August 24, 2005
because I just can’t let well enough alone
So the boy survived his first day at school; the afternoon teacher patiently informed me that ‘we’re working on listening.’ It took everything in me not to say, ‘Well, DUH.’ At least I don’t THINK that’s what I said. Jesus, I hope not.
Henry said he had a great day and he met new friends but he did not eat his lunch. And he couldn’t remember what he did. Hey, just like last year! But less expensive! And with lunch!
Seriously, everything went well. He was tired, but that’s fine; it just means he will go to sleep early and easily tonight. I had a little stress moment when I asked him what he did today and he said, ‘I’ll tell you at home. ‘ Which was what he did all last year, because HE CAN’T REMEMBER, see, because he has ADHD or because he is hungry or because George Bush is President. We don’t know, but it’s something we’re supposed to keep tabs on, this not remembering. But then we sat down to have a snack and I got more information about what he did at school today than I got ALL YEAR last year. He colored a picture! Of a crayon! In his favorite color! Which is green! And he cut out leaves! With scissors! And he had goldfish and strawberries for snack! But he only ate the fish crackers! Ta da! And that was Henry’s day. God I love that kid.
So I’m sure you are waiting for the thrilling description of How I Celebrated the First Day of School, as I have been moaning about it SINCE JUNE. Did I shop? Read the New York Times? Drink Long Island Iced Teas by the pool? No, even better! I started trying to get Charlie to use the potty! For real! Because apparently I am an idiot. No sooner do I get one kid out of the house and out of my hair than I start pestering the other one about peeing in the potty.
But really, people, it’s time. The boy can tell you all about how pirates are ’sea robbers’ and that a pyramid is a tomb and that your bones make up your skeleton (stupid Magic Treehouse books and their stupid interesting information about stuff) but he hides when he has a poopy diaper. Or tries to blame it on someone else. But since he’s the only one, except Jake, who lives at Leslie’s house, who is NOT potty trained, that doesn’t really work. And because I am insane, I figured we should just go for broke with the potty.
So whatever advice you have is welcome! Really, anything! I’ve got nothing when it comes to strategies, beyond asking him to sit on the potty ALL THE TIME, which he hates, and telling him that until he can use the potty he cannot go anyplace without a changing table. So no more hanging out at Starbucks. See, I HAVE lost my mind!
But at least the summer is over and I’m not in rehab. Yet.
Posted by Susan @ 5:55 pm • Uncategorized
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August 24th, 2005 at 6:22 pm, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
Oh Please–potty training stinks (literally and figuratively!) I have been trying to convince Ella to do it since her two best girlfriends are potty trained (One of them “decided” two weeks ago that she was done with diapers. So she is. Hmph. I am trying very hard not to be bitter…
Thus far, M&Ms, tatoos and a promised call from Dora AND Elmo have failed to make anything happen.
May the force be with you.
August 24th, 2005 at 6:33 pm, Susan Says:
Hausfrau, talk more about these ‘tattoos’. Do they come in SpiderMan designs? Where would I get them? And I assume they are the CrackerJack box type and not something that requires a sterilized needle (although that wouldn’t be a deal breaker at this point).
I will be bitter for you about Ella’s friend DECIDING to be done with diapers. Veeeerrrrryyyy bitter.
August 24th, 2005 at 6:57 pm, Candace Says:
Bribery.
This is what I was reduced to doing with Christopher, The Boy Who Refused To Be Potty-Trained, Even With ‘Number One’: I took him to Target or Toys r Us, can’t remember which, and I had him pick out the BEST toy he could find, the one he HAD to have or life would not be worth living. I bought it.
Then I would not let him have it when we got home. I told him he could have it after he peed and pooped on the potty for three days IN A ROW. We made a chart and we made a paper-ring-chain.
He begged and cried and tantrumed for one whole day. I did not give in. I kept repeating “the deal”.
After the one day, he peed and pooped on the potty all day. He asked for the toy again. I said no, three days in a row. We marked off the calendar, we ripped off one of the paper rings.
Two days later, he had his toy. And he was pretty well trained. He still had some accidents, but I was happy.
I’m so mean.
August 24th, 2005 at 7:09 pm, Susan Says:
Misfit, that’s not mean, that’s genius. Would you like to come spend, oh, five days in Oklahoma?
I have cake!
August 24th, 2005 at 7:09 pm, Heather Says:
You know I have much advice about the potty training deal - and by far, Misfit has the best idea. Owen was a potty training nightmare. It was a nightmare because he was almost 4.years.old. UH. What was good is that he learned fast. its all about timing. From that synapse that fashes to the urethra until the legs get it together to dash for the potty - thats all they need to learn. (which seems unsurmountable when you’re still changing crappy diapers) Harry was a dream to teach. We had our favorite potty books. We read them over and over again. Potty books. I think getting him to sit on the potty non stop will only get him to resent the process. My op. If its working then go for it.
Otherwise…Inform Henry’s teacher that his hearing is fine. And suggest to her that *she* has to learn how to convince him to do it her way. Henry and Owen sound like kindred spirits!
August 24th, 2005 at 7:18 pm, katie's brain Says:
Mifit, that is genius! Pure genius! Well, my son used to hide whenever he was just ABOUT to go, so I started to pick up on the times this disappearing act usually occurred. After a while the timing became totally predictable and I would physically take him to the potty and sit with him. He hated it. I’d read stories which made it a bit better (for him, not for me) but wow–I should have gone with the big bribe. The little ones didn’t work for me.
Enjoying your blog!
August 24th, 2005 at 9:36 pm, McSwain Says:
When my son was almost 3, I got divorced and moved in with my parents for a few months. We’d been failing miserably at potty training. Mom had him trained in a few weeks. So if all else fails, maybe you could take a vacation and leave him with grandparents and no diapers?
August 24th, 2005 at 10:00 pm, Susan Says:
Cheryl! How funny you would suggest the grandparents (who have been pestering me to get the boy trained). We left the kids with them for a few days this summer; on day one, Charlie was all about the potty. Day two, despite an icky diaper rash, no go. Refused. Just like he had been for me.
I felt vindicated.
But maybe YOUR mom would like to have him for a few weeks? I could have him packed in, oh, an hour . . .
August 24th, 2005 at 10:19 pm, adria Says:
1: We bribed Daria with stickers. She had her own sticker book for the bathroom and a basket of stickers. She could only put a sticker in the book when she went potty in the potty.
Spiderman stickers do exist because I bought some for Daria. She now has a new sticker book that does not belong in the bathroom and it is much bigger.
2: Daria loves books, so we would put her on the pot with a book and set a timer. In the beginning, she was known to sit on the potty reading for 20+ minutes.
She always wants us to set a timer when she goes #2, and she still reads a book on the pot.
Daria was a challenge to potty train, but I am happy to say we have survived it. It took months. It was not overnight like some of the wonder children I know.
I wish you the best of luck.
August 25th, 2005 at 2:11 am, Angie Says:
The fact that he blames poopy diapers on someone else is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
We’re beginning Operation Potty sometime in the next month. (I keep putting it off.) I used to tell myself that I would reason with MC and everything would go down beautifully with no bribery.
Then I read what Misfit said. And I think it’s brilliant.
August 25th, 2005 at 5:44 am, Misfit Hausfrau Says:
I love Misfit’s idea! Unfortunately, my daughter has so much trouble making decisions (ie, I can’t have her decide which color “pretty dress” to wear as she will ponder for literally 30 minutes) I would never know what toy she would have to have. I think I would have to just buy one and pray that she really wants it.
The tatoos are really glitery and tacky (but of course) and I got them in the $1 bins at Target this summer.
August 25th, 2005 at 8:16 am, Susan Says:
Potty-training my boys is lost in the mists of memory for the most part. I do remember training my youngest because we had a new puppy at the time and I had them both on a two-hour schedule. Every two hours J. and I made a brief trip to the potty and the dog went out in the yard. I had a little mantra that I repeated calmly and lovingly every time I took J to the potty, something along the lines of, “you’re a big boy now, big boys use the potty”. Constant repetition eventually worked. I was afraid that at some point I would get confused and put the dog on the potty and throw the child out in the yard
but it never happened.
August 25th, 2005 at 8:19 am, Susan Says:
Oh, and J. just started college. It’s true, they really are potty-trained by the time they’re ready for college. They have potty mouths by that time, but their bottoms are usually adequately trained.
I have some tips for training bed-wetters, too, if you ever need them (I hope to God not!)
August 25th, 2005 at 11:00 am, Mary P. Says:
Heeheehee… you crack me up. First day of school, and you put yourself in potty purgatory.
I think misfit’s advice is terrific. A brilliant idea. Brilliant. Do what she says. I’m so impressed.
I could write a long post about this from my wealth of experience, but I think you should try her idea.
There. She has the Mary Poppins stamp of approval.
August 25th, 2005 at 11:47 am, M&Co. Says:
LOVE the new picture of the boys on the sidebar! I especially love that there are books and toys on the floor. Yeah. Someone elses house looks like mine.
August 25th, 2005 at 12:46 pm, ieatcrayonz Says:
Mmmm, green crayons are my favorite, too. YUM!
Make sure to feed Charlie a little bit of every color in the box. It will hold his interest longer as he checks out his poop in the potty.
August 25th, 2005 at 2:00 pm, Candace Says:
Cake!
I feel the need to add that The Boy was 3 1/2 when this was all going down. And he had to be trained before he could go to preschool, and his baby sister had been born almost three months earlier.
I *REALLY* needed him to go to preschool.