When I was in Chicago in November, I spent a day camped out in Danielle’s office, working.  She was such a gracious hostess, especially considering what a pain in the ass I was — first I took over her desk so I could plug my laptop in, and then I had her Googling wines to serve with turkey because I didn’t want to admit to the Internet that I just serve the same damn pinot with EVERYTHING.  And then I talked on the phone while she was working and totally distracted her from doing her job (because it’s hard to work when I’m right there saying, “Okay PRINCESS SPANKY PANTS!” and giggling a lot).

At one point, when I was in the midst of rearranging Danielle’s desk so that I could put my laptop on it, someone came in to ask her a question; she needed to get to her computer but of course she couldn’t because I was under the desk moving plugs around (I need a LOT OF PLUGS, YOU ALL).  I started to apologize, but Danielle just laughed and said, “It’s fine!  You’re the talent! We love you!”

Every once in a while, when I’m having a really crappy day, I think about what it would be like to be The Talent all the time.  How sweet would that be?  Everyone is so nice when you’re The Talent!  And of course they don’t expect much of you, because you’re the TALENT not the BRAINS.

I would like to have a day when I didn’t have to be the brains.  A girl could really go for that.

Of course the real question is what would I demand if I were The Talent?  Because you know, that’s the thing about being The Talent — you get to insist on having things like Evian to wash your hair and only blue M&Ms and a fully stocked bar in your dressing room.

Oooh how great would that be?

Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything crazy to ask for — I mean, I would need coffee, of course, lots of it, with just the EXACT amount of half and half, but that’s an everyday necessity for me, not a special request (even though my husband would insist that YES THAT IS A SPECIAL REQUEST).  I suppose I could ask for cupcakes — those gigantic ones from Sprinkles!  Maybe the Black and Whites, or the Orange, or the Vanilla Milk Chocolate!  So hard to decide!

Oh wait, if I’m The Talent I don’t have to decide.  Excellent.

I think that tomorrow I need to get myself a cupcake to go with my coffee.  I also might need to think harder about what to ask for the next time I get to be The Talent.

Feel free to make suggestions.