WALKING AROUND OLD NAVY TOGETHER?
September 18th, 2006 at 9:40 pm, Kelly Says:
Love the jeans tips!! This is just the kind of help I need.
I just got a pair of these in my post-babies size and love them: http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=13650&pid=408805
September 19th, 2006 at 2:14 pm, chris Says:
Who are you giant people wearing long and lean jeans? All the jeans I come across are six inches too long for me and require me to wear heels with them. Which sometimes I don’t want to do…
April 5th, 2007 at 11:14 am, Melissa Says:
Jenorama! Thanks for the Chadwicks reminder. I found a dress I think will look cute for my figure. Hooray!
Susan, come buy my clothes for me.
April 5th, 2007 at 11:49 am, Rachel Says:
Karyn: Try Spanx or something along those lines to smooth over the not so tiny baby roll, I have one too and body shapers are way more flattering (and comfy) than jeans that you can tuck your bra into.
Now if they would just maternity pants that stay up with out a bra tucked into them I’d be thrilled.
April 5th, 2007 at 1:19 pm, Anonymous Says:
I love to try on those Seven and Lucky jeans because I can wear an incredibly small size (because I have no butt and carry all my fat around my middle). It’s fun to amaze my “Hot Mom” friends. However, they really irritate my c-section scar and my appendectomy scar is actually above the top of the jeans. I always put them back because I don’t want to be an abdominal surgery model.