August 22, 2007
even I am bored by this
Last night, when I was awake for the tenth time, I thought I should do a twenty four hours in the life post! I could start with all the people who woke me up last night for no good reason.
9:50 pm Turn light out, go immediately to sleep. Good night!
11:00 pm Wade turns bathroom light on, specifically to torment me. At least, I’m pretty sure that was why. Maybe there was something else like needing to brush his teeth. Whatever.
1:30 am Wake up because . . . I don’t really know. I have to pee? I’m uncomfortable? George Bush is still President? No idea.
3:00 am Charlie appears next to the bed and announces, “Mama, I had a bad dream.” Climb into his bed and try not to fall out while he goes back to sleep.
5:30 Alarm goes off. Good morning! Shower, dress, make coffee, start laundry, make lunches, start counting down to bedtime.
It only got better from there.
9:00 am Hair appointment. Stylist is twenty minutes late because her husband is prepping for a colonoscopy. To make up for the lateness (or maybe for oversharing about her husband’s colon), she does a super extra conditioning treatment on my hair after coloring it. Honestly, I would rather have my twenty minutes back. Color is great, cut is fine, the whole deal takes two hours. How on earth can it take TWO HOURS to cut and color my hair? Note to self: next time, bring a book. A long book.
11:00 am SuperTarget. Again. Because yesterday I completely forgot to get cereal and toilet paper. Which we are completely out of. Imagine what fun we had at my house this morning!
11:30 am Home. Unload groceries, make tea, eat muffin and watch last half hour of What Not To Wear rerun. Clearly from Clinton Kelly’s first season, when TLC was trying to pretend he wasn’t gay.
12:00 Holy crap I need to get some work done! Move laundry, clean kitchen, read e-mail, read New York Times, write crabby post about why the trapeze jacket is a FINE trend for fall. Think about buying some leggings, just to spite the Internet. Blame Charlie and his little tiny twin bed for my crabbiness. Or maybe it’s Wade’s fault. Or possibly George Bush’s.
1:30 Stand in closet and wonder if I should organize things by color or type? Do I hang all the patterns together or break them up with solids? And why has it taken me FIVE DAYS to clean out this closet? Google “how to organize closet.” Curse Internet for being so damn unhelpful. Hang things by color (Roy G. Biv!) interspersing patterns with solids, because I’m anal like that. Wonder what else I can get rid of. Resist the urge to get rid of everything.
3:00 Pick up boys. Take them to Starbucks and let each of them have a slice of pound cake. Help barista with NYTimes crossword puzzle (Das Boot takes place on a U boat). Chris calls to tell me that she’s cleaning out HER closet. Mock her for still owning tapered jeans. Tell her to GET RID OF THEM FOR GOD’S SAKE. Take boys to Target. Yell. A lot. Buy new tennis shoes for Charlie, SpiderMan slippers for both kids, toilet paper. Realize that I was just here! Mere hours ago! Run into neighbor on the way out; fail to recognize her until I am in the car because the kids have sapped every single ounce of energy I have.
5:00 My mother calls; Charlie answers the phone. When she asks what he’s doing he says, “Talking to YOU, Nana.” Duh. Visit. Henry smacks Charlie, Charlie starts to cry, Henry starts to cry, I hang up on my mother. Much wailing and crying and banishing of children to their rooms. Make dinner. Feed kids. Drink wine. Curse husband for having dinner meeting at a really nice restaurant while I’m here with crying kids and Spaghetti Os. Drink more wine.
7:00 Read to kids, kiss everyone, duct tape them to their beds and promise to come check on them in FIVE MINUTES. Move laundry, get more wine and chocolate cookies, turn on TV. Wonder if Wade is ever coming home. Think about working. Curse television for being so damn boring. Curse self for being too lazy to put in a movie. Fold laundry, start MORE laundry. Drink more wine. Write this post.
It’s 8:40 now; the boys are asleep, television has failed me, and I have no idea where my husband is. I’m almost out of wine and I’m not sure how many more cookies I can eat before I slip into a diabetic coma. I need to fold more laundry and throw some things in the dryer. I’m thinking that it might be fun to let the Internet pick out my clothes for a month. I’m wondering how long until Friday.
Fortunately, 5:30 will be here before I know it.
Posted by Susan @ 7:48 pm • just happy to be here
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August 22nd, 2007 at 8:25 pm, Bridgets Flame - Caitlin Says:
Sounds exhausting but I’m jealous of the wine, I’ve just been posting about my current need for wine…at 11am.
Should I be worried about that?
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm, marti Says:
I appreciate that you’ve mentioned twice in this post that GWB is under your skin. I think about this hundreds of times a day. Like when I read that he came to Minnesota for a 15 minute briefing on the bridge collapse AND the devestating floods, then took off for a fundraiser for Sen. Norm Coleman. 15 minutes. Why did he bother?
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:38 pm, chris Says:
I must clarify I own them, but I don’t WEAR them.
Also if I knew you were going to be talking about me in your post I would have been much more witty and something insightful to say about something…
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:21 pm, gorillabuns Says:
lamenting my evening of sleeping on the couch because celia peed in our bed.
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:01 am, Not The Mama Says:
This sounds eerily familiar. I think we’ve been living parallel lives lately. Right down to blaming George Bush for general crabbiness and uncomfortable feelings.
August 23rd, 2007 at 1:00 pm, Shan Says:
Every time you mention your closet I am reminded that fall is almost here, I’m trying to dress better (oh, you couldn’t tell? well, I’m thinking of trying to dress better, but it’s summer and I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and I am surrounded by nursing babies, running noses, sidewalk chalk, muddy playgrounds, applesauce, baby yogurt, markers, crayons, grass stains, and….you get the picture), and all I have in MY closet these days is a pair or two of jeans, a pair of khakis, running clothes, summer skirts and tank tops, and a LOT of cheapo, safe-to-destroy t-shirts from Target. Susan, I’m dropping my kid off at preschool for the first time in 2 weeks. I need to look, um…..presentable. For very, very little cash. I am stressed out.
August 23rd, 2007 at 2:41 pm, 3carnations Says:
Have you read “I Don’t Know How She Does It?” That’s what you reminded me of there…
August 27th, 2007 at 3:11 am, Nic Says:
Hahaha!
Oh god, but I am SO glad I’m not the only one. One thing I always try to remember is that you never know what’s going on at home for all those people I keep looking at and comparing myself too. Your post always reminds me of this - cause you look pretty damn good and all together and yet you post stuff like this!
I’m not sure I own tapered jeans, but I’d be glad to fit in them regardless of fashion trends!!