August 1, 2005
closet Zen (or should it be Zen closet?)
Yesterday morning, Henry and I were having some quiet time on the sofa before we started our day. I was feeling relaxed and happy; I’d had a full eight hours sleep (a rarity), Henry had stayed in bed until nearly 8:00 (also a rarity, which explains my typically poor sleep), and Wade and Charlie were still sleeping (fewer boy types to deal with all at once). Henry and I were looking at a book and chatting about this and that when he announced, ‘You know, we haven’t gotten any new toys recently.’
I said, ‘Whaaaaaaa?’ Henry’s birthday was in June; Charlie just had a birthday. Additionally, we went on vacation, which involved new toys for the car trip AND new toys at Nana and Papa’s house. And somewhere in there, my mother-in-law had taken them to the Dollar Store and bought them I don’t know what all kind of, er, treasures. We are awash in new toys. I cannot walk through my house without tripping over a plastic dinosaur or stepping on a teeny tiny Playmobil pirate (or better yet, the pirate’s even teenier sword!). The other day I stood up from the desk and stepped on a talking SpiderMan toy. Scared the beejesus out of me. There are currently two pairs of roller skates that everyone wanted and no one likes to use conking around in the trunk of my car. We have a new Wiggles DVD that WE HAVEN’T EVEN WATCHED YET. And yet here was my five-year-old telling me, ‘We need new toys.’
But since we were having such a nice morning, I decided to stop my head from exploding (a truly marvellous feat) and embrace this Teachable Moment (a phrase I like almost as little as I like BLOG). ‘You know,’ I told Henry, ‘when Mommy gets something new, I try to give TWO things away.’
‘What do you mean?’ he asked.
‘Well, if I buy a new pair of pants, I give two pairs of pants away. Or if I buy a new shirt . . . ‘
‘I get it!’ he said happily, ‘you give TWO shirts away.’
‘That’s right. So maybe this week we could go through your toys and see if there are any you want to give away.’
‘That’s a great idea . . . can I have some milk? And some french toast for breakfast?’
I was very proud of myself (I AM a good mommy! Hooray!) particularly since I really DO believe this, and I really do try to be thoughtful about the volume of things in my life. Recently, though, I’ve been a little less mindful and a little more acquisitive. I came back from my vacation with a whole pile of ‘new’ jewelery, things I ‘found’ in my mother’s drawers, things she never wears. I didn’t actually BUY anything, but, as Wade was pointing out, I did come back with two new wristwatches (both vintage, if anyone is interested in such things–but that is REALLY not the point, is it?). Add those to the two I acquired earlier in the summer from my paternal grandmother’s belongings and, well, I have a lot of ‘new’ stuff. And stuff is stuff, isn’t it? And while I had replaced the bands on two of the watches and have been wearing all four on a regular basis, I hadn’t let anything go in their place, so my karma was, well, not good. And thanks to my smugness about my ‘good mommy’ moment, I didn’t get away with it.
In the afternoon, the nice people from the Epilepsy Foundation called to remind us that they would be coming in the morning to pick up our donation. ‘Do you have anything?’ Wade asked. ‘Yep!’ I said proudly. But when I looked in the Stuff To Donate box, there wasn’t much. And I started thinking about what I had told Henry. And I felt guilty. Stupid good mommy. Stupid bad karma.
So I got in my closet and started sorting. And I gave away three pairs of shoes and two bags and a bunch of blouses I haven’t worn in years and a skirt that never fit right and some tee shirts I never wear and . . .
And then I packed away some things that I will wear when they fit again (in the big plastic box under Charlie’s bed, the one marked WRONG SIZE–the one under Henry’s bed says WRONG SEASON). And I dug out a pair of jeans that used to not fit but does now and fixed the little hole in them. And I organized the shelves of tee shirts and lined up my shoes and refolded my sweats. And I felt better.
I felt so much better, in fact, that I went to the J.Crew website and browsed a little . . . but I don’t think I’m going to buy anything. I may just have to take one more look, though, to be certain. After all, there might be something that goes with my salvaged watches. Since they aren’t NEW, after all.
(PS: My kids WILL be cleaning out their toys this week, and they will NOT be getting anything new.)
Posted by Susan @ 10:20 am • Uncategorized
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August 1st, 2005 at 12:04 pm, Candace Says:
That’s what we do. Usually.
Sometimes I’m a bit lazy on the follow-through, but I try.
And Freecycle and Craig’s List really are awesome places to get rid of things that other people could get good use out of.
August 1st, 2005 at 12:32 pm, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
Yay! I love purging (not the bulemic kind—yucky). It’s addictive. If I hadn’t been up all night last night for NO GOOD reason, I’d be inspired enough to purge right now. Maybe tomorrow.
Yay! I love procrastination (not the debilitating kind)….
August 1st, 2005 at 12:39 pm, Susan Says:
Imagine the fun fun playdate we could have if we all loaded up all the junk we wanted to get rid of and then drank martinis and swapped . . .
Must. Stop. Procrastinating. Bills. To. Pay.
August 1st, 2005 at 1:14 pm, Lynn S Says:
Sounds like a good idea but I get so sentimental about THINGS. I have this old pair of shoes that are the most comfortable shoes in the entire history of the world but they’re about 15 years old and falling apart and I bought another pair exactly like them (except for the color) a couple of years ago so I was going to finally let them go but I started thinking of all places they had been and… well… I’ve still got them.
August 1st, 2005 at 1:35 pm, Susan Says:
I, too, am sentimental about things–witness the haul of jewelery pilfered from my mother. But clothes to me aren’t the same–oh, sure I still have my wedding gown, hanging in a closet, despite the fact that I have sons and no one will ever wear it again. FOr me, it’s books. I can’t ever get rid of a book. THAT would be a tragedy.
But now that I think of it, I could probably give that wedding gown away.
August 1st, 2005 at 1:35 pm, Candace Says:
So we could call it a “Three Martini and Swap Meet” playdate.
I’m in!
August 1st, 2005 at 1:37 pm, Susan Says:
I’m going to start posting pictures of Stuff I Don’t Want Any More–you all let me know if you see anything you like. I have a wedding dress to give away!
Could we swap kids? ‘Cause I’ve had it with mine.
August 1st, 2005 at 3:34 pm, adria Says:
I always feel better when I donate a bag of crap we do not need.
I have a bag sitting ready to go now.
August 1st, 2005 at 3:37 pm, adria Says:
I always feel better when I donate a bag of crap we do not need.
I have a bag sitting ready to go now.
August 1st, 2005 at 8:42 pm, Lynn S Says:
I have donated a lot of clothes but I still have more that I could donate. I have a hard time giving up books too. I had to give up some and I often think of a book I gave away that I wish I still had.
August 2nd, 2005 at 7:20 am, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
I’ve got some stuff ready to go….
August 3rd, 2005 at 11:38 am, The June Cleaver Diaries Says:
me too! ugh. why is it that whenever i’m online w/ a baby on my lap(hence he lack of capitals),
i always get puked on?
August 3rd, 2005 at 12:13 pm, Susan Says:
SNMartha, does my site make your babies sick?
If so, then my work here is done. Hey, be sure to show the boys the picture of the knight!