“This time of the year there should be a hotline you can call with questions about cooking turkeys, a special 800 number where the phones are staffed by experts.”

“There is.”

My favorite bit starts at 2:41, if you’re not in the mood for the entire video. Best line: “I’m not saying that’s necessarily a deal breaker.” I say that every single year.

Full recap from Butterball University is coming; in the meantime, you can skip over to Butterball and read about why I  love Thanksgiving.