January 1, 2007
accounting for my misspent youth (or maybe just the last few days)
Hello! Happy New Year! Welcome to 2007! Hope it’s been a good one so far.
I have been . . . uh, let’s see, I don’t know what I’ve been doing, honestly. I ate my weight in clam dip and potato chips (mmmm, so yummy), briefly contemplated giving up drinking (pffft), forced the kids to watch the Tournament of Roses parade (worth it SOLELY for the guy who FLEW out of the Oklahoma float–I so hope you saw that, the guy with the jet pack with THIRTY SECONDS worth of fuel and he flew around for TWENTY NINE SECONDS, seriously, HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!).
But that’s just in the last twenty-four hours. Before that? Well . . .
First, there was the pediatrician . . .
Wednesday morning, after Charlie cried the ENTIRE way through breakfast, sobbing, “I want MORE pancakes! MORE PANCAKES! MORE!” even though he had a FULL plate of pancakes in front of him, and not the microwaveable kind, the kind that require you (or ME) to add an egg and some buttermilk (eeew) and mix and actually COOK–after thirty minutes of sobbing and insisting “I WANT MOMMY! AND MORE PANCAKES!” Wade said, “He has an ear infection. You know he does.”
I was skeptical, but in four and half years, there has been only ONE time that I’ve taken Charlie in and he has NOT had an ear infection, so we called the doctor’s office (which took FORTY FIVE MINUTES, hello, was every kid in Oklahoma City sick this week?) and I got a shower and Charlie and I headed out. By the time we left the house, he was over the pancakes and was quite charming and cute; my mom asked him why he was crying, and he either said, “Because I wanted more” or “Because I’m four,” both of which seem to be pretty much the same thing. So at the doctor he unpacked his box of markers and his little notebook and drew pictures and was TOTALLY cute.
And did NOT have an ear infection. Which was good! Yes. If you don’t think too much about how I spent the ENTIRE morning either holding a crying preschooler or holding on the phone or sitting in the doctor’s office!
Fortunately, because he had a cold that was ten days old, and because he has a history of developing an ear infection AFTER the cold is long gone (and possibly because the doctor could sense that he MUST go back to school next week or I will have some sort of nervous breakdown), she put him on an antibiotic. I am not, generally, in favor of preventative antibiotics, but when the thing we are preventing is my total nervous collapse, bring it on. Now I just have to fight with the boy twice a day to TAKE THE DAMN MEDICINE. On the up side, his stuffy nose is completely cleared up, and I’m CERTAIN he will not get an ear infection.
I hope.
Next, there was my car . . .
Wade worked Thursday and Friday of last week; he and I traded cars because we thought it would be easier to get three adults and two kids in booster seats in his car. As it turns out, not only is a Lexus sedan not really designed for kids in booster seats (the seatbelts are a bitch to get fastened) but three people were never meant to sit in the back seat. My mother nearly ended up in traction trying to wedge herself in between the boys, while Henry screamed about his seatbelt and Charlie said, “Nana, stop POKING me.”
My dad and I were very helpfully laughing.
So while I was driving around wondering why the hell we ever got rid of our SUVs, Wade was driving my Accord. And, as he said to me on the phone, “This story has a good ending.” On his way to work on Thursday, driving 65 on the Big Road, Wade noticed a wooden pallet on the shoulder. Then another. And then he saw the one DIRECTLY in his lane. He couldn’t change lanes because of the traffic; the car in front of him had pulled out onto the shoulder, blocking him from the left. “I lined up and held on and went right over it,” he told me. “And I could hear it under the car. So I got off the big road and looked, and I don’t see anything, but I think we should take it in to the garage, just in case.”
Absolutely.
That night at dinner, while my car was still in the shop and we were trying not to think too hard about what exactly hitting a GIANT WOODEN PALLET at warp speed might have done to our relatively new car, Henry asked what it looked like when grown ups cry. “Wait until we hear about the car,” I told him, “you might get to see Mommy cry.”
Car is fine. Garage didn’t charge us. Still pissed about trucks that don’t secure their cargo, but we’re trying to let it go. Second bullet dodged.
And THEN there was the heater . . .
Saturday morning, the kids got up at the ass crack of dawn (of course). I got up with them and made coffee and pancakes (AGAIN with the mix, because it’s a holiday dammit) and said STOP YELLING about four hundred times. My parents got up and we had breakfast, and then Wade got up. And said, “I don’t think the heat is working.”
And I said, “Shut the hell up.” No not really, but COME ON! It was eight am and I already felt like I had run a marathon, what with the yelling and the pancakes and the yelling. Did I mention the yelling? Yes.
Wade and my dad played with the heater (I heard Wade say, “I’m pretty much only good for holding the flashlight,” which is true, but my dad is an engineer and knows about things like heaters) and yes indeedy, NO HEAT. They read the directions (Dad’s idea) and still couldn’t get it going. By now, it’s like 9:30 and Wade is getting all stressed out about it, calling the heating and AC people we use and then calling their pager number and THEN calling his parents to ask who THEY use, and I finally said, “Dude, it’s supposed to be nearly 60 degrees today. Relax.”
And he said, “Yes, but there’s a COLD FRONT coming through tonight. Tomorrow the high will be in the low 30s.”
“Seriously? Then you need to FIND A REPAIRMAN! PRONTO! GET ON IT!”
He loves me at moments like that.
In the end, the repair guys we love called back and came out and fixed the whole thing in a few minutes and didn’t charge us the equivalent of the GNP. Apparently we needed a new starter. Plus we learned that our heater has a FILTER that we’re supposed to CHANGE! Who knew! We’re such great homeowners.
Finally, there was the airport . . .
Remember on Christmas day when I accidentally went to the airport an hour early to pick my parents up? And we all laughed about it? Because you know, how many trips to the airport does it take to pick up TWO people?
Five and a half. What, you though it was a joke?
1. Drive to airport Christmas day, realize I am an hour early, drive home.
2. Drive back to airport Christmas day, meet parents. Much hugging and joy.
3. Wade and Dad return to airport Christmas night for lost luggage. Great relief.
4. Drive to airport New Year’s Eve to drop parents. Much hugging and thanks.
4.5 Halfway home, cell phone rings; my parents’ flight has been cancelled. Return to airport, retrieve parents. Much good-natured grumbling and joking about how the liquor store is closed.
5. New Year’s day, drag ass out of bed early, take parents to airport; tell them that THIS time they will have to go to a hotel. Much hugging. Return home to discover that my dad has left his laptop behind.
And now the holidays are offcially OVER. The end.
Posted by Susan @ 4:50 pm • Uncategorized
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January 1st, 2007 at 6:13 pm, daysgoby Says:
Are you bathing in champagne?
‘Cause Wade should totally be financing that.
I seriously hope the rest of the new year goes better. Or you need to start mainlining frozen dacquiris.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:18 pm, MamaChristy Says:
My gift closet bludgeoned me today. Does that make you feel better?
January 1st, 2007 at 7:24 pm, MamaChristy Says:
(Only because misery loves company, I mean!)
January 1st, 2007 at 7:35 pm, Jonathon Says:
I thought things like that are only supposed to come in threes.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:45 pm, Susan Says:
Christy, that was funny.
And Jonathon, yes! I think I’m good for the ENTIRE year now! And I should have said that our nearly-four-year-old niece broke her wrist this week, so CLEARLY we are off the hook for the ER.
Welcome to 2007.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:07 pm, MJ Says:
Hey, at least as Day #1 of 2007 comes to a close you still have sense of humour.
I managed not to yell at my children today. Only 364 more days to to go.
January 1st, 2007 at 9:12 pm, SJ Says:
There was a lot of yelling in my house today, and really, it wasn’t the way I had planned on starting good old 2007. I’ll try again better tomorrow!
Amen! to the holidays being over. And Happy New Year to you and your family!
January 1st, 2007 at 11:35 pm, scribbit Says:
What a list. You’re due for something really great coming your way after a holiday like that. Hope the new year treats you better.
January 2nd, 2007 at 1:33 pm, dani Says:
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY New Year! Best thing learned over the new year weekend: Lemon Drops made with fresh lemons and confectioner’s sugar are much tastier than with concentrate. Owie.
January 2nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm, Karyn Says:
A-Friggin’-Men.
Onward, I say.
January 2nd, 2007 at 5:54 pm, becky Says:
Ok, so this post made me extremely tired. I think I’ll go take a nap now!
What a way to end/start a year!